The Path We Chose
by BelieveItOrNot
Summary: A look at the relationship & love of Edward and Bella, two self-aware teenagers who are forced to grow up quickly. Together, they battle problems and find their inner strength. No love triangles. Fluffy beginning, drama ensues, no dark themes. AH AU OOC
1. Of Birds and Bees

**A/N: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, obviously...I'm just the uninvited guest swimming around in her pool.**

**This is rated M for later language and sexual content. Even though I don't write graphic sex scenes, I don't always fade to black either. I guess it would be considered lemon-scented or lemon-flavored...**

**This will all be written in Bella's POV, but Edward makes at least an appearance in every chapter.  
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The Path We Chose

Chapter 1: Of Birds and Bees

It was sunny in Forks the day Edward and I were paired up to be husband and wife in our Health class. It was sunny the whole day. If you knew what a rarity it was to have the sun even peek from behind the clouds in Forks, especially in early October, you would understand the significance of a complete day of sun. Later I would read this as a sign. A sign that everything was changing. For better or worse, everything would be different. Edward and I, we knew each other of course; this was Forks, after all. But we weren't really friends or not friends. He was the guy that most girls wanted to date, but nobody did. He just didn't date-at least not the girls at our school. The girls gave up on going after him once he turned down the beautiful, glammed-out, all-too-attainable, Lauren Mallory. That's what I was told anyway, when I first moved here a month ago. Forks High, though lacking in money, teachers and extra-curriculars, was not lacking in gossip.

Jessica Stanley made sure that the gossip was well-spread. She flung it all over the place while her followers caught it and swallowed. On slow days, she just made it up-turning some poor student's life right into fiction. That was the first thing I learned at my new school. _Don't tell Jessica anything_.

I never witnessed the girls hanging on Edward like he was some kind of celebrity, but Jessica made sure I knew. According to her, ever since Edward turned his back on Lauren last year, people started walking the halls indifferent toward him. If she didn't have a chance nobody did. Also, according to Jessica, _she_ had never really been interested in Edward. He wasn't her type. I didn't ask her what her type was, but she told me anyway. That was when I stopped listening. When she looked at me like she was expecting an answer to a question-a question I hadn't even heard-I just threw another one back at her. I asked her how she got her hair to hold up so perfectly in the rain. That guaranteed my escape from having to be an active participant in the conversation for the rest of the lunch hour.

Edward had his own small group of friends, the beautiful people. They all must stick together, you know. When I first saw them, it really struck me how beautiful they all were. It was a natural kind of beauty, not forced like Lauren or even Jessica who wore too much makeup, too much hair spray, and too little clothing. After a while, though, the beautiful people, just became people. They had homework like the rest of us, curfews like the rest of us, problems like the rest of us. There was Rosalie, tall and blond and glossy-lipped, who rarely talked to anyone outside of their little group. Her boyfriend, Emmett, was a big brute of a man, really. He looked like he belonged on a college football team, and he talked loudly to anyone and everyone. Alice, the tiny brunette with short, wispy hair, darker than mine, and lips redder than anyone's, had an energy that people drink cups upon cups of caffeine to acquire. Jasper, the one with dark-blond waves usually covering much of his blue eyes, always had his hands on Alice. It was like he couldn't be near her without touching her. And then Edward, of course, who had hair that I would have to call bronze even though I usually don't compare hair colors to precious metals. You would think he was from California rather than Washington the way his hair had all those lighter streaks of red mixed in with the darker browns. His eyes were the kind you could see from yards away. So green. Of course the closer you got the more intense they became and the way he looked at you, like he was really seeing your inner thoughts...It's no wonder the girls all used to think they had a chance.

So, Edward and I were paired in Health because I drew his name out of a top hat, and I moved back to the desk next to him at the end of the aisle. I moved slowly and carefully because I usually tripped in these kinds of scenarios (you know, walking), especially if I wasn't thinking about it, and sometimes even if I was. I made it to the back, trip-free, and we pushed our desks together because we were told to do so by the teacher. You are married now, partners, so you are to sit close, Mrs. Hines had said. She hadn't looked at the class when she told us. She'd been looking past us, out the window. Some students turned out of curiosity. I knew better. There was nothing there. Mrs. Hines often behaved like she wasn't really in her body-like she wasn't present. It was weird.

As our desks came together, my finger got caught between them. Of course, I couldn't have had the good sense to move it out of the way. I brought it up to my mouth because for some reason sticking a hurt finger in your mouth makes it feel better.

"Sorry," Edward said, reaching for my hand, only to stop mid-way.

"It's not you, it's me," I said, but I don't know if he fully understood me because my finger was still between my lips.

"Man, our first day of marriage and I've already hurt my wife. Not a good start at all."

I removed my finger. "It's not you. This kind of stuff happens to me all the time."

"I'll have to be extra careful with you then, Bella."

Alice and Jasper easily distracted us then. They were scrambling around trying to get their partners to switch so they could be paired with each other. Edward and I were already laughing together at this weird mating dance that didn't look much different than clowns in a circus. Alice, leaning over Mike's desk, kept batting her eyelashes and pouting her lips, and Mike kept smiling and shaking his blond head. Jasper was pleading his case with Jessica but she kept winking at him and touching his face or brushing his hair out of his eyes. Edward and I, we just kept laughing.

The switch was never going to happen. Mike and Jessica, of course were all too happy with their marriages just the way they were. They seemed to think they had a chance of splitting up Alice and Jasper. I could have told them they didn't have a chance in hell, not even if they were partnered for all of eternity, but where was the fun in that? We would miss out on laughing at their expense like this.

Apparently, now that we were married, we would have to dig ourselves out of a variety of troubles that would be thrown at us until the end of the semester. As if teenagers didn't have enough problems, now we had to battle fake ones. At least we got to start out on our honeymoon which would be a period of time where we could just get to know our partner.

"So, where should we go on our honeymoon?" Edward asked after class, throwing an arm over my shoulder like it was the most natural thing ever.

"Um, how about the beach?" I asked. It was sunny, after all.

"Sure, I know the perfect one. I'll pick you up at 3:30."

"Do you know where I live?"

"Isn't yours the one with the police cruiser out front?" He laughed. Of course everyone would know where Chief Swan lived.

It wasn't even 3:31 when he picked me up in his old Volkswagen Bug. It was blue and made a lot of noise. "Are you sure this can make it there?" I asked.

"Just as sure as your old truck could. Get in," he said from the driver's seat.

I wore jeans, a sweatshirt, a knitted hat and brought along a heavy jacket because the sun in Forks, by no means, promised warmth. We talked as he drove since we were still in that uncomfortable-silence stage.

"Ever been married before?"

"Oh yeah," I said, "lots of times. This one will stick. I'm sure of it."

"What happened to your other husbands?"

"It didn't work out. I killed them. They deserved it though, I promise."

"I believe you," he said. "Did you use the candlestick or the revolver?"

"Neither. I'm not strong enough or brave enough for that. I'd probably miss with the revolver and not hit hard enough with the candlestick, and have you ever tried to kill someone who's begging to live? That makes it so much harder. I just poisoned their food."

"I'll remember never to get on your bad side."

"Smart thinking."

Traipsing along the beach, my feet dug into the sand with every step. I stumbled a few times and checked to see if Edward had noticed. His face was more than a bit amused. He noticed every time. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him reach his hand toward me during my next stumble. I caught myself first, but it was nice to know that amused wasn't the only emotion he was feeling.

A big thick blanket came out of his backpack, Edward yanked it out and spread it over the sand. We sat together watching the waves tackle one another in their race to the shore. Salty water scented the air, refreshing, relaxing. Over the sound of the tide and squawking birds, Edward and I listened to each other talk. I told him about my mom and step-dad Phil moving around while Phil played baseball, chasing his chance from minors to majors. I told him about my decision to move to Forks with my dad, and our rekindling relationship.

He told me about his dad finishing up his residency as a surgeon at Forks Community Hospital and his mom working to support the family. He said his mother, Esme, a fourth grade teacher, comes home tired, rubbing her feet, then she prepares dinner and grades papers while dinner cooks or stews or bakes. "Esme, the sugar mama," I said.

"Yeah, but my dad thanks her and promises her that very soon she will never have to work again if she doesn't want to."

A gust of wind came up then, effectively shutting our mouths, blowing sand in our faces and hair, and pulling a screech from me as I covered my eyes. This made Edward laugh, which made me hit him. He couldn't stop laughing, and I hoped some sand would find its way into his mouth. Unlike me, he had the good sense to cover his mouth while he laughed. I let him calm himself down as I tried my best to smooth my fly-away hair. The wind kept whipping it out from under my beanie, all over the place in knotted curls. Finally I just let it blow. Damn, long hair.

Once the wind calmed down a bit, Edward pulled a bag of purple grapes out of his backpack. I wondered what else might come out of that backpack. We fed each other grapes because apparently that's what couples do on their honeymoon. Although, in all honesty, we weren't so much feeding each other as throwing them one by one at each other while the other one tried catching it all open-mouthed. There is really no dignity in looking up with your mouth wide open while grapes land on your face.

"Hey, that was a bad throw. You could at least aim for my mouth," I said after the sixth grape landed in my eye. I grabbed it and popped it in my mouth.

"There's no challenge in that," he said, tossing another grape my way without looking. I plucked it off the blanket and threw it back at him. The lucky bastard caught it in his mouth. "That's four for me."

"But see, I threw it right at your mouth. I should get a point for that."

"Okay, four for me, one for you."

"Four for you, four for me."

"You cheater." He laughed at me. "We can't be even, you haven't caught any."

"I don't like to lose, though. Let's call it a tie."

"Somebody always has to lose, Bella. Nobody likes it, but them there's the rules."

"Fine, but toss another one at me. I want to at least catch one. And aim for my mouth you big jerk."

He did toss them at me then, one after the other until I finally caught one. I smiled wide while I chewed it up. "Ah, it was worth helping you cheat just to see that smile."

"Let's just eat them," I said. "This is taking too long and they're really good." He had to agree and we both started ripping grapes off and feeding ourselves. I didn't even notice how late it was getting until I shivered. The sun was setting. The clouds were pink. They looked like big tufts of cotton candy. Then we were both entranced by the ocean as it sparkled in all shades of sienna. Even inside my heavy jacket, I shivered again.

"You're cold," he said, like he needed to tell me.

"Yeah, I noticed." We packed everything back into his backpack, stuffing the blanket down in there. It wasn't easy. "How did you even get this thing in here the first time?"

"Well, I folded it the first time," he laughed. "I didn't just start shoving it like you did. Forget about it." He pulled the rest of it out again, draping it over my shoulders. I stumbled some more on our way back to the car. The blanket blowing behind me in the wind made it even harder to stay on my feet.

"I feel like I should give you a ride on my back before you hurt yourself."

"Ha, Ha."

The heater blasted in the car and I put my face right up to the vent to warm my nose. Edward asked me how many fake kids I wanted. Twins, I told him, a boy and a girl.

"Twins? Really? You're a brave one, aren't you?"

"Not really," I said, "I just only want to go through one pregnancy and get my two perfect kids."

"Do twins run in your family?"

"Not at all, but…if I had them then they would, wouldn't they? I doubt we'll be able to choose how many kids we have in class, though."

"No, our kids will probably come one by one out of a hat."

When Edward picked me up earlier, he had waited in the car for me, honking his arrival, which was why I was surprised when, upon our return, he got out of his car to open the door for me. Then he surprised me even further by walking me to my front porch.

"I had fun," I told him, sticking my hand out for a shake.

"I don't think that's how newlyweds say good-bye," he said.

"Um...well, what?" I think I said.

"Just joking," he took my hand and shook it firmly. Disappointment shot through me. I tried to keep it from landing in my eyes, and I hid it with a smile. That's when I noticed his hair was sort of shimmering under the porch light.

"Do you get highlights?"

"No, why?"

"It's just, your hair has so many different shades in it. It's unnatural." I reached up to touch a few strands.

"So does yours," he said bringing the ends of my hair up to my line of vision. "See, here's some gold here, and a redder strand here, but mostly it's just dark," and he ruffled it all up like it wasn't already knotted enough by the wind.

"Hey, don't mess with the coif!" I ruffled his hair too because I wanted to touch it again. "I like how your hair goes this way and that, even when it's not windy."

"It's how I comb it," he said. "I get up, take a shower and run my fingers through it."

"Speaking of showers." I cleared my throat. "I do think it's time to wash the beach out of my hair. There's enough sand in here to make my own personal sandbox right here on my porch." I opened my front door and told him I'd see him tomorrow.

"Yeah, I'll be here at 7:15," he said, "don't be late," and headed for his car.

So, I supposed that was his way of telling me he would be driving me to school from now on. I could have told his presumptuous self that I would continue to drive my truck to school, but I didn't want to.

"Hey Bella," he turned to me as he was unlocking his car and it dawned on me that I was just standing there, hand still on the half-opened door, watching him. "As far as arranged marriages go, ours is pretty cool."

I just smiled, nodded and waved, mostly in awe of how good he looked all dirty from an evening at the beach.

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So, there's the first chapter. What do you think? Is it even remotely interesting?

I do not yet have a beta, so please excuse any grammatical errors (I read and re-read obsessively, but I'm sure I missed something anyway).

Updates will be quick.

Please review.


	2. Strong Young Minds

**A/N: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, obviously...I'm just the uninvited guest swimming around in her pool.**

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Chapter 2: Strong Young Minds

Sometimes my dad, being the chief of police, came home from work sad. He would grab a beer just like any other day, but he wouldn't say anything. The evening after beach-day was one of those days. Not even the frozen lasagna that I baked in the oven for nearly two hours cheered him up. But this time, at dinner while we ate the cheerless lasagna and Caesar salad (yes, the kind you pour from a bag; don't judge me, I washed it first) he decided to talk about it.

"Bella," he said, "never go anywhere by yourself with strange boys. No matter how nice and helpful they seem." He tugged on one side of his mustache, a nervous habit. Once I'd suggested he shave it off. He seemed offended and shocked, like I had asked him to take off a limb or something. _My mustache? _He had said, _I've had it ever since I could grow one_.

"I try to always stay away from all strange people," I said, not really knowing where he was going with this. Did he find out about Edward, I wondered.

"I mean strangers. Boys or men you don't know or never met."

"Okay Dad, I'll be careful."

"You don't know what's out there, Bella. I don't even want you to know. Just don't trust anyone; please don't trust anyone. They're out for one thing."

"Blood?"

"Two things," he held up two fingers, " they're out for two things."

Okay, I could guess what had happened. He was right, I didn't want to hear about that. I would make a point not to read the paper in the morning. That wouldn't be too hard since I never really read it anyway unless I was looking up movie times. But tomorrow, I would not read it on purpose.

The lasagna was so sad at this point that I couldn't even eat anymore. I put my fork down and just looked at my dad in case he had anything else to say. It seemed he didn't. He just ate the sad, sad dinner.

I sat with him until my mom called, and then I retreated to my room. She told me about her crazy schedule in Florida with Phil. It was hard for her to even find a minute to call with the time differences. I told her about the ridiculous marriage project that I secretly loved because I could not have been partnered better. She laughed and talked about how much school has changed over the years. She remembered carrying around an egg in a basket and drawing a face on it. She even made little clothes for it out of felt, but she never had to get fake married.

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In the next few weeks, my pretend husband and I grew closer. We'd become good friends, even if it was a friendship born of sarcasm and jokes. We laughed at just about everything. We laughed so much that people would stop and ask us, "What?" just because they wanted to laugh, too. We always answered, "nothing," because it was easier than explaining it. Whenever you have to re-explain anything, it's never quite as funny.

I wasn't stuck eating lunch at Jessica's table anymore while she and her group of admirers ignored me. Edward and I ate lunch together. That's right, I ate lunch with the beautiful people, officially turning their little group into "the beautiful people and that one girl". The other beautifuls stopped asking us what was funny after about the third day of not getting an answer. Now, they just gave an irritated eye roll or sigh whenever we started laughing, even if it was just a chuckle. Although, sometimes Emmett would just join in for no other reason than he liked to laugh. The only one of them who really wasn't opening up to me was Rosalie, but that didn't bother me, yet. I never really expected any of them to accept me easily, so having all but one welcoming me was more than enough. I tried to stay out of Rosalie's way, never really drawing her into unwanted conversation.

In the hallways, Edward still jokingly wrapped an arm around me. Others were staring but it didn't seem to bother him. He was probably used to people staring. He probably didn't even notice. The staring had me squirming, however. I couldn't stand it. I looked at the walls or even the ceiling instead of making eye contact with anyone. Homecoming rounding the corner brought more posters and banners to the halls, so my eyes actually had a place to land in my avoidance of all Forks High Humans.

The Tuesday before homecoming, Alice and I stood in the lunch line twice because they had those good brownies we liked. Brownies with chocolate and peanut butter and nuts, oh my. We needed seconds. I got up the nerve to ask Rosalie if she wanted one, too. In truth, by working up the nerve, I mean I didn't even think about it before asking her. If I would have thought about it, I would have lost the nerve. She scowled at me. She actually scowled, narrowing her eyes, pursing her lips and even flaring her nostrils. If I was standing any closer to her I might have heard her growl. I backed away just in case. "I don't eat those things," she said, like they were pieces of E.-coli-covered-spinach. Note to self, don't offer to do nice things for Rosalie. She is repulsed by anything nice or sweet. She was really starting to look less like the beautiful swan and more like the ugly duckling. Emmett was smiling away. He grabbed her and kissed her cheek. She smiled at him. I saw it. For a split second, she actually looked pretty again.

"I'll take one," Emmett said.

In line, feeling all impatient because I was afraid the brownies would be gone by the time we got there, I sort of bounced around in anticipation. "Bella," Alice said, giving me the exact opposite face Rosalie had shared with me a few minutes earlier. It was a sweet, wide-eyed expression. A halo floating above her would not have seemed out of place. "You're starting to act like me with all the bouncing." She was a bouncer and a fidgeter. I didn't know if it was a nervous thing or a too much energy thing. She was always still in Jasper's arms, though. It seemed just his touch could keep her from squirming. I don't know how he did it, but he just seemed to keep her grounded. Jasper was the one of the bunch who remained a mystery to me. He was friendly, soft spoken, easy to talk to, and somehow I felt like I had known him forever. I couldn't understand it.

I stopped bouncing. "Everyone is taking them," I said. "They're going to be gone. Look, can you see them? How many are left?"

Alice leaned around the people in front of us and started counting the brownies just as Jessica approached me. I felt her tap my shoulder. It wasn't a soft tap.

"Hey Jess," I said, shortening her name as if I knew her well enough.

"Hey, are you dating Edward?" She asked me, as if she knew _me_ well enough.

"No," I said at the exact same time that Alice said, "yes," louder than me.

I looked at Alice. Did she know something I didn't? She just grinned at me. I liked her grin, it was endearing and cute and she crinkled her little nose with it. It was such an anti-Rosalie grin that I appreciated it more. I wanted to do that chin-swipe thing that mom's do with their finger when their little girls are being adorable.

"Whatever, Bell." Jessica said before she reached between Alice and me, grabbed an apple, and turned away.

"It's Bell-a," I called after her.

She turned toward me, her high-lighted curls twirling over her shoulder, and put her hand on her chest, "It's Jess-ica." Well, isn't this the day when all the bitchy girls put me in my place? I wanted to take one of those ripe red things and throw it at her. With my luck, she would probably turn around and catch it. I left the apples right in their basket, waiting for the healthy eaters of Forks High. As it turned out, I had nothing to worry about when it came to my favorite dessert. The cook brought out a whole new fresh sheet of brownies. I took two warm ones.

Back at the table, Rosalie spoke to me. "You have chocolate in your teeth," she said loud enough for anyone to hear so they could all turn to see it too. Emmett laughed. I decided that Emmett thought anything Rosalie did or said was hysterical.

"Shut up, Emmett. I brought you a brownie." That just made him laugh harder. I rubbed my teeth with my fingers asking Edward if it was gone yet. He kept shaking his head and Alice handed me a compact. So this was why girls needed compacts. I'd always wondered why anyone would carry around a silver case that had nothing in it but two mirrors. Now I knew. That may have been the only new thing I actually learned that day at school.

I smiled at Rosalie to show her the chocolate was gone. "You're welcome," she said.

Rosalie was in my AP Literature class. I recommended AP Literature to everyone and anyone who would listen. You get to _read_ and _discuss_ literature--and get graded on it. My rationalization needed no further explanation; I was sure of it. Math enthusiasts probably disagreed with my logic, but not Rosalie. I could tell Rosalie agreed. She loved to discuss our reading material; she loved playing devil's advocate during said discussions. Whatever your point was, she could argue it. She argued so much that I wondered if she even held tight to any of her convictions. Most likely it was the draw of the argument that brought forth her inner Elizabeth Bennett--headstrong and unyielding whether she really believed in her point or not . Whenever her gloves came on, so to speak, I shut my mouth. She intimidated me enough when she just looked at me. Toss a swing-happy Rosalie in the ring, and I would gladly throw myself out of the match, before anyone could say, "Knock Out, Bella's down." I would have even run to dreadful Calculus to get out of her way. (Thankfully, Calculus was not a part of my schedule, so I didn't have to worry about that.) I often left Literature with that feeling that comes with having to suppress my true thoughts out of fear. You know, where you think for a minute you might just be capable of murder? I was afraid I couldn't articulate my thoughts as well as Rosalie. The silver lining was that Literature was my last class before lunch so afterward I had Edward to clear my mind of Rosalie just like a reset button. Seeing Edward not only sitting at the lunch table, but watching for me always made me relax into a smile.

Emmett came to lunch from Calculus, the class I would avoid like the Bubonic Plague, save getting out of a book discussion with Rosalie. Emmett was one of those people you don't know was smart until you talked to him. Smiling and cracking jokes all the time, he falsely appeared to be a typical big jock. In all actuality, he loved to mind-wrestle. He loved to take controversial subjects and talk people in circles until they were confused about their own argument. Or, he might take a sentence you said and reiterate it using a combination of words from his infinite vocabulary all in one sentence, then he'd ask, is that what you're saying? You, having no idea what he just said, would have to agree. You walk away from the conversation never knowing he just insulted your mind. And by 'you' I mean me. I learned about his mind-wrestling the hard way. It was all in good fun, though. He really never expected others to match him intellectually and meant no harm by it.

I slapped his arm during lunch the day after Rosalie pointed out my chocolate-covered teeth. He had cornered Mike into a mind-wrestle in the cafeteria. Mike was just innocently walking by our table when Emmett called him over. He put a hand on Mike's shoulder as if holding the poor kid against his will. The other five of us, standing around Emmett, were getting ready to take off for class when we became the intrigued audience of a mind-wrestling match.

"Bella and I were just discussing sexism in the work place," Emmett told Mike. It was a lie. We were actually talking about whether or not the milk was rancid. Mike's eyes widened at the sound of the word "sex". Emmett had his attention now. "Do you think that men and women should be paid according to different salary scales?"

"Well, I think it depends on the job."

"No, they're working the same job." Emmett still had a hand on Mike's shoulder, towering over him, and Emmett's voice was so much deeper that Mike did actually appear to be a little kid.

"Still, it depends," Mike said. "Like, if the job requires heavy lifting. Typically a man would be stronger and faster, so he should be offered a higher rate of pay."

"Oh, as long as we're generalizing, say it's an office job where the computer is the driving force of business. Since women, typically, are faster at typing would you say that would prove them to be more efficient? In general."

"I-I would say that."

"So, according to your logic, a woman in the identical position as you--same job description, requirements, and level of experience, mind you--should be paid at a higher rate because of the probability that she is faster, therefore more effective on the job?"

Mike frowned, glancing from Emmett to me then back at Emmett again. "No. Yeah, yeah." Then, eyes unfocused, he nearly ran away. It was like Emmett just beat up his brain.

"Slam!" Emmett shouted after Mike. That was when I slapped his arm.

"What? I can't help it if my brain holds more knowledge than his, just like he can't help it if his brain leaks information. Every mind has it's limitations. Even Einstein brain-blocked minuscule facts to leave room for the important ones. You can't teach people how to enlighten themselves. They just have to work with what God gave them and exercise their brain as best they can. This is not a learned behavior, Bella."

"Well, not everybody has a photographic memory," I said.

"That's what I just said."

Damn! Brain-slammed again. This was my cue to shut up before my eyes got all squirrelly like Mike's. Of course, Emmett laughed. He laughed hard because that was two in a row for him. I swear he got some kind of high off that. I looked over at Alice wrapped in Jasper's arms. She was shaking her head. Rosalie had a small grin on her face.

"Come on, wifey," Edward said throwing an arm over my shoulder, "Let's get you away from this mind-fucker."

Emmett was still laughing so I yelled over my shoulder, "Do you do that to Rosalie?"

"Are you kidding? She'd kill me," he yelled back.

"He's afraid she'll win, Bella," Alice hollered and then Rosalie and Alice's laughter took the place of Emmett's.

Edward's arm was still loosely slung over my shoulder as we neared our Health class. I wouldn't have minded if he held on a little tighter. "I'm surprised Emmett went so easy on Mike," I said. "It almost seemed like he wanted to keep him in the conversation longer."

"He did," Edward said. "Mike just wanted to get the hell out. If he would have stayed, Emmett's rant would have grown progressively worse and harder to follow."

"Has anyone ever beat Emmett at his own game?" I asked.

"Here's what you do," he said leaning closer to me I would have liked to lean closer to him, too, resting my head on his. "Whenever he asks for clarification, like, 'wouldn't you agree?' You always say no. But, after a few times he'll catch onto you, so then you could say, 'not exactly,' or 'let me explain myself so you can understand.' Insult his own comprehension or intellect and you've got him. He'll just say something like_, _I gotcha, and move on. He doesn't even mind-wrestle me anymore.

"I'm just going to avoid mind-wrestling him at all. It's too hard when you know someone is baiting you. It hurts my head."

Edward and I were early for Health because, unlike Alice and Jasper, we weren't compelled to make out in a hallway nook before class. Mike decided this would be the perfect time to ask me to the homecoming dance. I noticed his eyes had recovered from Emmett-gate and regained their focus. He must have figured out his plan to steal Alice away from Jasper wasn't really working in his favor and decided on a downgrade. I silently cursed because the Mike-and-Alice hour was just so much fun to watch.

"So, what do you say?" he purposely ran his fingers through his hair like it was supposed to be sexy or something. It only made me uncomfortable. I needed an out. I bit a fingernail and looked at Edward.

"You should go," he said. Ugh, how I felt like hitting him. Punching him in his gorgeous smug face, right in the middle of his bright green eyes. What happened to wifey? I wanted to say. Where's your arm now, Edward?

"I don't really go to dances," I said, looking at Mike, "ever."

He just shrugged, "Your loss."

"You should go?" I said to Edward. I spoke through my teeth because that's usually more threatening and shows your anger. It just made Edward laugh. "Why don't you just throw me to the wolves?"

"Mike's no wolf. He's more like a rat," he said. "You don't go to dances?"

I shook my head.

"Me either," he said and I thought that was too bad because if I was ever going to go to a dance, it would be with him.

"We should do something else," he said, and I whipped my head up at him because I had been looking down at my hands in defeat. "While all these other idiots are dancing to Top 40 music we could do something that's actually fun."

"Idiots?"

"It's called sarcasm. Maybe you've heard of it? It was meant ironically, not literally."

"Really? Because it sounded more like arrogance, which I'm sure you're familiar with. You know, when a person falsely believes _he_ is superior to everyone else for reasons that only _he _can understand."

"Ah, yes, I've heard of it. Although I've always thought of arrogance as a he or she kind of thing."

"In my experience, the arrogant one has always been a he."

"You need more experience," he said, and I couldn't argue with that. I literally couldn't, because class was starting, and Mrs. Hines was passing around a top hat filled with our first marital problem. I wondered if married life would be any easier if all your problems could fit inside a hat. I got my answer in less than a second.

"You had an affair?!" I heard Jessica screech at Jasper, who winked at Alice, who waved back at him with her big smile, nose-crinkles and all. Mike and Jessica looked back and forth between each other's partners like they were watching a tennis match.

"So, let's have it," I said as Edward unfolded the slip of paper he had pulled from the hat.

He shook his head, "I'm sorry."

"Not you, too," I said, searching the classroom for whoever he might be having an affair with.

"I lost my job," he said.

"Oh." I actually felt relieved by our fake problem. "How are we supposed to get you a pretend job?"

"I know!" he said and he even raised up a finger. "I'll ask Mrs. Hines to write me a letter of recommendation. She would never turn down her own letter. I'll have a job by next week."

"I knew I married you for a reason!" And then I stood up and kissed him right on the lips. I had never kissed anyone before and I just kissed him, without even thinking, right there in the classroom where anybody could have seen. I pulled back as fast as I could, covering my mouth. Then I couldn't do anything but play it off as a big joke, so I went all Scarlet O'Hara on him, throwing my arms round his neck, "Thank you, husband. Now I don't have to give up my manicures!" While I was in his arms, I thought, for just a second that even though my kiss had just been a peck, that maybe I felt his lips kissing me right back. Our bodies shook from his laughter and I pulled away, laughing, too because what else could I do? I stole a quick glance around the room to see if anyone had noticed our display, but luckily they all seemed to be involved in their own marital problems. Yes, pretty much like real life.

"I'm going to get such a great job that we can get rid of my old Bug and get a nice, shiny, silver Volvo."

"A Volvo? Really? Wow, Edward, shoot for the stars."

"Volvos are nice and dependable, and safe, you know for the little twins."

"Safety and dependability are important," I said, nodding, and thinking about our twins. Our twins we didn't have and most likely never would.

* * *

I do not yet have a beta, so please excuse any grammatical errors (I read and re-read obsessively, but I'm sure I missed something anyway).

Updates will be quick.

**Please review** if you like it or even if you don't like it. I need to know. Constructive criticism is helpful; flaming is just plain mean. :)

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	3. Owning The Moon

**Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. I'm just an uninvited guest swimming around in her pool.**

**Thank you, lovely reviewers. You are inspiration.**

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The Path We Chose

Chapter 3: Owning The Moon

On Friday night, homecoming night, Edward took me to a pub in Port Angeles that offered live music. I got to wear jeans, and a sweater and Vans, instead of a formal dress and heels--already better than homecoming. The Cliffs were playing tonight and since they were all under eighteen, the pub was letting minors in, but not without a bald guy sitting on a stool giving out huge red stamps on your hand that read: MINOR. I guess I should have been relieved that it didn't shout, LOSER.

We stood in the back of the dark, dank room, waiting at the bar for our Cokes while the band started. They were a loud mess of rock, and I kind of liked it even though my ears would surely be mad at me soon. The singer didn't really sing so much as growl his lyrics, and the patrons were more jumping than dancing. It was still safer for me to stand still where I was.

Edward, behind me, rested his arm on my hip, his thumb tickling my elbow. He seemed unaware of his own action. He leaned to my ear. "How do you think they got their name, The Cliffs?"

"Um, a last name?" I asked, because they all looked like they could be related with their black hair and dark skin.

"No."

"They like the cliffs at the beach?" I turned toward him and then instantly regretted moving because now his fingers were no longer touching my elbow.

"Close," he said. "Their name was once, Go Jump Off a Cliff. But it was too long for people to say, so it got involuntarily shortened to The Cliffs.

"Was I really supposed to guess that?"

He laughed and shook his head.

"How do I know you didn't just make that up so I would think you knew the band or something?"

"Bella, why would I brag about knowing this band?"

He had a point. But then, at the end of each…song…I guess you would call it, the singer shouted, "Go jump off a cliff!" I guessed maybe they really did want their original name to make a come back.

Our Cokes were slammed down on the bar behind us. We collected our glasses all drippy from their splash landing, and headed to a table, which really wasn't the best idea because the music only got louder up there. Luckily for my ears, The Cliffs took a break. The lead singer, or lead growler, approached our table, shirtless and muscular and sweaty. I couldn't help but look at his six-pack. I mean, he was no Edward, but he had that body and I was a seventeen-year-old girl with hormones, and eyes.

"Edward, thanks for coming out, man." He gave Edward that handshake that boys give each other to feel cool or tough. They knocked knuckles at the end.

"No problem, Jake. This is Bella, she's uh, she's, well, she's my wife."

Jake frowned at Edward and gave my hand a regular old shake. "Nice to meet you, Mrs. Cullen, is it?"

"Bella Swan, actually."

"No way! Chief Swan's daughter? I know you. We know each other. I'm Jacob Black."

"Shut up! I haven't seen you in forever. I never would have recognized you." I stood up to hug his sweaty body. "We used to play together when we were kids," I told Edward. "Our dad's are old friends."

"Ah, on the inside with the police chief?" Edward leaned back in his chair. "Must be nice."

Jacob pulled up a chair from a nearby table--not bothering to ask the table's occupants if anyone was using it--and sat with us. "Hey, sorry about this place man, the acoustics in here are shit. You guys should come see us play at First Beach sometime in the wide open. That's where our music shines. How have you been Bella? Do you still fall all over the place?"

I looked down at my hands trying to fight my own blush. I reminded myself there was no need for embarrassment because Edward had already seen me in all my stumbling glory. They were both laughing. "I can't believe that's the one thing you remember about me!"

"Are you kidding? That _was_ you." He turned to Edward. "I remember this one time: we were playing on the roof of her dad's cruiser. How old were we? Ten? Eleven?"

"I think seven," I said.

"Nah, we were at least ten. She fell off the roof of the car, man, landed on her arm. I though it was broken, right? But she kept saying it was fine. She didn't want her dad to find out." He was laughing now--had Edward's full attention. "She went through the rest of the day with her arm just hanging there all limp. Finally, she told her dad. Finally. And it was broken, wasn't it, Bella?"

"You broke your arm?" Edward asked, his laughter halting.

"Yeah, Jake, thanks for reminding me of my idiocy. I really appreciate that."

"Aw, come on, you wouldn't be you if it weren't for things like that." He was still laughing--laughing harder now.

"I am _more _than just a klutz."

"I know, I know. Look, I gotta get back, now. It was awesome seeing you guys. I'll call you sometime, Bella. We'll catch up." Jacob leaped back up on stage. He was wearing pants cut off at the knee revealing his flexing calf muscles, and I could have sworn his toes pointed behind him, all graceful in his leap.

"Seems I know the band, too." I said. "Not proud of that, either."

"How does he know we're not here on a date?" Edward asked.

"What do you mean?"

"He just said he would call you when you could very likely be my date. I'm wondering if I should be offended."

"Probably because you told him I was your wife. Or, he doesn't care. It doesn't matter anyway. Don't you know that when 'call you sometime' is followed by 'we'll catch up' it never happens? People don't have any follow through. My mom taught me that."

Then all communication was cut because The Cliffs started up again and unless we wanted to scream at each other or say "what?" fifty times in a row, it was better to just sit and listen.

My ears were ringing by the time we raced to the car in a failed effort to outrun the rain. We both had soaked hair by the time we slammed our doors shut. A few miles down the road, my inner-old-lady reared her wrinkled presence worrying that my hearing would never be the same again. "Say something. Talk to me so I know my ears still work."

He looked over at me and mouthed something.

"Stop that," I said. "You keep your eyes on the road."

He laughed and I turned on the radio because that was just easier at this point. Rage Against the Machine was on. I heard them just fine. They seemed mellow.

* * *

"You kissed me in class the other day," Edward said walking me up the dark pathway to my door. Yeah, like he needed to remind me. I tried to think up a quick excuse that didn't sound too excuse-y. I came up with nothing so I just looked at him. Maybe that would work. He looked different with his hair all flat on his head from the rain.

"I was surprised," he said. Okay, he wasn't going to drop this no matter how much I looked at him. "I liked it."

Somehow I found my voice and the words, they came right out. "You were surprised you liked it?"

"No," he said with a laugh, and a shake of his head. "You surprised me with the kiss. I knew I would like it; I just never thought you would do it." Did that mean he thought about it? Kissing me? He'd thought about kissing me.

And then I knew he was going to kiss me because he said, "It's my turn to kiss you." His eyes were on mine and if I thought they were intense before, I didn't know anything. I wanted to look away, his stare was _that_ intense, but I couldn't, so I stared right back at him. This close, his eyes weren't all green, there was what looked almost golden-yellow just around his pupil. Closer he came and all I could think was: I hope I can do this, I hope he likes it, I hope I'm good at it. My eyes closed automatically and his lips met mine, and even though I knew it was coming, the touch of our lips startled me. I pulled back, slightly, but his lips followed me, and his hand on the small of my back kept me still. Then it was his lips on mine and my lips on his. I felt a tingle flutter through my body from my lips to my fingertips. My tingling fingers needed to touch something so I held on to his arms. His upper arms, I felt them flex.

Suddenly our kissing lips turned into mouths kissing, and tongues mingling and tickling. Yes, his tongue tickled mine. And this tickle didn't make me laugh, it made me whimper on an exhale--I couldn't help it. Then his hand at my neck slid to my face, his palm rounding my cheek and he pulled me closer, kissing me deeper. The pull was so forceful that I took a step toward him and I was on my tiptoes now. My hands moved to his waist and held on to steady my footing. My hands, there at his waist, holding on, and I felt him inhale. He held me so close our chests were touching. I could actually feel our hearts beating out different rhythms against each other as we kissed. Suddenly the tickling and tingling and fluttering turned into something stronger. Something more demanding and almost uncontrollable. I pulled away then, because I still could and soon I wouldn't be able to. Our foreheads rested together as though we were holding one another up as we let our breathing calm. I never knew there was that much...feeling involved in a kiss. It was so much more than lips. It was whole bodies. It was toes.

"What now?" he asked, still out of breath, and that made me want to kiss him again.

I just opened my mouth to answer and let his breath enter me. "I don't know," I said, because how could I know? I had absolutely no idea what he was thinking. "You kissed me," I told him, and he nodded, moving my head along with his. Then I pulled my head back because this conversation was awkward enough. "I liked it," I said.

"So did I."

"You did?" I didn't think he was lying but I really just wanted to hear that again.

"Absolutely. We should do that again sometime."

"Okay," I said, or asked. It kind of came out like a question. I reached up and fixed his hair, brought my fingers up through the tips, making it stand up again. The moon was behind him, low in the sky, reminding me that the world was still out there. Because a moment ago it wasn't. A moment ago it was just us and we owned the world and that moon.

"Goodnight, Bella," he said then kissed me again. It was a quick kiss and I leaned up into him as he pulled away. I felt a little-girl-pout coming on so I bit my lip instead. Then I went inside and I forgot to say goodnight back because I really wasn't thinking clearly.

That night, I went right to bed. All I saw was Edward everywhere and I just wanted to go to sleep so I could dream about him. It was not at all hard for me to fall asleep because my bed was so comfortable. The only request I had for my dad after I moved in was a comfortable bed. Right after he had asked me if purple was okay, I told him color didn't matter, comfort did. I'd laid myself down on the mattress and new exactly what I needed. "I'm going to need a down mattress for the top of this one, plus a down comforter for under this purple quilt, here." He'd called me a princess. "Just don't put a pea under my mattress." Dear-Old-Dad had spent a good chunk of his next paycheck on my requests. So, yes, my bed was much like a cloud and nobody should lay down on it unless he or she is ready to go to sleep.

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Edward invited me to his house on Sunday so we could work on getting him a fake job. Well, he didn't so much invite me as say, You're coming to my house on Sunday. I could have given him a hard time and pretended I had plans, but I didn't want to. I wanted to help my poor jobless hubby. We had a fixed budget, some money in our savings and we seriously had to narrow down our spending until he found a job. As a pretend wife, I was really quite the spender with my weekly manicures, my therapy, and what seemed to be a clothing obsession. I didn't like my pretend self very much (no wonder I was in therapy).

I was relieved when my truck started up because it had been so long since I'd driven it I was almost sure I would have to call Edward to come and pick me up. I drove the old red and rust colored Chevy to the outskirts of town and up narrow hills on windy roads dense with fir trees. So many of them grew here, one after the other, almost on top of each other--arrows in the sky. Edward lived in a big house on a hill, deeper into the woods where the homes were all much further apart from each other. He had told me his mother inherited this house which really helped their current financial situation. He introduced me to the gorgeous Dr. and Mrs. Cullen. They were young, in their thirties, I was sure; which clarified why Dr. Cullen was still a resident at the hospital. They must have had Edward around our age. Dr. Cullen, though blond and amber-eyed, reminded me of Edward. They both had that same intense stare. It's the kind of stare that makes you feel like blushing or looking away. I really didn't want Edward's father to make me blush so I looked past him at Esme. Her hair was similar in color to Edward's and her eyes were green, too. Her smile was warm when she shook my hand gently with both of hers and held on for a little while. She pulled me with her into the living room, offering me milk and cookies. I thought milk and cookies was the perfect snack to procrastinate with.

"How do you like Forks?" she asked me as we both reached for a Chips Ahoy. Edward was sitting on the arm of the sofa. Carlisle had left for the hospital, he'd been on his way out as I arrived. In front of us was a huge, uncovered window and I could see the trees, so immense, the tops disappeared into clouds. From here, it looked more like the trees were being spit out of the sky rather than growing up from roots in the earth.

"It's small," I said, "And cold, and wet." That's when I remembered she had asked my opinion of Forks, not for a description of the town she had lived in her whole life. "It's growing on me," I said, glancing at Edward. It was automatic. I couldn't stop it. He was smiling so I did, too. "Your home is beautiful," I said, because that was the polite thing to say upon entering someone's home for the first time. My mom had taught me _that_ much about manners. Then I looked around and believed it. The house was big and open and light. If I leaned back on the sofa, I could see into the kitchen. The furniture was modest. There was a wood piano against one blue-gray wall. All the walls I could see were some shade of nice, muted blue and the ceilings were painted light gray, matching the sky over Forks. I complimented her walls which did seem like a strange thing to say, but I liked them. She told me that she and her two men had painted last year.

"Do you play the piano?" I asked Esme.

"Edward used to play."

I looked at Edward. "You _used_ to play?"

'Um, we couldn't afford the lessons anymore," he said. Esme looked at her hands. She was holding a cookie. She put it back on the plate.

"He learned a lot in a short while," she said. "You should play for her Edward."

He went over to the piano and started playing "Chopsticks". And then he laughed. "Some other time."

Up in Edward's room, after he closed his door, we decided that kissing was more imperative than school work. We were sitting at his desk, (me on top of his lap) where our books and notes were strewn about. Our intentions were in the right place but our hormones had other ideas. We had simply entered his room, traveled straight to the desk, tossed our Health notes and texts on top, then looked at each other. That was when we knew we had to kiss. If I wore lipstick, his whole face would have been splattered in color. I was sure my own face was turning red from his scratchy, whiskering beard. It felt good and so masculine at first, but when it kept rubbing against the same places it started to hurt a little.

"Edward?"

"Yes, Bella."

"Do you want to keep kissing me?"

"Unquestionably."

"Then please go shave your face."

I don't know if men are ever really eager to shave, but Edward, just then, I would call eager. He practically threw me off his lap and sprinted into the bathroom. "Heat up, heat up," I heard him tell the water.

I took this chance to look around his room. It was a corner room with windows on two of the walls. Unlike the rest of the house, his walls remained white, but just like the rest of the house his windows were nearly floor to ceiling big, and free of window-coverings. From where I stood with my back to his desk, his bed was in front of me, and to the right of it, three windows, side-by-side, covered the wall. I had to walk around the bed to see the base of those windows, they were so big. I imagined that when lying on his bed, facing the windows, he might get the feeling he was actually sleeping in the forest.

Next to his closet, his desk rested against a fourth window so if he ever needed a break from his studies, he only had to look up and out at this breathtaking view. From up here, it looked different. A fir tree, towering over the house, grew right outside his desk window. I put my head against the glass and looked down through the branches, so thick, I couldn't see the ground. The adjoining wall was window-free. It held a shelf, housing book after book all the way to the bathroom. As the wall continued on the other side of the bathroom door, so did another shelf, lined with CD's the entire way to the main entrance. I was drawn to the books, mostly hard covers. I picked up the Dickens book and opened it. It was old, the pages were nearly tissue-paper thin and lined with gold. It was a first edition. These books were not meant to be read, they were collector's items. I quickly tried to put it back on the shelf before he caught me fondling it.

"Come here," he said, stepping out of the bathroom.

"You collect first editions?"

"You noticed." He pulled me closer by my hand. "Yeah, my dad bought me one when I was about five. It was the Velveteen Rabbit. It's worth thousands now. Ever since then I sort of collect them."

"Have you read them all?"

"Of course," he said. "Some more than others."

Then he kissed me before I could ask another question, or even thank him for shaving. Edward kissing you--the best way of shutting a person up, ever. He smelled clean, the scent of his shaving cream. I reached up and caressed his smooth face and felt him smile.

We did actually get a little homework done before I left. We had to force ourselves. We couldn't touch or be near enough to accidentally touch, nor could we face or look at each other, but it worked. Edward opened his door to make it a little easier for us. I wondered what it would be like in Health class where we sat so close.

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So, yeah, Jake made a cameo. This will probably, most likely, be his only scene so I had to let Bella at least ogle him. I mean, she does have eyes. She can't help that.

Reviews are just as good as feeling Edward's kiss in your toes!

Do you like? Should I continue? Is there anything that isn't working or is confusing? Let me know. :)


	4. These Lips

**Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. I am just the uninvited guest swimming around in her pool.**

**Thank you for continuing to read and review! :)  
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The Path We Chose

Chapter 4: These Lips

Things change after you share your first kiss. I don't just mean the first kiss of your life, but your first kiss in a new relationship. What seemed natural before--keeping a friendly distance from each other--was now close to impossible. Edward and I could not be within a few feet of each other without touching. I suddenly felt awful for ever laughing at Alice's and Jasper's partner situation in Health. It must have been excruciating for them to be in the same room for nearly an hour without being close enough to touch. Edward and I held hands through the entire class period. We had no choice.

The first time Edward reached for my hand under our desks, I had looked at him and we both smiled. It felt right. Sometimes he would run the backs of his fingers up and down my arm from my wrist to my elbow until he felt my goose-bumps. Do it again, I would think, and he would, just like he read my mind. Edward and I never officially declared ourselves boyfriend and girlfriend. We didn't have to--we just knew it. And so did everybody else. The people in the everybody else category stared harder than before and I heard our names on their whispers. The girls' stares were different than the boys'. The girls knew Edward was dating now and seemed to think that perhaps, with the right look or twinkle of the eye, he might leave me and sprint to them.

Jessica and Lauren were the only ones who were bold enough to actually flirt with him in front of me. Edward had to pry their hands from his chest or away from his arm with one hand while he held me at my hip with the other. They had no shame. I reminded myself that I was the one he was kissing and touching and holding.

About three weeks after our relationship had become public knowledge, Jessica found us in the parking lot before school. She trolloped over just as Edward and I were heading toward the big brick building. On and on she chattered about Health class, all the while keeping her eyes on Edward in hopes that he might look her way and see her sparkle. I wanted to tell her that her sparkle was manufactured and came from the glitter in her eye shadow, but that would just be catty.

"Don't you think it's _so_ funny that I ended up with Jasper and Alice ended up with Mike?" She asked.

"Wasn't it even funnier when you and Mike refused to help them out by trading partners?" I asked, enjoying the taste of sarcasm as it left my mouth. I wasn't that opposed to catty, after all.

"Maybe Alice and Jasper aren't the soul mates they think they are." She laughed when neither of us replied. "Just kidding," she said and put her hand on Edward's chest, as if she was just giving him a friendly pat, but then she left it there.

"Jess-ica," I said. "I know Edward's chest is really hard to resist. Believe me, I know. But don't you remember yesterday when he had to move your hand away _for _you…_again_?"

"Oh," she flew back like it was his chest and not my words that had just burned her. "I hadn't even noticed. Sorry."

"Okay," I said, sweeter than honey on a strawberry. "We'll see you in class later." I gave her an Alice-style nose-crinkle. Surprisingly, she walked away, but not without a teasing smile toward Edward. He wasn't looking at her. His eyes were on me and my smile.

"So," Edward said, squeezing me closer, "my chest is hard to resist?"

"Irresistible." I brought my hand to the exact spot Jessica's had rested only seconds ago and I tickled slowly with my fingernails. He closed his eyes. "Do you like that?"

"You have no idea."

"And when her hand was here?"

"It felt like weight." He picked up my hand and kissed it. "This is the hand I want."

* * *

Jasper was sitting alone at lunch. By alone, I mean Alice wasn't there and Emmett and Rosalie had their noses in each other's faces in some sort of discussion. Their lips were moving at the same time. I wondered if one even heard what the other was saying. "Where's Alice?" I asked Jasper as I took my seat next to Edward. He kissed my cheek and whispered, hello, reminding me that I hadn't properly greeted him before my Alice inquiry. He let his arm linger over my shoulder. "Hi," I whispered back.

"She's in the library with Mike. They're behind on the budgeting report."

"How are they behind?" Edward asked, "It's easy. It's practically done for you at this point. It's more about copying your income from one piece of paper to your report."

Jasper leaned closer to us, his arms resting on the table. "Well, Alice doesn't like going to Newton's house." He was speaking so softly that Edward and I both bent our heads straining to hear him over the rest of the cafeteria noise. It didn't help that Emmett was cackling next to us in his banter with Rosalie.

"Why not?" I asked.

Jasper didn't answer. He just raised his eyebrows at us and shifted in his seat, looking uncomfortable and anxious. I'd never seen him uncomfortable or anxious before. We changed the subject and I tried to keep him involved in the conversation as much as possible but his attention kept drifting off. Eventually he announced he was going to find Alice and he'd see us in class.

Edward and I barely made it to Health on time because, well, we were compelled to make out in a hallway nook before class. When we finally relented and made our way toward class, we left our little nook, but didn't stop kissing. He held my shoulders and I was walking backward--often bumping into other students--while he walked forward kissing me between each step. Some guy pushed on me when I stepped on his foot and I fell forward against Edward who stumbled back but managed to keep us both from falling over. We laughed and kissed some more. We were mid-kiss when Jasper caught my arm. I turned and Edward's lips grazed my cheek.

"Bella? Have you spoken to Alice at all today?"

"No, I usually don't see her until lunch and obviously she wasn't there today. Why?"

He leaned closer and whispered, "She's upset about something. She ran from me, into the bathroom." His breath was warm on my face and there was something different in his blue eyes. They were rounder and wider--he seemed really worried. I looked at Edward and he told me to go on. Jasper took my hand and led me quickly to the bathroom in the hall outside the library.

I practically ran through the door, "Alice!" She was right there, standing against the wall. Crying. "What is it? What happened?"

She was sobbing. She could barely speak. Her chest was heaving. I didn't know what to do. I looked around the room like my answer was there somewhere. Paper towels, sinks, soap-dispensers, nothing would help. I started to get hot, really hot, sweaty. I went to her and tucked her little wisps behind her ear over and over trying to sooth her, because that's what my mom used to do for me. In between gasps, she said that Mike had kissed her.

"Alice, I don't understand. Did he hurt you?" She shook her head. "Did he force it on you?"

Her sobs were mellowing. "Not rough or anything. He just kissed me. As soon as I pulled away he stopped and said sorry."

"Why did he kiss you?"

"Well…after, he said that he thought if he kissed me I would like it."

"Why are you so upset, sweetie?"

"Jasper--" was all she said before her sobs started all over again. She sank to the floor. I took a deep breath and sat with her on the germy, cold, public restroom floor. I cringed a little when I felt the floor beneath me, but Alice, her face was in her knees. I pet the nape of her neck like she was a cat. I had to make her purr. I waited for her to calm again before I asked her if she kissed Mike back. I didn't think she would have but I couldn't understand why she was this distraught. Angry, I could understand. Annoyed, irritated, sure. But sad? I didn't get it.

"No! Bella, no."

"Alice, please explain this to me." I was looking right into her dark eyes, pleading for her to trust me. I put a hand on her shoulder like I'd seen Jasper do many times before. It seemed it worked better when he did it.

"Mike's lips were on mine, Bella," she whispered. She touched her lips like she needed to show me--like Mike's kiss was still there, visible. "I had a feeling he would try something like this. I just _knew_ it. I refused to go to his house. I knew it." Her head shook back and forth. "I didn't want to be alone with him. Jasper is going to--"

"What is Jasper going to do?"

"He's going to be so hurt."

"Alice, have you met Jasper? He's going to understand."

"You think so?"

"I've only been friends with you guys for a little while, but I _know_ so. He loves you. He's waiting for you right outside. You should see him. He's so worried about you, he can barely talk. He's been whispering since lunch."

"Oh. I know I'm overreacting. It's just, you don't know. Jasper first kissed me when I was fifteen. I've never kissed anybody else." More tears presented themselves. They weren't going to let her go easily. I caught them with the back of my finger--one side, then the other. "Bella, these lips…" she touched them again, "they're Jasper's, you know? I know it sounds, I don't know, idiotic, but that's _our_ thing. I told them they were his. I gave him my lips for Christmas one year." She rolled her eyes at herself in embarrassment. "It's our thing," she repeated. "He says, bring my lips over here, or I say, your lips are lonely or whatever. But now…"

Then I hugged her again, because that logic I could understand. Her lips were only for Jasper. She didn't want to share them with anybody else. I kissed her cheek. "Alice, that isn't idiotic. But Mike? He doesn't even count. It's like a fly landed on you. An unwanted, pesky fly landed on your lips and you shooed it away. That's all." I got a half-smile out of her. "Come on. Wash your face off." I pulled her up to the sink.

"Oh, God. I have mascara running all over me."

"I don't know why you wear that stuff. You don't need it. Your eyes are beautiful as they are." I wet a paper towel for her and handed it to her. She took it from me and threw it in the garbage.

"I'm not putting _that_ on me." She ran the water and started splashing her face. Sure, she would sit all over the disgusting floor but the paper towel couldn't touch her. She seemed to be done crying, though.

"I'll tell Jasper you're on your way."

"Bella?" She said as I was almost out the door. "Don't tell Rosalie? About the lip thing."

I told her I wouldn't say anything. I never spoke to Rosalie anyway, so why would I tell her? My relationship with Rosalie entailed the do not speak unless spoken to rule. I steered clear of her and she mostly steered clear of me--or maybe she was just indifferent. I couldn't be sure.

Jasper was leaning against the lockers across the hall with his arms folded across his chest. He stood upright when he saw me. I smiled at him to let him know that Alice was okay. "Bella," he drew me into a hug and I felt warmth all around me, like a blanket. I hadn't even known I was cold. I remembered being hot in the bathroom, but when had that been replaced by cold? "Thank you," he whispered. My body and mind relaxed and any panic I had left in me melted away. I knew the warm, calm feeling came from Jasper somehow. I had never felt anything like it before. Alice needed this. She needed to get herself into Jasper's arms. "Is she--What's going on?" He was still talking in warm whispers, warm against my hair.

"She's better," I said, pulling out of Jasper's embrace but the warmth remained. I was compelled to tell him what I could to ease his mind a little. But I think I did the opposite. "Jasper, something happened. It's nothing huge--at least I don't consider it to be. But she feels so guilty and she's afraid it's going to hurt you. Just remember that she is really torn up."

His eyes were slits and his lips, pursed. "Did that little fucker--?"

"No! It's not what you're thinking. Not even close."

He just shook his head over and over until Alice walked out looking much better. She even smiled at him. It was the most timid smile I had ever seen on her face and her nose didn't crinkle. Jasper picked her up in his arms and hugged her. Her feet were well above the floor. "Tell me what's wrong, baby," I heard him say as I walked back toward Health. It hadn't been a whisper.

It seemed the class was getting free time to work on our project. I apologized to Mrs. Hines telling her I had personal problems. She waved me by without any eye contact, which didn't matter because I was busy glaring at Mike, the fly, as I passed him to get to my desk. Edward was questioning me with his eyes and I explained in hushed fragments. Bathroom, Alice bawling, Mike kissed her, he's a fly, with Jasper now.

"She was that upset over a kiss?"

"Yeah, that's where my thoughts were going at first, too. But then she told me that she had never kissed anybody but Jasper." I looked up into his eyes, those eyes. "That's when I understood."

His eyes widened and he bent down, our noses almost touching. He titled his head slightly and his nose nudged my cheek. "Are you telling me," he said against my lips, "that I am the only person you've kissed?"

"Yes," I said back against his lips. "Couldn't you tell?"

"Not at all." And then he kissed me soft and quick in the back of Health class before anyone noticed, or maybe they did, but it didn't matter.

When the bell rang, as soon as we were out the door, Edward grabbed Mike's shoulder and pulled him to a stop. "We need to talk."

I followed them outside where Edward questioned him against the wall. I hoped they wouldn't start fighting because that brick building did not look safe at all.

"I thought I had a chance with her. I was wrong. End of story. Come on, man, think about Bella."

"Don't you say her name!" I thought for sure Mike would be slammed into the wall for that, but Edward restrained himself, keeping his fists close to his sides. "What does Bella have to do with you kissing Alice?"

"You probably thought you had a chance with her," he gestured to me, "when you kissed her, and it worked out for you, didn't it?"

"Bella did not have a boyfriend. How can you think you have a chance with Alice when she already has a boyfriend?"

"Come on, man, it's high school. If Bel - if she had a boyfriend would that have stopped _you_?"

Edward looked over at me. His brows furrowed and then, without turning away from me he said, "Just stay away from Alice. You don't have a chance." Then his eyes were back on Mike, "And for the record, Bella has a boyfriend and you don't have a chance with her, either. Just…stay back!"

Edward took my hand and walked me toward Gym, my final, and least favorite class of the day.

"Why didn't you answer the fly's question about me?" We were just outside the gym's double doors.

He tucked me into a corner between the wall and the lockers' edge where there was just a smidge of privacy. His hands were on my shoulders. "Because he was right, Bella. I would have kissed you even if you had a boyfriend. I wouldn't have been able to stop myself." His voice quieted and his eyes fell to my lips. "Just, like, now." His hands clung to my back, and my arms circled his neck as his lips shot straight to mine. He gave me his tongue and I gave mine right back. We shared our mouths like we were hungry for one another. And then he was kissing my chin and down my neck and behind my ear, his kisses gradually gentling. He took my earlobe between his lips. If my earring stud bothered him, he didn't complain. He drew back slowly until just the very edge of his lips were grazing the very tip of my ear. We were both breathing harder than we should be at school. His fingers in my hair, he pushed it back, kissing all around the edge of my ear, up to the top, and then my temple. Kiss after kiss down to my cheek. And then, his breath tickling my face, he said, "Do you know what a privilege it is to be the first and only guy to kiss you?"

I shook my head. I knew I had it bad for Edward Cullen. I understood Alice's reaction to Mike even more than before. My lips were for Edward's lips alone. "Not me, though. I mean I'm not the only one to kiss you."

"No, but it's never felt the way it does with you. I've never felt like this with anyone before. You are the only person I want to kiss. I'm never going to stop."

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The romance is going to gradually get heavier, so if that sort of thing bothers you, you may want to bring a jar of pickles with you. ;)

Do you like it? Does it need improvement? Please review, my darling readers.


	5. November Hail

**Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. I'm just the uninvited guest swimming in her pool. **

**Thank you readers and reviewers.  
**

**I have to give some special thanks out to: My stalker-wife-woman, Liz for encouraging me to even get this story out there! Picklewinkle for all your help and offering to be my idea bouncer! And AliceDances01 for the awesome rec over at the_gazebo! This stuff keeps the muse with me!  
**

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The Path We Chose

Chapter 5: November Hail

I ran into Emmett and Rosalie on my way to the parking lot to meet Edward after school. It was Friday and I was eager to get to my boyfriend and his lips, but I stopped to say, hello, anyway. I got a really nice glare from Rosalie. Two big football player guys passed us carrying a huge inflated turkey holding an open book and wearing glasses. I wondered where that lovely thing was going to be displayed. I may have asked had I remotely been interested in extra-curricular activities. It distracted Emmett for a second, too. He laughed. I turned back to a still glaring Rosalie and held her gaze for a moment, wondering if her face would soften eventually. It never did so I moved on. It must have hurt her face muscles to hold that expression for so long. Emmett called after me but I ignored him. I was mad at him because his girlfriend was a bitch. He kept calling and I kept ignoring until his huge hand was on my shoulder.

"What?!" I turned around and folded my arms at him, looking up with my best you-have-no-right-to-talk-to-me face. He wasn't a bit intimidated by me.

"Bella, calm down. What's with you? I just wanted to ask you a question. Why are you going all 'Carrie' on me?"

"_Carrie_? Your girlfriend is the scariest person I know and I'm _Carrie_?"

"You bring up a good point. But fear…It's a useless emotion. I'm not even convinced it's real."

"Not real? It feels real whenever I see your girlfriend looking at me like she wants to stick a knife in me." Of course, it started raining, then. Why wouldn't it? I lifted my hood. Emmett didn't have a hood on his jacket. He just stood there letting the rain soak him.

"Think about it. Would you even know what fear was if you didn't learn it? What use is it anyway? If something horrifying is going to happen, it's going to happen. Fearing it won't stop it. Fear probably just makes it worse."

"But sometimes fear can keep you from doing something incredibly stupid or dangerous. Besides, if fear isn't real then neither is happiness or sadness, or any emotion with a counterpart." We were practically yelling at each other, but only because the sound of the rain was drowning our voices.

"Exactly, B."

I shook my head and covered my eyes. "Emmett, are you trying to mind-wrestle me?"

"That wasn't my original intent but you started it."

I wasn't even _about_ to ask him how I started it. "Just. Why don't you take a Philosophy class or something? Leave me out of it."

"I do take Philosophy. No, I really wanted to ask you about college but you are obviously not in the mood. Hey, I'm sorry. I'll talk to Rosalie for you."

"Don't talk to her on my account. I don't want her to know she's getting to me. I have no idea what she has against me or why it even bothers me, but she doesn't need to know she's succeeding."

"Don't worry, I'll tell her she's getting to _me_. She just has her own issues. You're too nice, B. Give her some of her own medicine. She'll respect ya for it. I better get back to her before she stabs _me _with that knife."

He left me staring after him. That was Emmett. Just when you thought he was completely one-dimensional, he pulled a one-eighty and did something unselfish and even kind for you. And I knew as well as he did that Rosalie would not go easy on him when he stood up for me. He'd suggested that I stand up to her myself. I was unsure I had the strength for that. I'd probably cry or something; boy, would she love that. I went to meet Edward. He would turn my mood around. I already felt better just imagining his crooked smile.

* * *

That weekend, at the Cullens', Edward and I, as usual, used cookies to procrastinate from working on our new fake marriage problem. We should have been deciding on which house to buy. There were two to choose from and we were instructed that he wanted one while I wanted the other. We were to come up with a valid argument for each house and turn in a "communication" report explaining which one we chose and why.

We didn't want to do that. Instead, we wanted to sit together on the sofa nibbling sweets and tangling our feet together. Both our milks left rings on the glass coffee table, and since the cookies were 'Oreos', there were little droplets of milk from all the dipping. We were munching in the living room and not making out in the bedroom because Esme was home. We both knew it was only a matter of time before Esme's presence no longer stopped us from heading to his room and locking the door. Eating, after all, does involve lips.

He drove me home after dinner. Esme had knocked on Edward's door to invite me to stay for pasta. We had both jumped away from each other and laughed. I had answered, yes please, through the door, then brought my mouth back to her son.

In front of my house, just outside Edward's car, we were kissing again. My dad was working at the station, pulling a late night. I invited Edward in telling him I really didn't want to be alone. In truth, I really didn't want to be without Edward. His wordless answer came on his lips and tongue. He kissed me all the way up the pathway, and we paused, only so I could unlock the door. Of course, I kept dropping my keys and laughing like I was drunk.

"Hey," Edward said, laughing too, and picked up the keys for me. He unlocked the door without dropping the keys once and then he kissed me right into the house. He kicked the front door closed, still kissing me. We walked and stumbled and bumped ourselves further into the room, still kissing. Lips against lips, tongues rounding tongues, tongues and lips on skin. I pulled him closer by the hem of his shirt and then my hand was under it. Fingers around his waist and up his back and down again. He quivered. Fingers crawling across his stomach and up his chest. He quivered again. It made me laugh against his lips. He didn't laugh. His kisses grew stronger against mine. He kissed my laugh away and ran his fingers under my shirt and up my waist to my ribcage, until I quivered, too and there was no more laughing. The only sounds were breathing and lips. Beautiful sounds that matched every movement.

A deep breath in and my hands were out from under his shirt and reaching up, around his neck, fingers in his hair. I wanted him closer. He breathed out a moan as he took a step, but there was no distance left between us, so all he could do was stumble forward until I was up against the wall, his hands still holding my ribcage. I was against the wall and he was against me and I felt everything against me, especially the clothing that had become so burdensome. I wanted the clothing gone, now. Why did we have to wear clothes, anyway? It's unnatural. Nudity is natural and so much more convenient. "Edward?" I said and then I kissed him some more.

"Yeah?" and then he kissed me some more. I wanted to talk to him, but that would mean breaking the kiss and this kiss did not want to be broken. But he moved the kiss right down my jaw all the way to the back of my neck, his fingers pushing my hair out of his way. I sighed as he kissed down my neck to the bottom of my throat and across my collar bone. His hand pulled aside my burdensome shirt so he could kiss my shoulder. It wasn't until then that I realized my own lips were free to talk. It wasn't until then that I remembered what I wanted to say. "I want to take my clothes off."

And he froze. Right there, lips on my shoulder, fingers still pulling at the top of my shirt. And if I thought I felt him before, I really felt him now. I felt him pressed right up against my stomach. "Bella," his lips said against my shoulder. "You are driving me crazy. I want to rip your clothing to pieces right now, but we have to think about this. Think. I'm going to back away now." He warned me like I might attack him or something. And then he did back away and I wanted him to pull me closer again. Warm me up again, I wanted to say even though I was sweating. "Bella, can you think?"

"Yes," my voice came out on a breath, my eyes on his lips. I could think. I could think about his lips and his hands and his…everything, everywhere on my everything, everywhere. I began playing with one of his hands, tugging at his fingers. I needed his skin.

"Clearly?" he asked. He clasped my hands--rubbed his thumbs over my knuckles.

"Um." Those lips, I wanted them on mine.

He brought his hands to my hair, pushing it back, my head against the wall, until my eyes focused on his. "Bella, do you want me to take off your clothes?"

"Yes?"

"That sounds like a question."

"Take your clothes off first, and then I'll tell you." I started pulling at his shirt as if it was attached by Velcro and would just come right off. When it didn't easily break away, I lifted and he wasn't stopping me, but he wasn't helping me either and the partial sight of his stomach and the little bit of hair there made me lose patience. I started unbuttoning his pants because I didn't need any help with those, just a push and down they would go.

"Bella. Oh my god, Bella." He held an arm out against the wall, holding himself up and another hand came to his forehead. "I can't think."

"You're not supposed to think." I pulled his zipper down then stuck my fingers between the waist band and that's when his fingers wrapped my wrists.

"Bella, if you have to test yourself, you're not ready. I don't think you're ready."

I pulled my hands away, walking out of the room and into the hallway because he was going to make me think and I couldn't think with him there in front of me, his green eyes deep and lustful on my body. God, when he did that I could actually _feel_ his eyes on me and just thinking about it made me shiver.

I stared at the staircase trying to gather my thoughts. Ready. Ready. Was I ready? How do you know when you're ready? How do you _really_ know? Do you feel it? Because a minute ago I felt it. I felt ready just one minute ago. But we'd only been dating for a little over a month. And now…now, I couldn't do it. I couldn't take my clothes off.

"Edward?" I called.

"Yes," he said and it startled me because he was right behind me. I turned to him.

"I'm sorry. I'm not ready." I kind of felt stupid. No, I really felt stupid because I didn't seem to know myself at all or what I wanted. He knew me, but I didn't.

"Don't apologize, Bella. Never apologize for that." His finger traced a line from my throat to my chin and then he lifted my face. "I never want to rush you or pressure you. It has to be right for you to be right for me."

I brought my fingers to touch the lips that said the sweetest words. What do we do now? I wanted to kiss him some more but that would just lead to clothes coming off which we just established I wasn't ready for. So, now what?

He hugged me and I squeezed him tight. He stroked my hair down my back, his face in the crook of my neck where I felt his breath, and that's where he said it. "I love you," he said into my neck.

I pulled back because even though the words felt good right there tickling me, I needed to see his eyes when he said it.

"What?" I held his face. My hold was tight so he couldn't hide himself again. I held him there with his intense stare on mine.

"I love you," he said again and smiled. "I know I do." And it was that smile that did it. It was that smile that called my words forward.

"I love you too, Edward." And we were both smiling. Widely smiling. The kind of huge smile that makes your cheeks hurt but you don't care, you're going to smile anyway.

"Can I hug you now?" he asked because I was still holding his face. His arms were around me before I answered. "Those are the best words I've ever heard," he said.

"Me too," I said. And it almost felt sad that the best words we ever heard happened upon us when we were just seventeen. There were so many years left for us and never would there ever be better words. So we just hugged and basked in our moment of perfect words. Neither one of us wanted to forget the intensity of this moment. I could tell by the way he held me close. I held him just as close to show him I wanted to remember it, too. And we held onto each other like that for a long time. We held each other until my legs were weak from standing on my toes and his back was probably sore from bending over.

We moved to the couch, holding hands, and I leaned back against his chest.

"I'll be ready soon," I said. "It's impossible not to be ready soon."

"Inevitable," he said.

"Are you ready?" I asked him, because I realized I had not once been concerned for him like he was for me. "I mean ready to go all the way," I said, like we belonged in 1954. "Not just take your clothes off, but you know, everything?"

"I've been ready since our first kiss."

"Which first kiss?"

He laughed. "The first, first kiss."

"The one in the classroom?" I turned to look at him.

"You got it."

Wow. Guys and girls really were that different. Well, at least this guy and this girl. And then I thought maybe I wouldn't be his first. We never really talked about that. So I asked him if he'd um...done it before.

He leaned to my ear. "Never before," he said, drawing forth a smile and chills all at once.

"Did you think we would end up like this that first day we were paired in marriage?"

"No. I knew that I liked you and I knew that you were different, but I never knew that feelings like this even existed. What about you?"

"I didn't even think about it at first because I knew you didn't date, at least that was the rumor. But then, at the beach, with the grapes, I wished for it."

"Ah, a wish upon a grape. I'll never underestimate the power of grapes again. Obviously, those rumors about me have since changed."

"Yes, they have." I slipped my fingers through his. "Now that you're dating me, every girl at Forks High thinks they have a chance with you again."

"Nobody has a chance. And I'm not just dating you, I'm loving you." He squeezed my fingers and kissed my head.

"I know." I smiled. "Why didn't you ever date before?"

"It wasn't really a rule or a decision I made. It's just that the girls here, they were competing for me, and their desperation, it just made me cringe. Maybe a lot like you felt when Mike asked you to homecoming. Imagine Mike, then Tyler, then Eric, then Ben asking you out one after the other. Even pushing each other out of the way to talk to you. Wouldn't you just want to get away as fast as you could? Wouldn't you just avoid them at all costs?"

"Yes, I would. But what's different about me?"

"You don't know?" His touch was silk on my face, the backs of his fingers up and down my cheek. "You make me laugh without trying. You don't veil your true self. You don't have to pretend to be smart, you just are. And everything seems quieter when I'm with you. I have never felt like I had to keep up my defenses with you. Around the other girls, I tense up, but with you…I'm calm."

"But the girls are all over you again because of me. It cracks me up, though, when they flirt with you, making fools of themselves. I just think, that's right, he's leaving with me, baby."

He wrapped his arms around me with a squeeze. "Always."

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What do you think? Do you like it? Does it need improvement? Let me know with a review. :)

Reviews are as good as feeling Edward's "I love you" on your neck! (sorry, couldn't resist)


	6. What We Carry

**Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. I'm just the uninvited guest swimming around in her pool. **

**I think I'm spoiling you with two updates a day...you can spoil me with reviews if you want. :)**

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The Path We Chose

Chapter 6: What We Carry

We both heard it. My dad's car out front. Edward had just told me, "Always." As in he would always be with me, and I had to scoot away from him and turn on the TV because my dad was home. In he walked before I even had time to flip the channel, so we were caught at 11:36 watching an infomercial for some weird egg-cooker that nobody could possibly want or need if they had any pans. Yeah, that's not suspicious at all. At least I have my clothes on, I reminded myself.

"Dad," I said. "This is Edward Cullen." Edward stood up to shake my dad's hand.

"Edward, how are you? I've heard a lot about you and your, uh, marriage project." He didn't hear Edward say it was nice to meet him, because my dad interrupted to ask what us kids were watching.

"Um, we were just making fun of this. I mean, who would buy one of these?" I said shutting it off. Out of sight, out of mind, maybe?

"Well, it's almost midnight now, Bella…" My dad said.

"Oh, I should go. It was nice meeting you Chief Swan."

My dad sort of grunted at him and gave him a nod.

I walked Edward to the door with my dad watching, so all I could do was stand on tiptoe to kiss his cheek, but I did get to whisper, "Always," bringing a smile to his face.

"So, your husband is your boyfriend, now?" My dad said once the door was shut. And then he laughed.

"Yes, he is," I said, and somehow, that stopped my dad's laughter right in it's tracks.

"Bella," he said, "Let's sit down."

I sat down, he went to the kitchen for a beer. I heard him clear his throat as he relaxed into his recliner. "Bella." He wasn't looking at me. He was looking past me, at the wall.

"Yeah, Dad?"

"Are you two, uh, you know, being careful?"

"Dad!" His eyes met mine and now it was my turn to look away.

"Answer the question and then I'll let you go." He tugged at his mustache then took a sip of his beer.

"There is no reason for us to be careful right now."

"Atta girl," he said. "Goodnight." I was certainly relieved by that dismissal. I kissed his cheek because, even though he had just made me incredibly uncomfortable, his sentiment was touching. He patted my arm and gave me a half-smile.

I readied myself for bed, climbed in and just opened my book when my phone rang. It was Edward. Instead of saying, hello, he said, "I just wanted to say goodnight."I laughed.

"Goodnight, Edward."

"Goodnight, Isabella." And then we played that game where one tells the other to hang up first. I think every couple has to play that game at some point in their relationship. It's like a relationship rite of passage. Finally we decided to both hang up at the same time, but I only pretended to, and then I was lonely in the silence because he was gone.

* * *

At lunch on Monday, something was very different. Alice was sitting on Jasper which was as normal as ever, but Rosalie and Emmett were sitting far apart from each other. Emmett smiled at me but Rosalie wouldn't even look my direction. I frowned at Alice and she shrugged. Rosalie actually spoke to me a few minutes later.

Edward had just taken a bite of my pizza because I made him. I couldn't understand how he didn't like pepperoni. I held it up to his closed lips. "Take a bite," I said.

He shook his head. "Take off the pepperoni and I will."

"Come on. Maybe it's just been a long time since you tried it. You're going to like it. Just bite. If you don't like it, you can spit it out."

He took a bite and made a disgusted face but swallowed it anyway. I kissed his lips, tasted the spice there with my tongue and kissed again. "Sorry, I really thought you would like it."

"I liked _that_," he said and kissed me again.

"Bella." Rosalie was leaning over the table looking right at me. "We all know Edward is yours. You don't have to put him on display like this. You don't have to control him. He's his own person." Emmett tapped her shoulder but she shrugged him off.

"I-I--" I had no idea what to say. I glanced over at Alice and Jasper. Alice's eyes were averted--everywhere but on us. Jasper was looking at Rosalie. I pulled my hands from Edward's but he took them back.

"Rosalie," he said.

"No, Edward. She's just like the rest of them. Can't you tell? She wants everyone to know you're with _her_." She pointed at me with her long fingernail. "She has you wrapped around her finger and she knows it."

I was gaping at her. What did she just say? I was like the rest of who? Edward stood up. The whole table slid against the linoleum when he did. I felt eyes on us from all around the cafeteria.

"Rosalie. Bella is different. Don't talk about her like that to me! Don't you _ever_ do that. I don't care who the fuck knows I'm with her because I am, with, her." Edward pulled me up. "Come on, Bella."

"Wait..." Rosalie said. "...I'm s--"

"No," Edward cut her off. "We'll talk about this later. There are some things you just don't know. And some things that are none of your business." He took our trays, tossed the rest of our food and stormed toward the exit, me in tow. I glanced back over my shoulder. Alice was still seated at the table while Jasper was standing, talking to Emmett and Rosalie. Emmett had his arm over Rosalie's shoulder and she didn't make any move to try to get away.

"What did she mean?" I asked Edward in the empty hallway--we were early, no one else was there. He put both of his hands on my face. "Don't listen to her, Bella. She doesn't trust you. But I do. Okay? I trust you."

I looked up at him and frowned. Had I given him any reason _not_ to? "Why doesn't Rosalie trust me?"

"She just…she doesn't trust anyone. It has nothing to do with you. It's not you. I promise. Forget about it. She won't talk to you like that again." He kissed me and I let that stop my questions. Even though I wasn't satisfied with the answer, I shut up about it. I planned on asking Alice about it in Health, anyway.

As soon as Mrs. Hines was distracted by her computer screen, which was right after she gave us our classroom assignment, I went to Alice's desk and knelt down beside her. "What's up with Rosalie?"

"Don't worry about her," she said. "She's just being Rosalie."

"Alice. I don't know what that means because I don't know Rosalie at all. She won't even talk to me unless I do something to get on her nerves. She's not that way with you. What does she have against me? Does she have a thing for Edward? Because I thought she and Emmett were--"

Alice laughed. "You are way off, Bella. She thinks of Edward as a brother. They've known each other since they were little. She's just protective, that's all. Don't worry, she'll love you soon enough. You're easy to love." She put her arm around me and gave me a half-hug. I looked over at Jasper who was now sitting next to Alice. Somehow he had convinced Mrs. Hines to let them switch marriage partners. She had seemed so adamant about us not trading partners mid-marriage, but he changed her mind. I figured he must have touched her or something--gave her those warm-fuzzies of his. Jasper was looking back at me; he had obviously heard my conversation with Alice.

"What do you think, Jasper?"

"Me? I think Rosalie is uptight. You're not. Rosalie will come around--just give her time. You two will get along soon enough, just like Alice said." He kissed her cheek like that proved Alice was right. Was I honestly not going to get any information from my friends? Maybe their loyalty lay with Rosalie. It made sense--they'd known her longer. Or maybe there really was nothing more to it. She was just uptight and protective. I had dealt with her this long, I could certainly deal with her until she "warmed" up to me. Whenever that would be.

I returned to my seat next to Edward and told him I wasn't anymore enlightened on Rosalie than I had been before. He took my hand. "You don't stop, do you? I told you. It's Rosalie's problem. Not yours. Don't even worry yourself." I gave up. For now.

We had a new distraction anyway--a new show to watch. The Fly and Jess-ica show. Mike was now blatantly flirting with Jessica and she was playing aloof--that is until Mike seemed to stop. Then she would pull him back in with a wink or an arm rub and the whole ritual would start over again. Edward and I started taking guesses on how many minutes would pass before Jessica's ego needed a stroke again.

We were supposed to be budgeting our money to pay for baby Alec's (that was the name I drew from the hat) formula, diapers, and doctor check ups. Since we had insurance (a plan also drawn from the same hat) we only had to worry about a co-pay. Also, we had chosen the smaller home purchase, so my fake self still hadn't had to give up manicures or therapy, yet.

Instead of writing down dollars and cents, I wrote down, 4. As in four minutes. Edward wrote 10. Three minutes later I saw Jessica kick Mike's chair. I poked Edward and pointed. He shook his head, "That's not flirting."

I kicked his chair and smiled at him to show him that it was, indeed, flirting.

"Okay, you win." he said, looking quickly away because we both knew we couldn't even pretend to flirt. It was hard enough keeping our hands off each other as it was. Although, technically, our hands weren't off each other. Under the desks our fingers were playing together, but we couldn't help that.

"How long until she ignores him again?" I asked.

We both looked at them. They were still smiling at each other, lips moving in whispers. Mike reached up to move a curl off her face.

Edward wrote, 7. I wrote, 20.

"Class will be over before then," he said.

"I think they'll flirt themselves right out of class." But less than five minutes later, Jessica's curly head was facing away from Mike, while she wrote on her own paper. Edward laughed and I shot him a teasing grimace.

Alice leaned back in her chair. "I want you to come over today, Bella."

I looked at Edward.

"Do you need permission?" Alice asked.

"No," I said, "I'll come over."

I looked at Edward again, not because I needed permission but because I needed to overcome my own Edward-separation anxiety.

* * *

Alice was a younger version of her mom. Mrs. Brandon was just slightly taller, and her dark hair, still short, wasn't wispy at the ends like Alice's. Other than that, she still had the same pale skin, dark eyes, and red, smiling lips. She didn't shake my hand when we met. She hugged me.

"Don't try to steal my friend," Alice said and led me away to her room. Her room looked like it hadn't had an update since grade school. Her walls were pink and so was her comforter. She had little porcelain fairies lined up along her dresser, a framed photo behind them. I picked it up.

"Is this you?"

"Yeah, that's me and my dad,."

"You were so cute." She was sitting in a stroller, smiling huge, wearing Minnie Mouse ears on her head. Her dad stood behind her, the Disneyland castle glowing in the background. "I've never been there."

"You're kidding me. But Arizona is so close to California."

"Yeah, but my mom isn't into Amusement parks. She hates crowds, which is ironic since Phil plays ball. I think it's more the lines that get to her. Even at the local fairs she would never want to stand in line."

Alice took the photo from me and looked at it for a minute.

"Where's your dad?"

She put the frame down. "He died when I was six. Two years after that." She pointed to the picture.

"Alice--"

"No, don't worry about it, Bella. I barely knew him. I mean, I don't know if that's better or not, but that's how it is. He was in a car accident on his way home from a company Christmas party. My mom hadn't gone with him. He was with someone else." She sat down on her pink bed and picked up a pillow--played with the ends of it. "He wasn't the most innocent guy. The lady that was with him…she had a concussion, that's all. And she didn't say anything about what happened. But she had to know something, you know? There was no other car involved. Something must have happened to make him run off the road and flip his truck."

"I'm sorry. I had no idea."

"Well, it's not like it comes up in conversation. It's okay. My mom's probably better off without him anyway. Maybe we both are…who knows."

"Maybe we should introduce your mom to my dad."

She laughed. "They already know each other. Your dad is kind of famous around here, you know?"

"Right. Small town."

We sat in silence for a little while. I was the first one to break it. "So, was there anything else you wanted to talk about?"

"What do you mean?"

"Why did you invite me over?"

"Because were friends, goof ball. That's what friends do. Besides, I felt bad about what Rosalie put you through. I don't want you to feel excluded or unwanted or whatever."

"So, this was a pity invite?" I teased her.

"Yes. I pity you so bad. You have to deal with that ass, Edward Cullen everyday. Not only that, but you have to look at him, too. And kiss him. Poor you!"

* * *

Two weeks into the Fly and Jessica show, no matter how ridiculously they behaved, it got old. They were no longer interesting enough to distract Edward and me from one another. We made a mistake. We broke our unspoken rule. We made eye contact. With each other. It wasn't the kind of eye contact where you're assessing how your last statement may have been received. Neither of us had even spoken. It was the kind where your eyes accidentally meet at the same time and then they lock. Edward and I locking eyes in the back of Health class at school, while fingers fingered under the desks? Not a good idea. My lips, I could feel them throbbing for his. I laid the side of my face down on my desk. Maybe some distance would help. I was looking at the wall, but I wasn't seeing it. I was seeing all the kisses shared between Edward and me from the very beginning. And then his face was on his desk, eyes inline with mine again. Our fingers weren't playing under the desks anymore, our hands were just holding. I inched my face just a little bit closer to his and then he inched his just a little bit closer to mine and when all that was between us was the crack where our desks met, we could no longer hold back. We were kissing, heads on desks, in Health class. His hand let go of mine and held my neck and my face. My hand let go of his and pulled on his shoulder. Our breathing picked up and we parted at the same time.

I scanned the room. First, Mrs. Hines--she was clicking away at the laptop on her desk, updating her blog, or surfing the net, no doubt. Then, the rest of the class--no one seemed to be aware of us. Except Alice. She was looking back in her seat, with a hand over her mouth trying to suppress her laughter. Jasper faced her, his eyebrows raising in question. I hid my face in my hands. Luckily it was only Alice who had noticed, though.

"This is dangerous," Edward whispered, his breath on my cheek.

Why couldn't I just crawl into his lap right then? Why did it have to matter that we were in class, in school, surrounded by people? But it did.

The bell rang and neither I nor Edward moved. Alice stood and turned to us and this time didn't even try to suppress her laughter. Jasper kept asking her what was funny but she couldn't calm herself enough to answer him. That was frustrating for me, too, because I was curious about how much she had seen. Had she just seen the kiss or had she witnessed our struggle before the kiss, as well?

"Don't worry about it, J," Edward said, which only made Alice laugh harder. "Come on." Edward tugged at my sleeve.

He walked me to gym. We weren't touching. Just outside the double doors, I gestured with my finger for him to bring his face closer. I whispered in his ear, "I want you to come over tonight." He pulled back to look at my face. "I'm ready for you," I said, and it wasn't a whisper. My heart was pounding against my chest. I took a deep breath.

"Bella."

"I am."

"Bella, you can't say something like that when I have another class after this."

"Too late, I already said it. Come over at 10:00. Chief Swan is working the late shift. He won't be home until morning." I reached up to kiss him, but he only pecked my cheek. "What?"

"I can't," he said. "Not now. Not after that. It's too much. I'll kiss you tonight. You don't even know what you've done to me, Bella."

He was right. I didn't know. I had no experience but I was pretty sure what ever it was I had done to him…he had liked it.

* * *

Sooo, what do you think? Interesting? Needs improvement? Let me know with a review, please.

Tonight, I made a huge mess on my kitchen floor because I'm such a klutz, and I realized--as my husband made fun of me--that's one thing I have in common with Bella.

(I didn't tell him that Edward would have cleaned the mess up for Bella.) J/K Do you have anything in common with Bella or any of the other characters??


	7. The Sound of Love

**Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. I'm just the uninvited guest swimming around in her pool.**

**Not to give too much away, but yeah, this chapter is NC-17!**

**

* * *

**The Path We Chose

Chapter 7: The Sound of Love

I took a shower before Edward came over. I took a shower and shaved and then I blew dry my hair because I didn't want him to _know_ I'd showered. I wanted him to think I was always this clean. Wrapped in a towel, I sifted through my underwear drawer. Choosing underwear was difficult. I didn't have anything close to what I'd seen in lingerie catalogs--no silk, satin or lace. I thought that bra and panties were better matching than un-matching so I chose the black cotton set. It was the sexiest thing available to me--I had no better choice. I dressed in regular clothes because, as eager as I was, I didn't want to seem too eager.

I cleaned my room, picked the clothes up off the floor, smoothed my bed, and hid the teddy bear in the closet. And then I sat--anxious and nervous and chewing on my nails--in the living room, waiting for Edward. My stomach felt oddly empty even though I'd eaten dinner only hours earlier with my dad.

Edward knocked on my door at 10:01. The second I saw him looking at me with his beautiful green eyes, I wanted to kiss him but I felt strangely insecure. It wasn't like other times when everything was spontaneous. Now our minds were involved leaving us all awkward with each other. I moved aside and he stepped in. We hadn't touched or spoken yet, which was also strange. My palms were sweaty and my heart did that pounding thing again. I brought a hand to my chest. Maybe that would calm it down.

"Hey," he said.

"Hi. Do you w-want a drink or something?" I headed toward the kitchen.

"No, thank you."

"No?" I turned toward him.

"No." His eyes were on mine and he stepped forward. The backs of his fingers brushed my jaw, then his hand was behind my neck, pulling me toward him, and poof, awkwardness gone, yearning, all-present.

Edward began the kiss very slow, deliberately slow. I felt his tongue just barely leave his lips to enter my mouth. I brought my tongue to his and tried to entice him to enter my mouth further, but he was very controlled. Making him lose his control became my challenge. My arms circled his neck, fingers in his hair, guiding him closer to me. Deepen the kiss, I willed. But still he moved so slow, so gentle. It was excruciating. I pulled back and looked at him. His eyes opened and I gave him a small smile, and he leaned toward me. I let our lips touch but then I pulled back again. And again his eyes opened. His lips searched mine and I allowed him just the tip of my tongue before I pulled away a third time. This time, his eyes didn't open. This time, his lips didn't slowly search mine. They crashed into mine on a deep breath, giving me everything I needed. I melted against his body, his arms around my back holding me up. Both of us were breathing hard and pulling on each other. His hands felt their way up my sides and over my breasts, thumbs teasing until I had that overwhelming feeling to remove my clothing again.

"Edward?"

He pulled his hands away. "Do you want me to stop?" I barely heard him, he was so out of breath.

"I think we should go to my room." He followed me upstairs and I locked the door, just in case.

I turned to him, lifted his shirt off and slid my fingers from his shoulders down his his chest, and roamed his stomach. He felt smooth and soft, yet firm at the same time. I moved my hands around his back and hugged him. "You should never wear shirts," I said.

He hugged me back. "Nor should you." His fingers hooked under the back of my shirt and he peered down at me like he was waiting for my permission.

"Go ahead," I told him and took a step away from him.

His hands gripped my sides, just under my shirt and pushed their way up my body, moving the shirt along, too. I raised my arms and he continued his trail up, lifting my shirt and drifting over my elbows all the way to my wrists until the shirt was on the floor and his hands were in mine. He brought our arms back down to our sides and grazed his fingertips up the back of my arms to my shoulders. I closed my eyes and the feeling grew stronger. His hands were on either side of my neck making their way down my chest, over my bra, then down my stomach and I took in a breath, my heart racing. He unbuttoned my jeans and pushed them down over my hips, down my legs, his fingers still trailing along my skin. His hands did not leave my body with each article of clothing he removed; he just kept feeling me.

I stepped out of my jeans and he traced the insides of my legs now. It was getting too intense; I thought I might collapse. I put my hands on his shoulders to keep myself up, and when I felt his skin I couldn't fathom how I had ever had my hands off of him. I knelt down to the floor because I could no longer stand. I felt his biceps under my hands and I wanted to kiss them, so I did. Kissed them over and over. His hands moved around my back to unhook my bra. He did it with such ease that it made me wonder if he hadn't done it before. Those thoughts, along with any other coherent thoughts where gone as he pulled it off my arms, still touching me all the while. His eyes scanned my body and I averted my eyes. "Look at me," he said, so I did. "There you are."

He lifted me up, placing me on the bed and hovered above me. And then something occurred to me for the first time. "Did you bring…?"

He leaned to one side, reached into his pocket, pulled out a string of condoms, and smirked at me. There must have been six. I wondered how they even fit in his front pocket. That made me laugh. But then he was on top of me again and I was beneath him, stomach to stomach. I touched his face and his lips came down on mine and we kissed with all the desire and want that had been building for so long. I reached between us to undo his jeans and I nudged at them. He laughed a little and removed them for me and then he removed what little remained of our clothing--his boxers and my panties.

We continued to explore further with fingers and kisses and tongues and our breaths were ragged and blending together until they were indistinguishable--melding into one breath. It felt just as good to touch him as it felt whenever he touched me. It was too much. Too much. I needed more. I lifted my legs and wrapped them around him. I wanted all of him.

He was hovering over me, and I really wanted to feel his chest on mine but I couldn't say that. My legs were wrapped around him and he was right there about to enter.

"Are you ready?" he asked.

I nodded.

"Are you sure?"

I nodded again.

"Bella, I need to hear it."

"I'm ready, I'm sure," I said and it all came out in one quick breath. He tore open the condom wrapper but I didn't watch him put it on. I looked at his face instead. His hair fell just a little bit toward his eyes and his face had this sheen about it that I was drawn to touch. Then I felt him pressing against me and I squeezed my eyes and made a light squeal sound. It sounded a bit like a mosquito buzzing, very quiet, but still there.

"Bella? Are you okay?"

"Yes."

I felt him push in just a little and I squeezed my eyes and made that high pitched sound again.

"Bella, please, we don't have to. I can just…go take a shower."

"I'm sorry, Edward. I want to. I'm fine, really. I'm just nervous about the pain, that's all. I'm not nervous about you, or this, or anything. You, you're perfect. But the pain--It's the anticipation. Just go ahead. Show me how much you love me."

"I will, but look at me or something. Try to relax. I know it's going to hurt you but if I'm going to do this, I have to pretend it's not that bad. When you make that face and that noise it seems like it hurts bad and I can't do it. God, I can't hurt you. I do love you," he kissed my face. " I love you so much."

"Show me."

He kissed me softly, my lips, the corner of my mouth, my jaw, under my ear, and I felt his chest on mine and it was right so I held him there. And then he was in and it did hurt. My legs tensed around him and I may have squeezed my eyes, but I didn't make a sound. In fact, I think I held my breath.

"Okay?" His voice was in my ear, less than a whisper.

"Yes." And then he was moving. And this was sex and making love, Edward and I, one. After the pain subsided, it felt like nothing I had ever felt before and I wondered why anybody ever stopped this. Why would anyone in their right mind ever stop or be too tired or have a headache too bad not to do this, to feel this. It was like music; fingers on a piano; a pick strumming a guitar; a voice flowing with lyrics. Melodic. And one necessary for the other. Edward moaned and quivered on top of me and dropped into my arms. I held him close and caressed his back up and down. "I love your skin."

"I love your skin, too," he said through heavy breaths. And he kissed me all over my skin to show me every last inch he loved.

Then he lay down and brought me with him, my head against his chest. My head rose with his breathing and I listened to his heartbeat.

He kissed my forehead, "I'll be right back." He left my room and went into the bathroom and I watched him the whole time. When he was out of site I just looked at the open doorway until he was there again and my eyes followed his every move as he came back to me.

"Do you feel alright? Are you sore?" He was lying with me again and he kissed me and it was like he never left.

"I feel loved and lucky and wonderful and sleepy." I held onto his waist and tucked myself right against his side where my curves fit his. "Did I bleed?" I was immediately embarrassed after I asked the question and hoped he would say no.

"A little. I saw it on the condom." I closed my eyes.

"I need to bathe but all I want to do is lie here with you right now." His arms enveloped me like he was swallowing me with his body.

"Good," he said. "This is so comfortable."

"I know. I call this bed my cloud"

"It is a cloud, but I meant you." He ran his fingers down my side, over my waist to my hips and back again. It gave me chills. "Nothing more comfortable than this body, right here."

We both fell asleep, skin against skin in my cloud of a bed. Sleep was unavoidable, but hot. I awoke and kicked off the covers. Edward didn't seem to mind--he hadn't moved an inch. I wanted to kiss him but didn't want to wake him so I kept my lips to myself. I felt all sticky and decided to shower. Maneuvering myself out from under his draping arm wasn't easy. It was heavy and I was slow and careful. In the shower, I did see a little bit of blood on my thigh. Bye-Bye virginity, I thought while it washed away, down the drain.

"There you are," Edward said when I returned to my bedroom wrapped in two towels, one around my body and the other around my head.

"You said that earlier," I said, and he smiled at the memory.

"You look cute."

"You look sexy." I could say it and mean it because now I knew exactly what sexy looked like. Before tonight, I only speculated, but tonight I really saw it.

"How do you feel?"

"Glad that you didn't stop." I sat down next to him but he wasn't having any distance between us and pulled me tight to him.

"Me too. You don't even know." He kissed the curve of my neck right where it met my shoulder. "I know I played it down, but if we had to stop, that would have been…so painful. If I had pulled that off I would have deserved some sort of self-control medal."

"You liked it, then?"

"You have no idea how much."

"I think I have an idea," I smiled at him. "Again?"

He pulled both my towels off and placed himself on top of me without a word and covered my skin with kisses. I loved when he answered my questions with kisses. He lifted my arms over my head, holding them against the pillow, kissing his way up my chest and across to my armpit. I pulled my arm down and laughed. His lips roamed my shoulder, my neck, my collar bone, my breasts and then back to my eager mouth.

"Bella," he kept whispering between kisses. "Bella. Bella. Beautiful Bella."

And, Oh, my, god, I had never loved my name more than that moment--hearing it and feeling it at the same time. I was sure that from then on, whenever I would hear my name from his lips, _I_ would deserve that self-control medal for not pouncing on him wherever we happened to be.

If I had thought our first time was good, the second time was just…indescribable.

There was no longer any pain, only pleasure, complete pleasure. No. Pleasure is not even a strong enough word for what I felt. The first time may have ended in love and change, and the most extreme closeness. The second time ended in some sort of explosion of white. Whiteness all around me like I was floating. I actually felt like I was floating out of my body. I wanted to know if that's what he felt, too, but I couldn't talk yet. I was frozen underneath his hot and heaving body. He rolled off of me and I followed, squirming to stay close to him. He hugged me and his hand pulled my leg over him, and this time, I may have said out loud, "Why would anybody ever stop?"

In that moment, I knew that Edward was it for me. He was the first and the last. It seemed crazy, but it was fact.

We lay awake but in silence, tangling our fingers together until I got chatty. "Did you know I'm scared of dogs?"

"No."

"Well, I am. My grandma loved dogs. She had this Bulldog that liked to tackle me and with my 'amazing' balance, it wasn't hard. Outside, in her yard, the dog jumped on me and we rolled down the hill together. I was scared out of my mind that the thing was going to eat me and my grandma thought it was the funniest, cutest thing. He didn't try to eat me but he did slobber all over me. Later she got this tiny Jack Russell, but never trained it--so you'd go to pet it and it would snap at you. That dog bit my hand. I still have the scar. See?"

He took my hand and laughed. "I don't see anything."

"That's because it's dark, but it's right there." I pointed to my palm and he kissed it.

"When I was little," he said, "I was afraid of the squirrels that lived outside my house every spring."

I pushed against his chest. "Don't make fun of me."

"I'm serious. The way they scurried all over the place and up trees--it creeped me out. I went through this phase where I would race from the car into the house and shut the door before they could sneak passed me. My dad was embarrassed. He kept telling me that the squirrels wouldn't come near us, that they were scared, too. But I knew he was wrong."

All I could do was laugh.

"Hey. Stop laughing."

I tried to stop but it only got worse. I was shaking with laughter; I could barely breathe.

"I was only four," he said. "I'm never telling you anything again."

"Tell me."

"Nope--nothing."

"I'm sorry. I want to know more. What else were you afraid of?"

"Not telling."

"Rabbits?...birds?...butterflies?!" And then we were both laughing. He rolled on top of me and kissed my neck in the same spot over and over.

We cuddled up together until 4:25 because he had to go. Neither of us wanted him to go but he _had_ to because my dad was due home at 5:00. We spent every remaining minute we had together kissing.

"Don't get up," he said. Then he searched in the dark for his clothes. I watched him dress.

"No shirt," I said and he laughed because he thought I was kidding. "No shirt," I said again, "until you're out of my room." He came over to give me one last kiss goodnight and I got to touch his chest again and his arms and his…

"Bella, be careful, or I won't be able to leave."

"You better not say my name like that or I won't let you leave."

"Your name like what?"

"With your voice."

He gave me one of those half smiles. I kissed the corner of his smile and held onto his hand as he backed toward the door until I could no longer reach him. Fingertips to fingertips were the last to touch before my hand dropped to the bed. "You're my love," he said.

"And you're mine."

* * *

I hope you enjoyed.

Did you like? Dislike? Please let me know with a review.


	8. For Whom the Mind Melds

**Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. I'm just the uninvited guest swimming in her pool.**

**

* * *

**The Path We Chose

Chapter 8: For Whom The Mind Melds

If I thought things were different after our first kiss, it was nothing compared to this. Not only was it hard not to touch whenever we were near, but even when we weren't together I wanted to touch him. For the next few weeks after our first time, every time we were alone together, I made him take off his shirt. It just couldn't be there. As soft as cotton is, it's nothing compared to Edward's skin. And I couldn't imagine a more beautiful vision than the way his chest moved when he breathed. It got to the point where we would enter his room or my room and once the door was closed, he just took off his shirt. I didn't even have to ask him anymore. Sometimes he would have to make me promise not to touch him, though. Like now, in his room, when we were studying for finals. If I touched him, it inevitably turned into more, which turned into even more, which turned into everything.

"Just, put it back on or I _am_ going to touch you. This is impossible."

He laughed. "I can't imagine it's any worse than if you were without a top right now. I just couldn't torture myself like that. You're like a masochist." He put his shirt back on, navy blue and tight--I could see the outline of his chest as he stood in front of his desk. The fact that his shirt wasn't transparent was all that helped my self-control.

But now I could at least half-concentrate on my History text. He was sitting at his desk bent over a book and I was sitting on his floor, my back against the bed with my book in my lap. Neither one of us could actually be _on_ the bed while studying. And we couldn't be too close to each other…or facing. We had way too many rules for being alone together, but we were determined to keep our grades up.

The type in my History book started blending together. I couldn't read anymore and looked up, out the window. "It's snowing." I went to the window by Edward's desk. The tree branches were draped in white. "It's so beautiful." I turned to Edward, still seated at his desk, looking at me. "You have the best room ever."

He came up behind me, wrapped his arms around my waist, and kissed the side of my neck, then licked. "Edward. Your mom is downstairs."

"But you're right here."

"We promised each other we would study. You may be able to ace all your AP classes without studying, but I can't. I have to work for my grades."

"You're the smartest person I know."

"Emmett is the smartest person you know."

"He's a different kind of smart. Besides, haven't you been studying right over there by my bed?"

"Yes."

"And how's that been working out for ya?" He planted light kisses along my jaw and I laughed. Then I turned around and kissed him back because I couldn't resist anymore. When he moved the kisses along my cheek toward my ear I asked, "Are you sure you want to take it there with your mom home?"

"I really wish you would stop mentioning my mom." His breath was in my ear and I was done for. It was now up to him to be, or not be, the responsible one. He opted for responsibility and pulled away. "Let's decorate the Christmas tree."

"You will do anything to get out of studying."

"No, I just have to get us out of my room or something _is_ going to happen."

I agreed to decorate the tree with him because the tree my dad brought home was only three feet tall and the branches weren't even strong enough to hold ornaments. I had to tie construction-paper stars to it. I'd made my reluctant dad help me cut out the stars and tie them on with me so that maybe next year he would buy a stronger tree and actual ornaments. The Cullens' tree may have been fake and brought down from the attic, but at least it could hold a plethora of colorful glass ornaments. Another reason I agreed to decorate the tree was that Edward promised to quiz me on the American Revolution and societal changes. Yes, that did take some of the fun out of it.

* * *

At school, it seemed the general population of Forks High was finally getting used to Edward and me. Fewer eyes were ogling us. Jessica and Lauren were not part of the general population. They cornered me in the bathroom on the last day of the semester. (I, at that moment, resolved myself from ever going to the bathroom at school again.) I heard my name just as I was about to enter the bathroom stall. Walking toward me, the two Heathers backed me right up against the white tile wall. It was cold against my arms, even through my sleeves. Jessica thought she would be so kind as to let me know that my relationship with Edward was doomed. Yes, she used the word doomed like she was in a sci-fi special. I was slightly surprised that her voice didn't get all loud and deep and booming when she said it.

Lauren, though she had never stooped to my level for a chitchat before, also felt the need to warn me, "friend to friend," for my own good. She told me with her shiny pink lips that Edward was a teenage boy and would get over me soon enough. I wouldn't stand a chance next to the line-up of girls ready to pounce on him--herself included. I wanted to let her know that it was perfect the way she likened herself to a cat, but I knew the only word she would hear was, "perfect."

"Look at yourself," Jessica said. "You don't even make yourself pretty for him." She twirled a tendril around her finger like the word "pretty" reminded her of her hair.

Okay, that statement, I am embarrassed to say, did make my eyes dampen, but there was no way in hell I would give her the satisfaction of tears. I blinked and swallowed and they were gone.

I couldn't wear makeup. I had tried before, but I always felt like a clown in it. Other girls looked pretty, but not me. I felt more like a drag-queen or Tammy Faye Baker when I tried to wear makeup (Tammy's blond, mascara-dripping days). Plus, it made my skin feel weird and chalky--I couldn't stand it. Once I tried to wear makeup to school back in Phoenix, and I just ended up washing it off in the bathroom. The most I could stand was lip gloss, and sometimes, a little mascara.

Lauren and Jessica telling me I wasn't good enough for Edward, I could take. I even kind of understood where they were coming from. Beautiful girls that try so hard with Edward Cullen can't land him, but regular, everyday new-girl who doesn't try at all gets him after only knowing him for a month. I could take all this from these girls or anyone else--I just didn't want _him _to hear it. I wanted him to see me through his eyes, not the way people like Jessica and Lauren saw me. It wasn't that I thought it would change his mind at all. It would just humiliate me if he knew others thought I wasn't good enough for him. Lucky for me, I didn't think Jessica or Lauren had the nerve to insult me in front of him. They saw, just like everyone else, how tightly Edward held onto me all the time. They might flirt with him like floozies in a brothel and him, the only man--but the insults, they would save those for when I was alone. I could accept that.

"Jessica, I have never 'made myself pretty' as you say, yet he kisses me anyway. He wants to be with me, anyway. He tells me I'm beautiful, anyway." I left out that he told me I was beautiful while kissing my lips in my bedroom, and kissing my stomach on my bed, and kissing the arch of my foot on his bed. "If our relationship doesn't work out," I said, "the reason will never be because I am not pretty enough." I wanted to add that I did not feel threatened by them, but I knew they would only see that as a challenge. I'd seen first hand how much Jessica, alone, enjoyed a challenge. It was relentless, the way she went after Edward as it was. And before him, Jasper, regardless of how creatively he turned her down. I'd heard Jasper tell her, I'd rather wash my dog. The following day she started carrying her tiny accessory dog in her purse until the principal sent her home. On another occasion, Jasper had told her, I only like girls who aren't afraid to wear tie-dye, and of course she started wearing tie-dyed t-shirts, tied high at the waist to show off her flat stomach.

Jessica and Lauren just stared at me in the bathroom trying to come up with another insult that might knock my sorry ass down. I gave them a couple of minutes, then left them there. I walked out of the bathroom smiling, even though I never actually used the toilet and still had to go.

In my Literature class, we were studying American writers. I don't know if I was still on a high from my showdown with the two Heathers or if it was because I still had to pee, or if it really was because I truly disagreed with Rosalie, but she said something ridiculous so I had to step in. She'd been talking about some author. I wasn't really paying attention, having been distracted by my full bladder. What I heard was: "…unlike Hemingway, who is far from the genius people claim him to be." My head shot up as she was looking around for someone to take her on. She knew exactly what she was doing. In that moment, I saw just how perfect she and Emmett were for each other. She pushed her blond hair off her shoulder and shook her head with her nose in the air. It seemed like a natural girlish gesture, just shaking the hair out of her face, but I saw it for what it was…conceit. She was done talking. She was waiting for someone to bite her bait. What I didn't know was that she hadn't expected the argument to focus on Hemingway. Since the meat of her comment went unheard by me, Hemingway was what she got.

"Have you _read_ Hemingway?" I asked.

"Of course I've read that narcissistic misogynist."

I had studied Hemingway last year and after that comment, I knew I could take her on. I cleared my throat to make way for my best I-know-what-I'm-talking-about voice. "I can see that your preconceived notions of Hemingway are getting in the way of really reading his work. You can't just focus on his story content to see his genius, you have too look at his style."

"But if you're going to label someone a genius, how can you overlook substance? He would not want you to overlook his story content, anyway. He wrote with an agenda." She looked away from me like the conversation was over.

"See, you're adding your opinion of Hemingway's person to his writing. He was a realist; he even said it is the writer's job to tell the truth. Maybe he had an agenda. Or maybe he was simply sharing his version of truth. It's hard to be certain because of his ability to take what is real and brew it into fiction so convincing, many readers do not differentiate between Hemingway himself and his art. Anyway, I'm not saying you should overlook his substance, but to just take a look at his style. His writing style is simplistic, but very weighted at the same time. That is not easy. "

"Example?"

I would have explained all the weight held in his famous, simple sentence, _He was dead and that was all_, had Mrs. Salazar not interrupted us.

"Okay girls," she said, removing her glasses and pressing her fingers into her tightly shut eyes as if her eyes hurt her. Her white hair was cut so close to her head, I might have thought she had shaved it and was now growing it out if she hadn't worn that same style since the first day of school. "Let's get back on track, we were focusing on Fitzgerald…"

After class I raced to the bathroom, the very place I had vowed never to return again only an hour earlier. I entered carefully looking every direction, even behind me, then ran right into the stall. I barely got my pants down fast enough because, apparently you can hold your pee in for over an hour by just jiggling, but when you're next to the toilet it is virtually impossible to hold out any longer. After my welcomed relief, I ran into Alice on my way to the cafeteria.

"Bella, where were you? Edward's looking for you."

"I just had to go to the bathroom. Where is he?"

"He's in the cafeteria, at our table, and he keeps looking for your entrance," she laughed. "Sometimes, I swear, it's like he's afraid you're going to disappear." We walked together until I stopped just outside the double doors, other kids swiftly moving past us to satisfy their growling tummies.

"Alice, how do you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Get through the day without, you know…" I had to whisper it, "…jumping Jasper's bones. You know, after you, you know."

"You and Edward?!"

"Shh! Shh!" I waved a hand at her.

"Sorry, I can't help you, Bells, Jasper and I, we haven't--"

"Seriously?! But I thought--he's always got his hands all over you."

"I make him touch me," she said. "Have you ever felt him?"

"He's so warm. How does he do that?"

"Magic."

I looked at her. That was no explanation. She thought she was in a fairytale or something. I think I frowned.

"I'm kidding. No, his body temperature runs slightly higher than average. It's not too hot, but enough to feel good, especially on a cold day. His mom used to take him to see doctors, but they all insisted nothing was wrong. It's just normal for Jasper."

"What about the other thing, though?"

"The calming nature?"

"Exactly."

"I'm not sure. I have a theory though. I think it has to do with the fact that he is completely unselfish. I don't think he has a selfish vein running through him. If you believe in energy--that, paired with his warmth--what we're probably feeling is his pure empathy. He doesn't want anyone to hurt. Not even an ant. Once, outside my house he accidentally stepped on a flower. He was on the ground, lifting the flower up before I even knew what he had done. He asked me for a glass of water and he gave it a drink. I think when he touches people, he passes that energy on."

"Yeah, it's subtle at first, but then when it happens every time it gets really eerie."

"Tell me about it. Emmett can't stand it. You know he's a facts guy; he doesn't like anything he can't explain."

"But how can you not, Alice? I mean how can you not do it when he's making you feel all warm and fuzzy?" I ignored the fact that I could _do_ the act but I had trouble saying the actual word, sex. Alice had no trouble at all, she said it loud and clear, and I do mean loud.

"We're waiting. I am not having sex before marriage."

"Shh." I swear this girl thought we were alone. "Are you serious?" I whispered, hoping she would catch on.

"Nope. It's how my mom raised me." I decided she didn't know how to whisper. I would have to remember that.

"Aw, Alice, you're magic, too."

"I know." She gave me her nose-crinkle. She did know. I wanted to ruffle her hair because she was so darn cute, but she would probably get mad at me for messing it up.

I peeked my head through the cafeteria door. Edward was looking right at me and he lifted his arms in question.

I tugged on Alice's hand because Edward was emotionally tugging on me from all the way across the room. Edward and I had a little magic of our own. I walked right into his arms and Alice went to Jasper. My head rested against Edward's shoulder as I watched Alice pick up Jasper's arms one by one and wrap them around her. He smiled and kissed the crown of her head. It was sweet the way he had to lean way down to do that.

I snuck a glance over at Jessica's table hoping she would be paying no mind to me. But she was looking right at me. I turned away wondering what it would take to get her to leave me alone. The feeling of her eyes on me had me so distracted that I barely took note when Rosalie said, "Hey, Bella."

"Hi, Rosalie." And then my head shot up at her for the second time that day. She had never said hello to me before. Not even when Edward first introduced us.

"Can you come here for a minute?"

Had she just _asked_ me to come to her, not command it? I walked around the table to where she was standing. Everyone at our table was watching this new Bella/Rosalie interaction.

She bent down because she was much taller than me, especially in her heels. "How did you do that today in class? Hemingway isn't even on the syllabus. How did you answer like that without even pausing to think about it?"

"What, you think you're the only one who can do that?"

She folded her arms, arched her back and raised an eyebrow at me. "Fine," I said. "I wrote an expository paper on him last year. You struck a nerve, that's it. Mystery solved."

"Good job," she said, relaxing out of her I'm-tougher-than-you stance. "I think you really knocked Mrs. Salazar on her ass. Her head was spinning." Then we laughed. Rosalie and I laughed. Together. The rest of our friends were still gaping at us and when my eyes met Rosalie's again, she was staring down at me. For a second, I was afraid her scowl would return. "I'm going to read Hemingway again and I'll let you know if I agree with you or not."

"Read _The Sun Also Rises_," I told her because I remembered that one having a strong female character.

"Wait a second. Hold the fuckin' ghost," Emmett said. "Did I hear that correctly? B, you just took on Rosalie and won?"

"Don't get any ideas. I'm not playing your mind game, my head hurts enough already. You don't even know what I've been through today. First Jessica and Lauren in the bathroom, then Rosalie and Alice," Alice's eyes widened and I shook my head letting her know I wasn't going to spill. I didn't know why she was worried, though, it wasn't like she had been quiet at all about it outside the cafeteria as student after student had passed us by. "I can't take you on too, Emmett."

"Hey, don't jump to conclusions, B. I was just congratulating you."

"What about Jessica and Lauren?" Edward said.

"It's nothing." I went to him and sat on his lap. "Please, I don't want to talk about it."

He nodded and rubbed my back. I put an arm around his neck and bit into my sandwich. I hoped it didn't bother him that my crumbs were falling on his shirt.

* * *

((Emmett's comment, "hold the...ghost" is in reference to an Abbott and Costello move titled: "Hold That Ghost". I know, totally obscure, but that's Emmett for you.))

I love all my readers and faithful reviewers, but I know more of you can do it. Review, please... :)


	9. Candlelight

**Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight. I'm just an uninvited guest swimming in her pool.**

**This chapter is rated NC-17!!**

* * *

The Path We Chose

Chapter 9: Candlelight

The six of us lit candles around Edward's living room on New Year's Eve. We needed them. The electricity had been flickering on and off and then, just after 11:00, it went out completely. Carlisle and Esme left for a party in Seattle well before we lost the electricity. They wouldn't be home until the following day. They knew we were all here. They didn't know Jasper had brought champagne and it was chilling in their refrigerator.

"Bella," Alice said, "is it safe for you to play with fire? What if you trip or drop the match?" And then she laughed at her own joke and Jasper laughed at how "cute" she was.

"I think I can handle lighting a candle without burning down the house, thank you very much." But then all eyes were on me like I needed to prove it and I got nervous and couldn't even light the match. I kept flicking it on the back of the match book, and nothing. I went through three matches and listened to growing snickers around the room before I finally lit it. Then there was clapping.

I couldn't look at anybody but Edward and he was looking at me, too, from the other side of the room as he lit the last candle. I ignored the fact that he hadn't so much as glanced at the match as he lit it.

Emmet pulled Rosalie down next to him on the sofa, not an inch between them. "Edward, man," Emmett said, "you know, we haven't talked in a while, I thought--"

"I am not talking politics with you tonight," Edward said, still looking at me.

"That's not what I meant, and you know it." I saw Edward's eyes flash to Emmett.

"Come on," Rosalie said, her hand on Emmett's knee, easily distracting him from Edward. "Can't you think of anything else to do on New Year's eve rather than playing with our minds?"

"Hmm," he said. "I can think of something." He brushed the hair off her shoulder, sweeping his fingers over her neck. "How about I talk politics all over your body?" Then he whispered something in her ear that made her close her eyes. He kissed her neck and I laughed and looked away.

Alice and Jasper were now standing in front of the big window gazing out at the falling snow--his arm around her hip and her head resting against his chest.

Edward came to my side and whispered in my ear, too. "Three…two…one." That's when Emmett and Rosalie stood up at the same time and headed for the stairs. "Stay out of my room!" Edward yelled after them.

"Let's go outside," Jasper said to Alice.

"It's too cold."

"Come on. Just for a minute. I'll keep you warm." She couldn't argue with that. They grabbed their coats and went outside, not saying a word to us. It was like they completely forgot anyone else was here.

Now alone with Edward, I took his hand and wandered over to the piano, pressing a few of the high keys. "Play," I said.

"Not tonight." He shook his head.

"Come on, you said you would play for me sometime."

"Bella, I'm really not that good."

"But your mom said…"

"I had the potential. I didn't have enough lessons. I wasn't able to learn much and what I do know, I pretty much taught myself."

"Just play. I don't care what it is. Play something simple. Chopsticks if you want. Just play." I brought a hand to his chest, stood on my tiptoes, kissed him. Maybe it was a manipulative move, maybe not, because I really did need to kiss him. His lips had been moving in a slight, embarrassed smile when he spoke--I needed those lips.

He gave a short laugh, sat on the bench and played. He played _Mary Had a Little Lamb _with just three fingers at first, but then he added chords with his left hand, and his right hand began moving up the piano, faster, adding new notes to the song, still keeping in the melody of the children's song. He stopped before he finished. "I don't know. I changed it," he shrugged.

"You fixed it," I said. He turned, smiled up at me and played with my fingers. "You should take lessons again. You have talent."

"Someday. Maybe."

"Someday? Maybe? What about at school?"

"There's not time in my schedule. I--"

"Time for champagne!" Jasper said, standing behind us with a shivering Alice. His arm was around her, yet she was still shivering. Apparently, he couldn't quite work miracles after all. "It's after 11:30."

He and Edward went to the kitchen as I pulled Alice toward the sofa, took her jacket off for her and wrapped the Chenille throw blanket around her. I rubbed her arms. "You're ice cold," I said. I curled up next to her, trying to warm her with my body heat. She stared at me.

"What?"

"You and Edward. Did you even know Jasper and I were back? We were in here for at least five minutes before Jasper said anything. We saw Edward playing, we saw you talking about something. Did you even hear us come in? We weren't even quiet."

"I didn't know."

She laughed and shook her head like she couldn't believe it. "You and Edward are so intense. Sometimes it's hard to be in the same room with the two for you."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know. It's like you're always staring at each other, even when you're on opposite ends of the room. And even if you're speaking to someone else. Intense." She nodded like she was agreeing with herself. Like that was the perfect word to describe us.

That's when I really looked at Alice and noticed how different she looked. Her hair had grown out some and was shaped more like a bob now. She appeared more mature, and with her full, red lips, she looked gorgeous, and…sultry. I reached up and tucked some hair behind her ear because she was so beautiful I had to touch her. The change had been a gradual one and since I saw her everyday it was no wonder I never really took note until now. Or maybe I did spend too much time looking at Edward, but that wasn't about to change. "It's his eyes," I said. "When he looks at me, it-it's hard to look away. But you and Jasper, your connection is strong, too."

"Yeah, Bella, but I've known Jasper since I was twelve and we started dating at fifteen. Our relationship has grown into what it is over years. You and Edward have been together for what? Not even three months?"

I had never thought about it before. With Edward and me, everything seemed so natural, I hadn't even noticed how quick it was, but she was right. What I felt for Edward, it seemed like we had been together forever. I could hardly remember what it was like when I didn't know him. I had subconsciously inserted him into every memory, as if he had always been with me.

"I mean, don't get me wrong, Bella. I'm happy for the two of you. I am. I just don't get it, that's all."

"Bella," Jasper said, and handed me a glass of champagne. I thanked him and just as I was about to take a sip, Edward stopped me.

"Wait," he said putting a hand on my arm. "I want to dedicate our first drink to Mrs. Hines and her ingenious marriage project." He placed the champagne bottle on the table and held his glass out to me.

"I'll drink to that," I said, and I did after clinking glasses with Edward.

"I have a question…" Edward said, sliding next to me on the sofa and slipping an arm over my shoulder. "Since I was the first person to kiss you, that must mean you've never had a New Year's Eve kiss."

"Only on the cheek," I told him.

"Well then, I'm going to have to make sure tonight's kiss is memorable."

I turned to look at him. "Can we start now?"

"Nope. You have to wait until midnight."

"Then why did you say anything? Don't tease me." I sipped my champagne so I had something to do with my lips. The bubbles tickled my nose and burned my throat, and still it wasn't enough to quiet my thoughts of Edward and his kiss. I drank it down quickly and he poured me some more.

"Which cheek did you get your New Year's kiss on and how old were you?"

"Sixteen," I said, "I don't remember which cheek. This boy in Phoenix just--"

"I didn't ask who it was," he said.

Since he wasn't going to kiss me until midnight, I had to look away from him. I glanced over at Alice who was sitting on the floor now next to Jasper and they were staring at each other. Just staring, not talking or anything. I wished I had a mirror so I could show her. Jasper brought his wrist up between them and they both checked the time.

I turned back to Edward and smiled in anticipation. His finger grazed my lips and I kissed it. Alice and Jasper started the countdown at twenty. Edward and I did not join in. He leaned toward me, brushing both my cheeks with the back of his hand, one after the other. He turned my chin to the right and when his lips touched my cheek, I had no idea where Alice and Jasper were in their countdown or if they had already finished. Edward's mouth opened as he slid his bottom lip slowly and lightly across my cheek bone and followed up with three excruciatingly slow kisses moving up toward my temple. I closed my eyes. Then he turned my chin the other way and repeated the same thing on that side. He whispered in my ear, "Did your New Year's kiss feel anything like that?"

"N-no."

His fingers found their way into my hair at the nape of my neck and his lips were right there, next to mine. So close. Almost touching. All I wanted to do was crush my lips to his, but he stopped me. "Don't move your lips," he whispered. "This is _your_ kiss."

You do not know how entirely difficult it is to keep your lips still while the person you love is slowly and softly torturing you with his lips and tongue and all you want to do is plunge into him. First he kissed one corner of my mouth, then the other. The tip of his tongue licked all the way across my lips, top, then bottom. He took each lip into his mouth one at a time. My lips parted.

"That's right," he said. "Just like that. Keep still." I shook my head. "Keep still," he said again, "or I'll stop." Then he laughed because we both knew he wouldn't stop. But I held my lips still for him. He kissed once more, before his tongue rounded the inside of my lips, tickling. Then he was inside, his tongue nudging against my mouth to widen my lips further. I felt his tongue cross the edge of my teeth, and then on my tongue, lifting it with his, playing our tips together before entering further. Ohmygod, how was he doing this? I couldn't have held back any longer even if he'd threatened never to kiss me again. With a deep breath out, I attacked him with my mouth, moving up onto my knees, my hands in his hair at the back of his neck and pulling him toward me as if I was trying to put him into my mouth entirely, and then pushing him back with all of my weight until he was arched against the arm of the sofa. I kissed him and kissed him as if it _were_ the last kiss. When I let him go, we were both panting and looking at each other and smiling. "That was…"

"I know," he said. "Let's go to my room."

He grabbed a candle and I blew out the rest before taking his hand and leading him to the stairs. That's when I noticed Jasper and Alice were no longer in the living room, and wondered how long it had been since they finished their countdown and left. At the top of the stairs, I turned and kissed him and said, "The champagne. I have to go to the bathroom." I let out a giggle, embarrassed that I had to go and had told him about it. As if girls didn't go to the bathroom or something. Or maybe it was just the champagne that made me giggle.

He didn't seem to notice my embarrassment. "Okay, meet me in my room."

He walked me into the bathroom at the top of the stairs across from the guest room and set the candle on the counter for me. After I was finished and washed my hands, I opened the bathroom door and Edward was standing right there. He pushed me back into the bathroom with his lips, his hands on my hips. "Emmett and Rosalie didn't stay out of my room," he said between kisses.

"The other room." I said between kisses.

"Alice and Jasper."

But suddenly, it no longer mattered where we were. "Your shirt," I said, tugging at it.

"Your shirt," he said. We decided to take them off at the same time and then we laughed and embraced as fast as we could. His skin against mine: perfection. He kissed me down my body and I kissed him down his. Kneeling, he turned me around and kissed his way up my spine, removed my bra, then kissed my back some more, side to side between my shoulder blades.

"Your wings," he said, then continued kissing me up to the back of my neck, pushing my hair over my shoulder. I had to lean against the counter just to stay on my feet. He turned me to face him again, removed my jeans and panties, lifted me onto the counter, and stepped between my legs. Kissing my neck and down my chest, he started unbuttoning his pants, then froze. "Oh no," he said against my breast.

"What?" I continued unbuttoning where his hands had left off. I unzipped but he stepped back.

"Oh no," he said again.

"What?!"

"No. No, no, no." He was reaching into all of his pockets. He took out his wallet and leafed through it. "I don't have…aw man…I don't have protection." He looked toward the door. "Damn Emmett. And I can't ask Jasper, he's..."

"He wouldn't have anything anyway."

"Why not? How do you know?"

"He and Alice, they don't…"

"Oh." He looked surprised. He hadn't known. Now I felt like I had betrayed Alice…and Jasper. But he didn't dwell on it. Other things were on his mind.

"I'll go to the store," he said.

"Will anything be open after midnight on New Year's?"

"No. You're right." His face, his eyes, his voice, all dripped disappointment. I made a decision and finished undoing his pants and grabbed for him.

"What are you…ohhh," he groaned. He dropped his head to my shoulder, his hands on the counter, holding himself up, and groaned again. "Bel…Bella…w-wait."

"Why?" I didn't stop. He groaned again.

"Bella. Bella, wait." His hand stopped me. His eyes were squeezed shut and he was gasping for breath.

"Its okay, Edward. It's all for you." I kissed him. I licked his earlobe "You."

"Oh my god." He opened his eyes. He gazed into mine. "You're so perfect." He kissed me, his hands at my waist, grabbing, holding. "It's just. It's New Year's Eve_. _I need _all_ of you." He looked at me for a few seconds and then said, "Fuck it." He left, buttoning his pants on his way out, and closed the door behind him. I sat there, naked on the counter, wondering what I should do. Should I get dressed? His shirt was still on the floor with my clothes. And then I heard a screech come from another room and a loud thud against the wall. I still didn't know what to do with myself. I was really feeling my nakedness, totally exposed. But then Edward was back, smiling and wiggling a condom at me.

I laughed. "What was all that noise?"

"Rosalie screamed," he laughed, "and Emmett threw a book at me. He missed."

"I hope you didn't see anything too traumatizing."

"Nothing the vision in front of me hasn't already erased." His lips were on my neck and I grabbed the condom from him, ripped it open, tore into his pants for the second time, and put it on for him. "Now," I said, and he obeyed, pulling my hips toward him. We both gasped.

"Happy New Year, my Bella."

"Happy New Year, my hero." And then we both sort of laughed and moaned at the same time, until it was all just moans.

Since Edward's room was otherwise occupied and we didn't want to post-coital-cuddle on the bathroom floor, we dressed and returned to the living room sofa. Of course, Edward was wearing pants but no shirt. He lay behind me holding me tight, his cheek resting on top of mine. "I had no idea about Jasper and Alice," he said, "but if anyone could hold out for that long, it would be Jasper."

"Why do you say that?"

"J has this weird sixth sense. He is super attuned to other people's emotions. If Alice was hesitant or scared in any way, he would feel it. Man, if I had Jasper's sensibility, I don't know if we ever would have done it. If I could feel your fear that night in your room. I mean, I could tell anyway, but if I could _feel_ it, or your pain, I wouldn't have been able to go through with it."

"Well you did," I said and turned and kissed his cheek. "That was some New Year's Eve kiss you gave me. How are you ever going to top that?"

"Oh, I never said I would top it. I said I would make it memorable."

"It worked. I won't be forgetting it."

"Me neither."

"Edward…what time is it?"

He reached over to the coffee table to check his phone. "1:36."

"I have to go home. I have to be home by 2:00."

"No." He squeezed me tighter.

"My dad will kill me if I don't come home."

"He won't. People always say that, but it's never true. Besides, there's too much snow. It's not safe."

"Okay, maybe he'll let me live, but he won't let me come over anymore."

"We'll take Emmett's Jeep." He turned my face toward his and kissed me deep. I easily forgot it was time for me to go home. I turned my whole body toward him and lifted my leg over his hip to feel him closer. I forgot where I was while we kissed. I forgot we were on Edward's sofa in his living room and that I had to go home.

"How can I possibly take you home?" he asked and then kissed me some more. "How am I supposed to come back here and sleep on this couch all by myself? Without you?" He kissed me again.

"I don't know." I didn't know. I wished I could stay with him in his arms all night long, but I just couldn't.

"Come on," he said. "The longer we wait the more impossible it becomes." He stood us both up and held onto me as he took Emmett's keys off the end table. "If he can take my room, I can take his Jeep. Man, I hope he likes doing laundry because he's going to spend all of New Year's Day cleaning up the mess he's making on my bed."

Outside my house, it wasn't any easier to leave Edward. We sat together in Emmett's big jeep, holding hands, just looking at my house, my destination. I thought about asking him to take me back to his house. I could ignore my curfew this one night. Ignore my dad.

I turned to Edward. "I can't go." My eyes were watering. I couldn't believe I was actually tearing up over leaving Edward. It was 2:00--morning would come soon enough and we could see each other again. But even with that rationalization, I couldn't get out of the car.

"Bella." He brought a hand to my face. "Are you crying?"

"No."

His thumb wiped a tear. "I've never seen you cry before."

"I'm not crying."

He leaned forward--kissed my tears. "Mmm, your tears taste good."

I laughed. He kept kissing at my face. Then he pulled back. "Your dad's inside. You have to go." He got out of the car first and opened my door for me. He walked me through the snow to my door and kissed me goodnight. "I'll see you in the morning, Bella. I love you."

I just stood there.

"Go on," he said.

"Come with me." He stared for a minute like he was actually considering it.

"I wish I could--you don't even know how bad. But I can't."

"You can just stay on the couch. I'll stay with you until my dad gets up and then I'll go to my room."

"Your dad would be okay with that? Coming down in the morning to find me on the couch?"

"No, he wouldn't. Just. You have to go first. I'm not going inside until you're gone."

"I have to make sure you get in safe."

"Look," I held up my key ring. "Keys. Door. I'm safe. You go first."

He headed for the Jeep.

"Edward?" He turned. "I love you, too."

He laughed at my delayed response. "I'm at the Jeep. You go in now."

I did as I was told. I went inside and shut the door behind me, only to go to the front window to watch him drive away. I slept on the couch for the rest of the night. For some reason, going to my room seemed even further away from Edward.

* * *

How did you like this bit of fluff? Too fluffy? Let me know with a review, please.


	10. Winter's Walk

**Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. I'm just an uninvited guest swimming in her pool.**

* * *

The Path We Chose

Chapter: 10 Winter's Walk

Our first day back at school, Edward and I trudged through the snow together. He let go of my hand to adjust his backpack and of course, that's when I slipped and landed on my butt. "I can't let go of you for a second," he said, helping me up and wiping the snow off my backside. "Are you okay? Your pants are wet." He laughed at me. I pushed against his arm but then I almost fell again. He was still laughing when Jessica ran up, threw her arms around his neck and kissed his lips right in front of me. He grabbed her waist and pushed her back.

"Jessica!" I yelled.

"What?" She asked, smiling and wiping her lips with the back of her hand like it had been a real kiss. "You know you owed me that, Edward. Remember before break? We were standing under the mistletoe together next to Mrs. Hines's desk."

"I don't remember that. And I wouldn't have kissed you even if I did." He wiped his mouth off too and then he looked at me, reaching for my hand.

"Jessica. Would you please just…go find your own boyfriend. Leave mine alone. He doesn't want you." I took his hand, and upon touching him, the vision of Jessica kissing him flashed through my mind again. I looked down. It made me sick. I couldn't even look at Edward and that made me sicker.

"How do you know he doesn't want me?" She asked. "It's not like he would tell you if he did."

"Goddamn it, Jessica!" Edward yelled. "This has to stop! Even if I'd never met Bella, I wouldn't want you. I thought I made that clear last year and the year before that. And the disrespect you are showing Bella right now is cruel and your behavior is fucking pitiful." I felt his eyes on me but I still couldn't look at him. "Bella? Does she do this shit to you when I'm not around?" My answer was in my silence.

"Look. I didn't mean anything by it. It was just a joke. Lauren dared me to do it. Blame her." She motioned behind her with her thumb. Lauren was yards away pretending not to be aware of us.

"What are you, seven?" Edward asked. "Jessica, let's get something straight right now. And be sure to pass this on to Lauren. I am in love with Bella. I love her. Do you hear that? When you do anything to upset her or hurt her, it pisses me off. Do you get that, too? Stay the fuck away from her! Unless she talks to you, I don't want you to even look at her."

"Edward," I said. "I can tell her that myself."

I felt him turn to me again but I still avoided his gaze. "I know you can. But I wanted her to hear it from me, too. She's a fucking kid. She just doesn't get it. No common sense."

Jessica's eyes started to tear up and her chin quivered before she turned around and walked back to Lauren who was laughing now.

Edward brought a finger to my chin and tilted my face toward him. "Are you all right?"

I nodded. He bent down to kiss me but I turned my head--his lips caught my cheek.

"Bella?" He was frowning. "You _know_ I didn't return the kiss."

"I know."

"Then what?"

"I keep seeing it."

"Oh." He let go of me completely. "Well, let me know when I can kiss you again." We started heading to class. Neither one of us spoke. I snuck a glance at him and he was staring straight ahead. He didn't look at me again until we were standing just outside my French class. I could tell he wanted to kiss me--I recognized it in his eyes, but he was holding himself back. He looked stiff. I thought about how I would have felt if I went to kiss him and he turned away. My stomach hurt all over again, and even though my mind was still playing Jessica's kiss on repeat, I gave him what he wanted. The kiss was light and quick but it was the best I could do at that moment. He knew it wasn't right.

"You know, as long as you avoid me, you're giving her exactly what she wants."

"I know. I don't even think she wants you. I just think she doesn't want me to be with you."

"That's not her choice." He left me there watching him walk off to his class.

I didn't see him again until lunch and he wasn't staying. "I've been sent home."

"Why? Because of Jessica? She _told_ on you?"

"She said I scared her and threatened her."

"Let's go talk to Mr. Randall. Explain it."

"I tried. It's not going to work. He says it's a serious accusation and there were other witnesses."

"Who? Lauren? Yeah, she's reliable."

He shrugged. "I'll pick you up after school, okay?"

I nodded and hugged him.

"Don't let her get to you, Bella. Don't let her behavior affect _us_."

I kissed him long and deep in front of everyone in the cafeteria to let him know I wouldn't. And then I sat at our lunch table--the only uncoupled one.

In Health class, without Edward, I confronted Jessica--asked her why she provoked Edward and then tattled on him.

"He was mean to me," she said, which got Mike's attention. "He scared me."

"He scared you?"

"Mike," I said. "You stay out of this. Or, in fact, you two should get together." I pointed a finger at both of them. "You're made for each other." They looked at one another for a moment before Jessica broke the gaze.

"Bella, I don't even know what you see in Edward."

"Good," I said and returned to my desk.

* * *

On Sunday, Jasper showed up at the Cullen's house. He said his parents were arguing about housework. His mom was screaming, why is it always the woman's responsibility to keep the house clean, and his dad was yelling, why couldn't she manage it when all their friends could do it just fine. That's when his mom started throwing things at his dad. Jasper needed to be around happy people. We didn't have to share Jasper's special empathy gift to understand that.

"Where's Alice?" I asked. We were in Edward's room listening to Marvin Gaye--Jasper's choice. I was sitting on Edward's desk chair resting my chin on the backrest. Edward was standing next to me just looking out the window. (I could tell he wished we were alone but he would never ask Jasper to leave.)

"She and her mom have this tradition. Every year, in the middle of January, her mom takes a vacation from work and they pack up the car for a week long road trip of doing things they've never done before. It's supposed to mean that their relationship will remain close for another year."

"Oh, she did tell me something about going away with her mom. I didn't know she would be gone all week. That's sweet," I said. "What new thing is on their agenda this time?"

"I think they're driving to Colorado to hike up to Hanging Lake. You never know with them, though. They might change course mid-way. They did that last year."

"Lucky Alice, she gets a week off school."

"Yeah, but it sucks for me." He dropped himself onto the bed.

Marvin Gaye had just started crooning, "Let's Get It On" when Edward tossed me my coat. "Let's go for a walk," he said.

Outside, the air was brisk, you could feel the chill run through your insides. Even my heart was cold. The three of us walked through the woods toward the creek behind Edward's house. There were snow patches here and there. I might have made a snowball if I didn't think my fingers would freeze off.

"I built this with my dad," Edward said, gesturing to the foot bridge over the creek in front of us. We crossed it.

"Did you build it in the Spring?" I asked.

"Yeah, why?"

"I just wondered how you managed it with all the squirrels running around."

Edward's mouth opened wide and so did his eyes. Then he grabbed me around the waist with both of his arms. "No squirrels, smart ass, just a pack of dogs."

"What?" Jasper asked.

"Never mind," Edward said.

"You two are weird."

"Thank you," I said.

We sat close--me in between Jasper and Edward--on a big, flat rock near the creek's edge. The creek was full and flowing fast from recent rains and melting snow; it sounded like running bath water. If the sun was out, I knew the tips of the water where it lapped together would sparkle like diamonds.

A shiver ran through me and I blew into my hands to warm them. Jasper took my hands and started rubbing.

"How are you warm right now?"

"I'm cold," he said. "My hands are only warm compared to yours."

"Let me do that," Edward said, rubbing his own hands together to heat them with friction and then took my hands from Jasper.

"What's it like to be you?" I asked Jasper.

"Not easy."

"Tell me," I said.

He squinted out over the creek for a while. So much time passed, that I wondered if he had decided not to answer. He finally spoke. "You know when an ambulance passes and you pull over?"

I nodded.

"Maybe you wonder what's happened. Maybe you feel a little worried that someone might be hurt. Maybe you fear for a minute that it might be someone you know."

"Yes, I do."

"Bella, when I pull over to let an ambulance pass, scenario after scenario plays through my mind: a grandfather, a baby, someone's wife, daughter, father--and it's like it _is_ someone I know--my family. It physically pains me. I have to pull myself together. All the other cars that stopped for the ambulance are long gone when I'm finally ready to drive again."

I felt the need to comfort him because he was always comforting everyone else. I pulled one of my hands from Edward's and rubbed Jasper's arm. I wasn't sure he could feel it through his thick black coat so I put my arm around his back and rested my head against his shoulder, and I felt better, too. Jasper looked down at me and smiled, "Thanks," and then he looked at Edward. I pulled away and leaned back against my boyfriend, whose arms came instantly around me. I placed both my hands back in his, and our fingers played together as usual.

"I'm weak," Jasper said. He was staring out at the water again.

"You're not weak," Edward said.

"No, I am. Not physically weak but emotionally weak. Edward, what would you have done if Mike had kissed Bella instead of Alice that one day a few months back?"

I thought about what I'd wanted to do when Jessica kissed Edward a few days ago.

"I would have beat the living shit out of him. I almost did, as it was."

"I wanted to do just that," Jasper said. "I wanted to hit him until all he could see was black and shiny stars. I wanted to sock him in the mouth and watch it bleed for ever putting his lips on Alice without her permission--for making her cry and feel guilty over something that wasn't even her fault.

"I saw him in the parking lot after school, his back was to me and I was ready. I didn't care that Eric, Tyler and Ben were right there, too. I would have taken them all; I was that mad. But then Mike turned around, and when he saw me, he was sorry. I could see it in his face and I could feel it. It wasn't just guilt or fear, he was truly sorry. His apology was leaking from his pores, I could almost smell it. All I could do was tell him not to do it again. I knew I didn't even have to say that, either. I already knew he would not do it again. The worst part was, I didn't get that release I needed. I was still pumped for a fight, my adrenaline kicking, but I didn't get it. It's like another type of impotency." He shook his head. "I went home and kicked the shit out of my punching bag, but it's not the same."

"You're going to be some kind of humanitarian," I said.

"I know," he said, nodding. "I'm going to grow my hair long and move through third world countries passing out sunshine and roses and giving the peace sign." He laughed. "I really am."

We all sat by the creek and watched and listened to the water until it started raining and the three of us ran back to Edward's. Somehow, I made it without acquiring any new bruises.

After Jasper left, I told Edward I had to go, too. We were in his room, finally warm from our wintry walk. Esme was downstairs preparing dinner.

"I have homework to do," I said.

"Do it here."

"You're joking."

"Stay." He held my hand.

"I can't"

"I'll take my shirt off." This made me laugh even though the thought was enticing.

"It's not that, cutie." I brought a hand up to his cheek because he really was that cute. He hadn't shaved so I rubbed my palm back and forth to feel his scruff. He pressed his face against my touch and closed his eyes until I spoke again. "I do need to study, you know? So I don't fail out of school? You've heard of school, right? I know you don't want to be dating a Junior again next year." I grabbed my backpack from his bed.

"All right, go, you shrew." He said the words, but his face and his body said the opposite as he stepped closer to draw me into his arms. His arms, my face against his heart, just as good as shirtless Edward. I dropped my backpack absentmindedly; I hadn't even noticed I let go. I kissed his cotton-covered chest, then pulled his crew neck down and kissed the bottom of his throat. He kissed my temple twice. And then I went home.

* * *

My dad was yelling at the newspaper when I walked through the door.

"I was there, you asshole! That's not how it happened." He looked up at me from his recliner. "What is wrong with these reporters?" He shook the paper in his hands as though it would move the words around the way he wanted them. "What has happened to reporting the facts? If they want to write fiction they should write for that…what's that called, where they make up crap about celebrities?"

"Tabloid?"

"They should write for a tabloid. If you ever decide to get into journalism maybe you could bring back the tradition of factual reporting."

"Sorry to disappoint, Dad, but I'm not going to be the journalism savior. Maybe you should write a letter to the editor. It might mean something coming from the police chief."

"Nah, then they'll start bugging me for an interview. I like to keep myself as unavailable as possible when it comes to these liars. They knock on my office door too much as it is, always asking for a statement so they can spin it any which way they want."

"How about a beer, Dad?"

He lifted his can off the table and showed it to me.

"How about dinner, then? Spaghetti and meatballs or…hmm." I checked the fridge and called to him, "Well, we have loads of condiments but nothing to put them on. How's spaghetti and meatballs?"

"Sounds good. I'll be there in a sec to help."

I tugged my World History book out of my backpack and studied at the counter while I waited for the water to boil, or until my dad interrupted me. "Oh, I almost forgot. Your mom called." He crossed to the refrigerator pulling out the package of frozen meatballs. "She's coming for a visit next month. Said she has some news." He tossed a baking sheet on the counter. I moved my book aside. "We can guess what she has to say, but still she wants to tell us in person."

"Good. She can meet Edward, then."

"You and Edward? Is that…serious?"

"Yes it is."

"Don't you think you should date other people, Bella?"

"No."

"It's not healthy for you to be so serious with one boy at your age. I don't want to see you brokenhearted at seventeen."

"Edward would never do that to me."

"How can you be sure? Believe me, I know teenage boys. And _not_ just because I used to be one."

"Edward's different. You should give him a chance, Dad. Besides, if anyone is going to break my heart, I'd want it to be Edward."

He shook his head at me. "Unhealthy."

* * *

Just like Edward, I really want to know what you're thinking! I will never know unless you review. :)


	11. North Wind

The Path We Chose

Chapter: 11 North Wind

On Valentine's Day, I wore lip gloss. It was clear, but still glossier than my usual lip balm, and maybe Edward would like it. We had planned on spending the whole day together (no gifts, I had insisted-just like at Christmas). He was picking me up at noon to take me where ever it was he was taking me. He had refused to tell me what was planned, but he'd been very smiley about it whenever I asked. I had a few minutes before he was expected so I went to the bathroom. It was in there that I noticed something was wrong, really wrong. I rushed to my room, straight to my calendar searching for my telling red circle. And there it was, six days back. My hand flew directly to my mouth. I felt my sticky lips and just wiped the gloss right off with the back of my hand. At that moment I needed Edward. I called him without thinking twice about it. I just called him.

"Are you on your way over?"

"Yes, are you ready?"

**...**

"Bella? Are you there?"

"Can you stop at the store?"

"Sure, what do you need? "

**...**

"Bella?"

"A pregnancy test."

It was quiet for at least three minutes. I just waited and listened, wondering if he was still driving or if he had pulled over. And then, too late, it dawned on me what I had just asked him...and told him…over the phone. It was so quiet. I closed my eyes. There were no take-backs or do-overs when it came to talking. "Why?" Edward finally asked.

"Well, my period is late, that's all. A week late. I just thought I'd check." Okay, no matter how nonchalant you tried to make it sound, there was no way to announce you needed a pregnancy test as if it was no big deal.

"Bella, you want me to pick up a pregnancy test here, in Forks? People will know."

That was a good point. A very good point. I did not want people to know.

"I'll pick you up. We'll go to Port Angeles."

I sat on the edge of my bed, jiggling my legs, waiting for the doorbell. Then I went downstairs and watched for him out the window. Then I got too antsy and waited outside. Then I went to the edge of the sidewalk so I could see his car when he came around the corner. Too many cars passed by that weren't his. No noisy blue Bugs. Of course, when he finally did arrive, I heard him before I saw him.

In the car I said it was probably fine. Maybe I miscalculated or was under stress. We'd always been safe.

"Yes!" he practically yelled. "We have always been safe."

That was all we said about it until we got to the store. He let me wait in the car while he ran in and bought the test. He came back with three different boxes of tests (he was unsure which brand to get, he'd told me), a twelve pack of bottled water and a heart-shaped box of chocolates. If anything could make me laugh now, that was it. I laughed and I couldn't stop. Every time I neared calming I would look at him or the waters or the market bag and just start all over again. He didn't laugh, but he did crack a crooked smile a few times and patted my hand. I felt a bit like a little girl and he was my grandpa, the way he patted my hand. I knew, though, it was his way of comforting his girlfriend gone mad.

I took the test in the park, behind a tree. I pulled my pants down and peed on the stick right there in the park. It was my idea. It was cold, probably just over 50 degrees, but there was no snow and we had our coats. Unable to afford a hotel room and unwilling to wait the whole trip back to Forks for the result, the cold, empty park was the best plan I could come up with. So I took the test and we watched and waited together on the park bench for the minus sign to appear. The plus sign appeared instead. We stared at each other for a minute.

"The line going through the middle is kind of blurry, isn't it?" I said. "Look. It's blurry."

"Yeah, it is."

Maybe that line wasn't quite there, so I drank some water and took more tests. The plus sign appeared three more times before we decided to believe it.

I tossed those sticks out along with the boxes and the unused sticks. We sat on the swings together not really swinging.

"Well, at least we were married first," he said. "At least we have that." I gave him a sort of laugh at his attempt at a joke. "The cashier in the store told me, 'good luck.' What did she mean by that? Do you think she meant: good luck, hope it's not positive, or good luck, hope it is positive?"

"I don't know," I said. "Maybe she just meant good luck, hope it goes your way, or good luck for whatever comes next. It's not luck anyway you look at it. It's circumstance. It's real. Luck is not real. It's just an excuse-a way of explaining good or bad things that happen to you without having to take responsibility for anything. What were you hoping for, anyway? When she said good luck, what were you hoping for?"

"Bella, do you have to ask that? I don't want to answer that."

"You don't have to answer," I said. "...But now that you know the result, what are you thinking?"

He brought a hand to his head, fingers in his hair. That, too, was a hard question for him. I looked down at the wood chips under the swing.

"Do you want the honest answer or do you want me to make you feel better?"

"Both," I said. "No, be honest."

"Well, honestly, I don't know. I'm fucking scared."

"Me too."

I got off my swing and went to his lap, sharing his swing and resting my head on his shoulder, tucking myself into his chest until his arms came around me. His arms, so much stronger than mine, holding me tight, almost like he was protecting me from something. He couldn't protect me from this, though. This was happening, no matter how hard he held me. But he did hold me tight, because that's what we both needed.

Conversations with my dad flashed through my mind. Getting too serious with one boy is unhealthy. Too young to be so serious. Were we being safe? But we _had_ been safe, and somehow it hadn't been enough. There was way too much to think about at this moment. Three entire lives to think about. I saw an image of my mom, smiling, blond hair. She would help me. She would. She would help my dad understand.

"My mom's coming for a visit next weekend. We can tell her and my dad while she's here."

I would have to wait out the week without saying anything to my dad. That was going to be hard. It would nag at me that I knew something this big and kept it from him. When he found out, he would know that I had kept it from him. When I told Edward my fears he said that those thoughts would probably be the farthest thing from my dad's mind once he found out I was pregnant. And that was the first time either of us had said the word, pregnant, out loud.

I looked up at him but I had nothing to say. There were no words. I needed a change of subject so I asked what he had planned for today that we obviously weren't doing.

"We were going ice skating with everyone else. Alice planned it."

"Ice skating! Do you know me at all?" I pushed him away and then tugged him back tight to me at the shock of not feeling him against me anymore. My arms around his back, my head on his shoulder, my face in his neck. He held me tighter-rubbed my arm.

"I wasn't going to make you do it. We were going to sit at the table and watch Emmett struggle on those tiny blades."

"That would have been funny." I almost laughed at the image alone. Almost. "Do you think he would ice skate?"

"Rosalie is his girlfriend. He's probably skating right now. And after we had enough of Emmett, we would have gone under the table to do what you're supposed to do on Valentine's Day."

"How did you get out of it?" I lifted my head to look at him.

"I said we decided to do Valentine's Day alone."

"And Alice let you out of it that easily?"

"I didn't call Alice. Are you kidding me? I called Jasper and left a message on his voice mail."

"Jasper and Emmett are probably hating you right about now."

Edward half-smiled until the reality of how he had avoided a day at the ice rink hit him. His smile faded. "If they knew the truth, they wouldn't hate me." He kissed my head.

We could no longer avoid what was really at the forefront of our minds. We talked about who we would tell, when we would tell them, how we would stay together, hold on to each other, but not once did we discuss what we were going to do about the baby.

* * *

The next week was weird. Edward and I didn't talk much at all. He still picked me up for school and we held hands when we walked together, but we were silent. The people around us were all business as usual. At lunch, Rosalie and Emmett still shared heated discussions. Alice still wrapped herself in Jasper. Neither Edward or I ate any food. I rested my head on his shoulder and he brought his hand to my face.

"Bella, you're so quiet." Alice said.

"I don't think I did very well on my French exam," I said, which wasn't a lie. I hadn't been able to concentrate and since I'd taken Spanish the year before, I found myself translating from English to Spanish and then to French. In all honesty, I couldn't even remember taking the test. I remembered the paper was pink-that was it. I may have failed my first test. Ever. That thought made me hide my face in my hands.

"But you studied so hard for it," Alice said. "You had that book open everywhere you went last week."

Last week. I could have told her that a lot of things were different last week. Last week, we were all laughing because Emmett and Jasper decided to end a mind-wrestle with an arm wrestle and Jasper had won because Emmett couldn't stand Jasper's touch. Last week, I had been easily excited by Mrs. Salazar's announcement that we would be moving on to Women's Lit in Literature class. I had immediately read down the list of reading choices, circled too many, and worked through the rest of the class period trying to narrow it down. Last week, the worst thing that had happened was when I'd burnt my wrist while cooking bacon.

"I'm sure you did fine," Alice said.

I forced myself to look up before she could catch on that something else was wrong. "You're probably right."

"They have our brownies today. Do you want to go get a brownie?"

I really did _not _want to go and get a brownie, but she seemed so eager to cheer me up that I couldn't say no. "Edward," I said and tugged on his arm. "Come with us?"

He answered by standing up and reaching for my hand. I didn't take it. I wrapped my arms around his waist instead. Alice frowned at me and I tried to smile at her but instead I let tears leak from my eyes.

"Bella?" she said.

I shook my head. "I'm afraid I really did fail that test." Both of Edward's arms wrapped around my shoulders and he kissed the side of my head.

"You don't want a brownie, do you?" Alice asked.

"No."

"Maybe Mrs. McClure will let you retake it," she said.

"She won't. Why would she?"

"Because she must know you're a good student. If you did that badly, I'm sure she'll let you. Anyway, don't be so down about it until you know for sure."

"Alice, may I have a minute alone with Bella?"

She nodded and continued on to the lunch line without us. Edward turned me to face him. "Is that true? Do you think you failed?"

"I can barely speak English. How am I supposed to speak French?"

"French is your first class. Maybe she already graded them. Do you want to find out?"

I shrugged.

"Come on." He took my hand and led me out of the cafeteria. "We'll wait outside the classroom for her to come back from lunch. You can tell her you weren't feeling well and you're afraid you failed, and that you were wondering if she'd had a chance to grade them."

Mrs. McClure was already in the classroom when we got there. I entered alone and recited the lines Edward had given me. She told me she hadn't graded them yet but she could grade mine right then if I wanted to wait. She seemed young for a high school teacher, and she was one of those people who always had a small smile on her lips while she spoke. I sat in the front desk and waited, folding and unfolding my hands.

"Isabelle?" she called because that was my name in French class. "Come on up."

She showed me my test. It had a big red, "C" on it. "What happened? The words you got incorrectly were in Spanish."

"I blanked."

"This test was worth a third of your grade. Even if you earn 'A's' on the other two exams your best possibility for the semester is a 'B'."

"Is there anything else I can do?"

"I can give you some extra credit essay work, but you're going to have to really buckle down, Isabelle."

I told her I would do the extra credit and thanked her for taking the time to grade my test for me.

I told Edward I didn't fail. He refrained from asking me what my grade was and I waited until we were almost to Health to repeat what Mrs. McClure had told me.

"'B's' are still good, Bella." I nodded.

Our Marriage project in Health had ended last semester, and now we were learning about drug addiction-which meant mostly movies about kids going to rehab, breaking out of rehab, returning to rehab and then miraculously getting better only to start lecturing others about saying no to drugs. Jessica and Mike started making out as if they were in a movie theater. Even though the lights were off, the room was far from dark when you took into account the uncovered windows and the fact that it was daylight outside. Everyone but Mrs. Hines, who was reading a book, could see Mike and Jessica. I couldn't watch. For just a second, I thought: sure, someone like her doesn't get pregnant, but I do. But that was as far as I allowed my pity party to take me.

* * *

At 7:30 PM on the Saturday after Valentine's Day, my dad brought my mom home from the airport as scheduled. She blew in like a burst of wind, hugging me, yapping about her flight and how two kids were allowed to run up and down the aisle even though the flight attendants kept reminding their parents to put the kids in their seat belts. It's for their own safety, the flight attendants kept saying until finally the parents did it and the two kids just screamed and screamed until they fell asleep. "You must be Edward," she said and gave him a hug.

"Sit down," I told my mom. "Do you want a beer?" I asked my dad and grabbed one from the fridge bringing Edward along with me. They were finally seated in the family room-my mom on the couch, my dad in his recliner, popping open his beer. I let my mom share her news first because we already had it figured out anyway. Phil had been picked up by the major league and they were living in Jacksonville now. I congratulated her and hugged her long and tight, my heart pounding because I knew what was coming next. "Bella, I can't breathe, baby." I let her go, went right back to Edward, and stood in front of the TV across from my mom and dad like we were the entertainment. It was time to get this over with. "Mom, Dad," I said, "Edward and I need to talk to you."

"Yes?" My mom said. Edward took my hand again and my eyes darted between my mom and my dad and I couldn't talk. My mouth opened and closed twice, but words evaded me-my brain was slowing down, my lungs were barely working. I still had feeling, though. I knew that because I felt Edward squeeze my hand.

"Oh my god, you're pregnant!"

In that moment I wished like I'd never wished before that I could tell her no. I wished on stars and dandelions and eyelashes. No, Mom, I'm not pregnant. Edward and I failed our marriage assignment. It was a huge part of our grade; we didn't pass the class; we might not graduate. All of that seemed so much easier than this. I couldn't tell her no, though, and I couldn't tell her yes, either. It didn't matter anyway. I didn't have to say anything.

My dad stood up and walked toward Edward. I felt Edward take a step back but he still held my hand. "Is that true?"

"It is," Edward said taking a step forward, in line with me again.

"Wait a minute. You two know what makes a baby. You ignored that? You weren't careful?"

I didn't think this conversation could get any harder until just now. "We tried to be careful," I said to my shoes. I noticed I was standing on the sides of my feet, and stood up straight.

"You _tried_ to be careful?" My dad said. "What does that mean?"

Okay, I could not explain this. There was no way I was saying the word "condom" to my dad.

"I should have had her on the pill," my mom said. "I didn't know it was necessary. I didn't know you were that kind of girl." Edward dropped my hand and my heart sped up until I felt his arm on my shoulder. He squeezed me to his side.

_That_ kind of girl? "Well, I guess I am, Mom." Her angry face and pursed lips replaced my dad as he backed away. She had the floor now.

"Not in Phoenix." She pointed at me. "In Phoenix you were good, you were smart, you talked to me about everything, even boys." She glared at Edward, then at me. "I should have never sent you here." Then she turned to my dad and I was relieved to be looking at the back of her head now. "You let her run around with boys. Alone with boys without questioning her or talking to her or telling me about it? And it didn't even take a year. Not even a year. How long has it been? Six months?"

I wanted to tell her that I was still good and smart and there was only one boy, but I was a coward and didn't say a thing. Then she spun around to yell at Edward.

"Did you do this? Did you pressure her? She was a virgin before you. You took that from her and replaced it with your baby!" I moved my arm, that had been tucked snuggly between our sides, to his waist. Edward let her yell at him without looking away or saying anything back.

And, oh, God. Had she just use the 'V' word? Virgin? My gaze shot to my dad, anticipating…I didn't even know what. He was still standing behind my mom, looking at Edward, his jaw clenched tight, his lips turned down under his mustache, but he didn't move. Edward was looking right back at my dad and I tried to read Edward's expression but I couldn't. Stoic, maybe? Definitely strong, but not defiant, defensive or angry.

"He didn't pressure me, Mom. We decided together. We love each other."

"You love each other? You're seventeen. What do you know of love? Do you know that love is not enough? Charlie and I were in love once upon a time. Things change, Bella. Love, it-it fades."

I watched my dad sit back down in his chair. Love may have faded for her, but now, I wasn't so sure about my dad. I half expected him to clutch at his heart but he didn't. "Have you told your parents, Edward?" She continued surprisingly calm now, as if she hadn't just emotionally hurt every person in this room.

"You're the first we've told," he said.

"Well, let's go then. I'd love to hear what _they _have to say about this." She grabbed for my dad's keys and we all knew to follow her. Out we went in a line, heads down, like baby elephants.

"You want to ride with me?" Edward asked me but apparently my mom had assumed the role of taking over my life.

"No, she does not. You've done enough. Get in the backseat, Bella."

And I did. I got in the backseat and buckled myself in, stuck there in the backseat of the car, and this situation and even my life. We drove through town, to the edge of town, and through the outskirts of town until the road turned and wound through the forest. I looked at the dark, uneven road in front of us, the future. I watched as the headlights brought it into present, then, in a flash, it was the past, dark again behind us. How fast it came and went, over and over again. Just a passenger, I watched the world pass by while others led, and I had strapped my own self down.

* * *

So, yes, she's pregnant. But I'm trying to make this a unique telling. Let me know if I succeed.

And things are suddenly heavy now, but that's what I think happens when you're a teenager and find out you're pregnant-life kind of turns upside down for a little while.

The heart of the story is still Edward's and Bella's relationship and how they make choices and get through their problems together.

Please review. :)


	12. Stealing Bella

**Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. I'm just an uninvited guest swimming in her pool.**

* * *

The Path We Chose

Chapter 12: Stealing Bella

"She is not having this baby. She's a baby herself." We were in the Cullens' living room and Esme had just asked if we had a plan. Apparently my mom still held the reigns, and stood up from the sofa as she spoke, yanking on those reigns. Nobody was still but Edward and me, who stood on opposite ends of the room. I was tiny, an ant, just standing and watching and listening. The others, they sat or stood or paced but they were not a bit still. Every time Edward tried to take a step toward me, my mom stopped him with her glare.

When we first arrived, Esme tried to give my mom a nice welcoming hand shake, but my mom pushed her way in before being invited, sat down on the living room sofa and said, "The kids are in trouble." She spent another good five minutes blaming the school administration and their marriage project. She didn't stop until Carlisle stood up and told her we were not going to sue or involve the school in any way. After that, he'd gone to the window--looked out a minute, then turned and faced Edward. Neither one of them spoke.

"Do you and Bella have a plan?" Esme had asked. But my mom had interrupted. And now, she had just called me a baby.

"Mom."

"No honey, you are. You still sleep with a teddy bear for Lord's sake."

"Renee," Carlisle said. "Let's hear the kids out. Edward, Bella, what do you plan to do? Have you discussed this? Have you made a decision?"

"My daughter is not going to have your son's baby. As diplomatic as you may want to be, we have to be realistic. You know that if Bella has this baby, she will suffer far worse than your son will. That's the way our society works. I will not allow my daughter to live that way."

I glanced at Edward. He was staring back at me, right into my eyes. He was trying to read something in me, but I couldn't know what he was looking for because I didn't even know my own thoughts. They were all over the place. Baby. I'm a baby. Teddy bear. My baby. Edward's baby. No baby. And then I panicked. My eyes were everywhere and all I saw were shades of dark.

"Bella," Carlisle said. "Are you feeling all right?"

"No." I walked away or ran, sprinted, maybe. Out the door, down the steps, into the woods I went, where it really was dark and I no longer had to decipher the difference between panic-darkness and real darkness. I slowed down, not even knowing where I was heading; I just kept walking. I wanted to be away from all of them. All of that. I needed to be alone. Alone, until I felt his hand on my wrist. I didn't even have to look at him to know it was Edward. I felt it. I turned to him. I had no idea what he thought of all this, but in that moment, he was all I had.

"Edward, they're talking about our lives in there."

"I know."

"_She_ is making our decisions."

"I know."

"She's going to make our decision!" I said again, louder, because I didn't think he quite got it. "We should have talked about this before. Why didn't we talk about it? I had no idea she would react this way. None. I thought she would be supportive--helpful. I actually thought she would help us." I scoffed at that. "What is she doing?" I sat down against a tree and I didn't care that the ground was cold and wet. I pulled my legs into my arms and wrapped myself up. He sat next to me and stroked my hair from the top of my head all the way down to my waist.

"What are you thinking?" He asked. "What do you want?"

"I don't know. I mean, we _are_ only seventeen. What are we supposed to do? Can we do this?"

He shrugged and shook his head.

I unwrapped myself and let my legs fall flat against the ground, and touched my stomach. "It's a baby. My baby. It's not the flu or some disease, or a tumor that's killing me. It's our baby. If it were anybody else's, I don't know, but it's not. It's yours and mine. "

He put his hand on top of mine on top of my stomach. "I know," he said.

"I can't end it's life," I said. "It's ours. It deserves a life."

He nodded. He was driving me crazy. Why wasn't he freaking out? What did he want? I looked at him and tried to show him with my eyes how much I needed him. But maybe he didn't see it. Maybe all he saw were round brown eyes, scared little girl eyes--eyes that had no idea about life or love or babies.

"Edward," I said, but couldn't continue. I looked away from him, down at his hand and mine, our fingers were intertwined and I didn't even know it until I looked. What did that mean, his fingers holding mine so tightly? Was he in this with me?

"What?" he said, reminding me that I had called his name a moment ago.

"I'm keeping the baby," I said. And then I cried because I had no idea if that was the right decision, but it was my decision. My mind and my heart, they gave me no choice. He brought my head to his chest, a little roughly, and both our bodies shook with my sobs.

"Good," he said. And pulled me closer until I was on his lap.

I looked up at him to make sure I heard him right. He was looking at me and tears were streaking his own face, down to his chin. He saw me looking and kissed my cheek.

"Good?"

He nodded. Then I knew why he had said so little. He was trying to hold himself together. If he had spoken anymore he would be crying and sobbing just like me. And then my arms went around him because he needed comfort, too. This was no longer just about me--it never was. He opened his coat and wrapped me up in it with him. I hadn't felt the cold but it must have been. We held onto each other there under the tree, letting our decision take hold of us, embed itself inside our minds where it could grow strength, roots, where no one could rip it out. We may have become part of the forest, we sat there for so long. We were part of the earth. We could just live up in the trees and eat berries and stay here together with dirty feet and hair and each other and our naked baby. We didn't need civilization. Civilization was over-rated. Right now, civilization was the worst.

"You're with me on this?" I asked.

"I'm with you."

"You're sure?"

"I wouldn't say it if I wasn't sure."

"This changes everything. Your whole path, your whole future. It's all different now."

"That's life," he said rubbing my arm. "No matter how hard people try, they can't control it. There are so many paths, Bella, and there are no guarantees. This is our path. It might look different, but it isn't really, because it's our path. The path we chose."

"What if we don't work out? How many teenagers stay together their entire lives? You just said there are no guarantees. Things will change and what if we can't get through it?"

"Okay, look." He pushed me away at arms length, holding me at my shoulders, then brought his face right to mine. "I can't imagine that. Us not being together. I can't…even…imagine it. I don't have a life if you're not in it. But if things change. If for some unknown reason, we don't work out, we will still have this." He took my hand and put it on my stomach just like earlier and he rubbed in circles. "No matter what is going on with us, we will always do what's right for our baby."

That was all I needed to hear. "Our baby," from his lips. Those beautiful words from his perfect lips. I knew he meant it. I nodded over and over again. I kept nodding and tears kept streaming, and my nose was running. He wiped my tears with his whole hand. Pushed them right off my face.

"I need a tissue."

"Come on," he said and stood us up.

"No, I don't want to go back in there." I picked up a small fir tree stem off the ground and wiped my nose with it. I didn't care that the needles poked at me. "See, I'm fine now. Let's stay here. I don't want to go back in there with them."

"I know but we have to."

"I don't want to."

"Neither do I, but we have to."

"How do you do this?"

He just looked at me.

"How are you so strong right now?"

"Bella, I'm only strong right now because you need me to be. Believe me, if I was alone with only myself to worry about, I'd probably be catatonic under that tree all curled up like a baby. And someday, maybe I will be and I'll need you to be _my_ strength."

We walked back into the living room holding hands so tightly as if someone was trying to pry them apart. I didn't have to look to know that our knuckles were white from all the squeezing. Everyone was sitting. Carlisle, Esme and my mom were sharing the sofa. My mom had a drink in her hand and so did Esme. My dad was in a chair, his head in his hands and Carlisle had his arm around his wife. The only sound was ice cubes clinking in glasses. Nobody was talking. Nobody was happy. We did this to them, and right now, we were only going to make it worse. Four pairs of eyes turned to us at once. "We're keeping the baby," Edward said and put both his arms around me as if he was holding me up. I didn't mind that at all.

And then, as if on cue all four of them stood up. No one spoke for so long and I avoided eye contact with all of them. My mom came over to me and pulled me from Edward. "We're going home, now."

"Renee," my dad said, still standing in his spot by the chair.

"No Charlie, we just discussed this. The decision is made."

"What decision?" I asked. She held me firmly by the arm but I could still feel Edward's hand on my back.

"You're coming to Florida," she said. "Its no good for you here. Obviously Charlie can't parent. You're finished doing whatever the hell you want. You need boundaries. You're coming home."

I backed away from her. She didn't make it easy to get away from her grasp. I felt her fingernails scrape my arm through my sleeve and I shook the pain away. "Forks is my home! I'm not going anywhere with you."

"Did you not hear me? You are a minor; you are my daughter; you will do as you're told." She grabbed the top of my arm and pulled on it like I was a child. I let her pull, but didn't budge. I turned to look at Edward. He was stiff-lipped and tightfisted. He looked like a statue.

"Dad," I said. "Tell her my home is here with you."

"Come on Bella, we'll talk about this at home. It's a family matter."

I searched his face for some indication that he was on my side, that he wanted me here, that he would help me. I didn't see any of that. I saw sad eyes and sad lips and even sad jowls. I saw defeat. And in Edward's face--panic. His eyes were darting around the room landing on everyone, one at a time. His mouth opened like he was about to say something but couldn't. I told my mom to let go of me. I would leave with them but she was not to touch me. As soon as she let go I took Edward's face in my hands. I didn't care who was watching, I needed to do this for him, give him my strength. Granted, it was false strength but he wouldn't know that.

"I'm not going to Florida with her," I whispered. I pulled his face closer to me until our eyes locked. "I won't," I said, "I will not."

Finally, he shook his head. "No, you won't."

Back at home again, we entered quietly and it felt different, colder. Edward wasn't there. I was on my own now. My mom let me know right away that the decision was made, I was living with her and Phil in Jacksonville and I wasn't keeping the baby. I searched my brain for some way out of this. When there is a baby growing inside of you that you intend to keep it limits your options.

"You're not going to decide this for me, mom. Edward and I made our decision. We are keeping our baby."

"Isabella, I will not discuss this anymore with you tonight. You think I'm going to stand here and listen to you tell me that you are going to ruin yourself? End your chances for a real life?"

"Dad," I tried, "my home is here with you. I don't live with Mom. This is my home."

"I can't be the parent that you need right now."

"You are the parent that I need, Dad. What are you talking about?"

"I trusted you," he told me, "and I was wrong."

"Don't say that." I was shaking my head at him and walking toward him, but he couldn't even look at me so I stopped.

"Go upstairs and start packing," my mom said. "We're leaving tomorrow."

"Tomorrow? You can't do this! I'm the mother of this child. I must have rights." But I didn't know for sure. I never had any reason to read up on minor parents and their rights. "Dad. What are my rights?"

My mom was not about to let him answer. "Bella, if you have this baby, you are throwing your life right down the garbage disposal. And it's going to hurt. You will be on your own. You will not get a penny from us."

This was my mother. The one who used to run to me when I fell down. The one who used to laugh with me like she was just a girl, too. The one who used to tell me ridiculous ghost stories that only scared her so she would have to sleep with me in my bed with the light on. Here she was.

I did go to my room, but not to pack, just to get away from them. I sank into my bed. "Edward," I said because I wished he was there. I turned to my window willing him to come through it. I don't know why because the tree right outside was weak and it was dangerous, but somehow I wanted him to come through it. He didn't.

I grabbed my phone and dialed his number. "Pick up. Pick up." He did.

"Bella?"

"Edward, they're making me go. Both of them! I can't go. What do I do?"

"Don't think about it," he said. "You're not going. We have time and I will figure this out. I will. Don't think of it." Did he not know that was impossible? I had no control over my thoughts. There was nothing else in my head but how to stay here with him and keep my baby safe--protect my baby from my own mother.

"There isn't time. She says we're leaving tomorrow."

He paused. "Do you want to go, Bella?"

"Of course not."

"Then you're not going. I'm on it. Get some sleep," he said.

"Don't hang up. Even if I fall asleep, don't hang up."

"I won't. I'll be here."

It was the only way I could have slept. No bed of clouds could have helped this night. Only Edward. In my clothes, on top of my covers, phone to my ear, Edward on the other end, I slept.

He must have heard me stir in the morning. "Bella? Are you awake this time?"

"Yes," I tried to say, but I couldn't find my voice. "Yes," I forced out.

"Good morning," he said and kind of laughed.

"Were there false alarms?"

"You kept saying my name. In your sleep. I'm coming over, but that means I have to hang up now, okay?"

"You're coming over?"

"I promise. I'll see you in fifteen." He hung up, and I felt all alone again.

I was still lying on my bed when my mom threw open the door, letting it hit the wall. Noticing I hadn't packed, she cursed at me and started opening suitcases, stuffing them with my things--whatever she happened to grab. I didn't help.

"Our flight leaves at 3:00." she told me.

"Edward's coming over," I said to the ceiling. It was the old popcorn kind. I hadn't noticed it before. The Cullens' ceilings were smooth. I had noticed that because they were all painted.

"He better not try anything stupid. Our tickets are non-refundable."

I looked down at my tummy, my baby. Everything was refundable. I left her packing in my room while I cleaned myself up in the bathroom. I didn't even change my clothes or glance in the mirror. I didn't care what I looked like. I ran downstairs when I heard the doorbell. My dad was still avoiding me, so I didn't look at him either when I passed the living room.

"Edward." I said, like I was convincing myself he was really there. He hugged and squeezed me. I touched the purple just under his eyes. "Did you sleep at all?" I asked.

"No," he gave me a kiss, then told me we needed some privacy. I took him to my room and asked my mom to leave us alone.

"Only if you finish packing," she said

I started grabbing things from drawers and stuffing them in a suitcase to let her see that I would pack. As soon as she left, I stopped.

"What's going on, Edward? What are we going to do?"

"You can move in with us, Bella. My parents don't have a lot but it's more than what you and I have right now."

I froze--stared at him. Move in? Live with Edward? Could that work? I wouldn't have to go to Florida if it worked.

"Oh, unless you d--"

"No, I do. But my parents will never allow it. My dad has completely given up and my mom has gone crazy with taking me away."

"They'll allow it."

"How do you know? And even if they did, what about _your_ parents?"

"It was my dad's suggestion. We talked while you were sleeping. Don't worry," he said, pushing my hair off my face. "I had my phone with me the whole time. My dad agreed that your mom was being unreasonable. He said she was trying to back everyone into a corner, so we're going to do the same thing to her." I thought about my mom being backed into a corner. I'd never seen her in a corner. She'd always been in front, in control.

"But I know my mom won't let me go. You didn't see her here last night."

He pulled a manila folder out of his backpack and handed it to me. I opened it.

"What is this?'

"It's information about emancipation, making you a legal adult."

"Emancipation?" I sat down on my bed, brought a hand to my forehead.

"Wait, Bella. You won't have to go through with it. Okay? It's the last straw. A scare tactic. Once you show them this, show them that you know you have options, they'll back off. Both of them. Your mom, too." I wondered if that would happen. Would my mom willingly put herself in a corner? Then I thought about how much it would hurt my dad just to show him these papers.

"I'll talk to them," I said. "I'll tell them right now, but you should go." I told him there was no way he wanted to be there if my parents figured out that all of this was his idea. He was reluctant to leave but finally said he would go as long as he could wait outside.

I heard him say goodbye to my parents and readied myself for my confrontation--readied myself for taking back control of my own life. I probably should have read the papers that Edward gave me, but I couldn't. I didn't have any comprehension capability at this point. The words didn't even look English to me. I called my parents by their first names into the kitchen, and told them to sit down at the table so we would all be at the same level. And then I announced that I was moving in with the Cullens.

"That's ridiculous," my mom said.

"No it isn't. I'm not going with you, Renee. And since Dad doesn't want me here, I'm going with Edward."

"Bella," my mom said. "I told you last night that you are no longer calling the shots and I meant it. You are absolutely not moving in with your boyfriend at seventeen."

"Yes I am."

"Charlie?" My mom said.

"Don't try to stop me, Charlie," I said and he flinched. "Do not force me to go with Renee."

"Charlie, we agreed," my mom said. "Okay. Bella, you are coming to Jacksonville. We'll talk about your pregnancy, your options, but you're coming with me."

I looked between the two of them, brought the papers from my lap and placed them on the table. "I know my options."

My dad opened the folder--read the top piece. "Bella? Emancipation? Is this necessary?"

"Apparently."

My mom was shocked into silence for the first time. Then she just started shaking her head over and over. "How could you do this to us, Bella?" She sounded disgusted.

I didn't ask her how she could do what she had already done. "This isn't about _us_," I said.

Renee lifted up the papers and shoved them at me. I didn't take them. "This is what you want?"

"No, it isn't what I want. I want to have my baby. I want to live in Forks. I want to be with Edward. I want my parents' support. I want to not be bullied by my own family." I left them in the kitchen and returned to my room to finish packing. But I wasn't packing for Florida, I was packing for Edward. I picked up my phone to call him. He was still right outside.

"I'm packing," I said. "We have to be quick."

"I'll be back soon with Jasper and his truck."

"Jasper knows?"

"He doesn't know the reason, Bella, don't worry."

"But, what about my truck? We can take mine."

"Your dad could stop us from taking it. I don't want to give your parents any more ammunition to stop us."

He really hadn't slept last night. He'd stayed up thinking of everything.

Jasper parked at the curb and waited in his truck while Edward and I packed up the back. His truck was much newer than mine. It was forest green with bumper stickers scattered about it touting issues of equality, peace, anti-discrimination (HATE, written in black surrounded by a big red circle with a line through it), UNICEF, and even a "Green is Good" sticker.

I heard _The Clash _playing from inside the cab even with the windows rolled up. Jasper was giving us privacy. Not even trying to look or listen. My mom remained inside, refusing to watch any of this. My dad was outside on the front porch attempting to talk to me or Edward each time one of us passed by him in our journey up and down the path carrying bags and suitcases. "Bella, let's talk about this," he said as I carried my small bag of toiletries passed him. I shook my head without looking at him.

"We tried to talk about it last night, Chief Swan," Edward said. "You were not willing to talk, then."

"Don't you do this to me, son," he said as Edward put my last suitcase in back of the truck. "Don't you take my daughter from me."

"I'm not taking anybody." His voice was calm and respectful, but his words held strength. He was looking right into my father's eyes, which was more than I could do. I had to look at Edward just so I could breathe. "Chief Swan, you and Renee were the ones who pushed her away. You were going to send her to Florida without even discussing it with her. Renee made her think her only choice was abortion. Everything was forced on Bella. This is a nightmare for her. Can't you tell when your daughter is scared? Because I can. I can tell just by looking at her."

In that moment, after that statement from Edward, I knew that any person who ever even thought that a teenager could not be more insightful than an adult was an idiot.

"We are trying to do what's best for Bella and her future," my dad said. "Think of Bella's future if you can't think of your own. You know how intelligent she is. You know what she's capable of. What she deserves."

"Whatever your intentions are, sir, you're hurting her. I've never seen her this hurt. Not even when she found out she was pregnant or when she was debating with herself whether or not to keep the baby. You and Renee are hurting her. I can't allow that and I sure as _hell_ will not help. If you have ever loved anyone remotely as much as I love your daughter, then you understand me."

I had never wanted to hug and kiss Edward more than I did just then, so I did. I went up to him right in front of my dad and pulled him into my arms, kissing his lips, and all over his face and his chest through his clothes. There was nothing erotic about it. It was pure love and appreciation that Edward was here on this earth just for me. I didn't want to stop kissing him. He held my face and kissed me, too, and then he hugged me tight. "Let's go," he said.

I finally brought my eyes to my dad. He was crying. He looked so small standing there in front of his house while he just let the tears flow, not even wiping them. I wasn't even sure if he knew they were there. He was surrendering, caving in, with his hands in his pockets and his chin on his chest--he was letting me go. I went over to him--gave him a hug. "I'm sorry, Dad."

"Me too," he said.

Edward and I climbed side by side into the truck and Jasper drove away without one question. "Hi Bella," he said as if nothing was wrong. As if he hadn't just witnessed my family falling apart. Alice and I, we were the lucky ones. I would call her later and remind her never to take Jasper for granted.

* * *

Review please :)

Be sure to read Carlisle's POV of this night. It's not really repetitive and does include new insight on his and Esme's relationship. Click on my profile link to find it.

FYI: Just in case you're interested, this is where the story began in my mind--with Renee blaming the pregnancy on the school and the marriage project. It brewed in my mind for about a month (sometimes I tried to ignore it) before I gave in and started typing away. I ended up toning that part down into summary, but the rest of this story and all the characters were built from that little tidbit (well, that and Stephenie Meyer, of course).


	13. Bell Jar, Interrupted

The Path We Chose

Chapter: 13 Bell Jar, Interrupted

My new room had light gray walls, one big window with dark gray silk curtains, and a matching comforter on the double bed. The throw pillows were midnight blue silk with thin black velvet vines sewn on. My old room didn't have throw pillows. My old room did have the teddy bear that now sat in between the two throw pillows-the bear that had apparently kept me from growing up. I tossed it off the bed, then stared at it lying upside down on the carpet for just a minute before picking it up and placing it gently in a corner. I patted its mink-soft head as though I had hurt its feelings. Teddy would live there on the floor until baby came. Then it would be hers or his, and he or she could sleep with it until the age of thirty-five or beyond for all I cared.

I had a wood dresser and matching nightstand, and a walk in closet that was way too big for my clothing collection. It looked empty the way my clothes all hung in less than a quarter of the closet. My two pairs of tennis shoes, old and worn in, one pair of black flats, and one pair of boots took up even less space than my clothes. I imagined it would get a little fuller once maternity and baby ensembles hung there, too.

Carlisle had made it clear during dinner, that Edward and I would not be sharing a room. I didn't know how that would be possible, but I could not argue. Carlisle had done so much for me. He had also clarified that, although he was not happy about the situation, it was very similar to his and Esme's and they would be as supportive as possible. Other than welcoming me, Esme had been extremely quiet and, like me, she had mostly just moved the chicken and rice around her plate rather than eat it. Another stipulation that Carlisle had laid out for us was that Edward would have to get a part-time job to help pay for the baby. He'd said that I would continue school until I started showing and then I would home school independently and hopefully graduate early. After Carlisle had said that, Esme started crying. She'd excused herself and Carlisle had followed her out of the kitchen. I'd looked questioningly at Edward, but he'd just taken my hand in silence.

Edward was with me now in my new room helping me put the last of my things away. My cell phone rang and a chill ran through my body thinking it might be my mom or dad. I looked at Edward and then at my phone before answering. "It's Alice." Edward let me have some privacy. I didn't need it, but he gave it to me anyway.

Unlike Jasper, Alice had questions. Her questions were not built of gossip or curiosity, but only concern. "What's happening, Bella?" Alice's voice was loud and panicked through the phone. I could almost see her eyes, round and black. "You and your dad…What is going on?" I couldn't tell her about the baby. Not yet. And not over the phone.

"I'll tell you everything soon; I just can't right now. Can you understand that?"

"Of course. I'm worried about you, though. I mean, you and your dad? Did he hit you or something?"

"It's nothing like that. We just didn't see eye-to-eye on some major things. He wanted me to move to Florida with my mom but I can't do that. I think he'll come around, though. I could see it in his eyes."

"Will you be at school tomorrow?"

"I think so. I plan on being there," I said.

"I love you, Bella. I'm here whenever you need me."

"I know, Alice. I love you, too. Alice?"

"Yeah?"

"Jasper, he's…well, he's one of the good ones-the best ones."

"Yes, he is." I could hear the smile in her voice.

"Never let him go. He's perfect for you."

"I wouldn't."

After I hung up, I took a shower. It was long and hot and I lifted my face so the water could blend with my tears and wash them away. It was strange for me, showering in that bathroom across the hall. It wasn't my bathroom. It felt temporary-like tomorrow I would be back at home in my own shower, in my own bed. But I no longer had either of those things. Nothing was my own anymore.

I slipped into a night shirt, combed through my hair, brushed my teeth, then knocked on Edward's door. "Good night," I said when he answered. He kissed me, walked me back to my room and told me he would lie with me until I fell asleep. We couldn't ignore Carlisle's wishes and spend the entire night together when he had done so much for us.

"What about you?" I asked Edward.

"I'll fall asleep easily once I know you're asleep." We were both on our backs, his arm around me, running his fingers over the top of my head. It was soothing. I closed my eyes.

"When did you know you wanted to keep the baby?" I asked.

"I'm not sure of the exact moment, but I kept thinking of my mom. If she had decided to follow her parents' wishes and end her pregnancy, I wouldn't be here right now."

That thought compelled me to turn over and hold tight around his waist-holding as close as possible, my head on his chest.

"Bella, I'm sorry about what happened. The way things went down. Maybe the situation could have been handled better, but we didn't have the time. I am so happy you're here. I couldn't have lasted one minute with you in another city, let alone another state. We can do this." He kissed my head, his fingers continuing their course through my hair. "We can," he said again as if he was trying to convince himself, too.

"I hope you're right," I said. "You will probably be the perfect father. I just hope I don't suck at being a mom."

He laughed. "Are you fishing for a compliment? Because I know that you know you could never suck at anything."

* * *

I woke up alone and early, well before the alarm went off. Slipping out of bed, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirrored closet door. The last couple of days had aged me some. My face was older-cheeks thinner, dark circles underneath my eyes. Maybe it was stress or maybe it was the pregnancy. This thought brought my hands to my stomach. I noticed I'd been doing that quite often, involuntarily. I would have to try hard not to do it at school. Edward and I had decided we weren't going to tell anybody yet. We weren't ready for that. I wasn't ready for that.

Something caught my eye through the mirror. There was a stack of books on my dresser, topped with a key. I went to them and under the key, found the first edition Velveteen Rabbit. I picked it up and set it in Teddy's lap in the corner. I knew it was meant for baby. I sifted through the other books; two Jane Austen's, one Bronte, and one Shakespeare: _A Midsummer Night's Dream_. They were all stories about strong women, save one that was built of magic and wonder.

Edward peeked his head in. "Ah, the sneaky book fairy," I said.

"I know you did not just call me a fairy." He was all the way in my room now. "We didn't have time to pack up your books, so..." He shrugged. "Uplifting stories are a rarity in classics-at least the ones I have. Authors like Dostoevsky and Tolstoy are just too dark and depressing for me to give to you as a gift right now. You're welcome to anything of mine you want, though."

I looked into his generous eyes and let him know that he had already given me enough, and that anything of mine was his, too. He kissed me and told me he had everything he wanted or needed in his arms. I loved hearing that, but I couldn't help but be reminded that he was only seventeen-even if he was what my grandma would have called an old soul. If he didn't feel it yet, I hoped he would never feel trapped. He was giving up so much for me and baby-not only his freedom and his future, but himself. In the last week, since the moment I asked him to buy me a pregnancy test, everything he had done had been for me. He was being completely selfless. Maybe that was what he wanted right now, but eventually, he would have to think of himself and I hoped and prayed he would not regret all of this. That was when I started feeling hot. A little too hot. Maybe I should have told him my fears then-been honest with him. Instead, I told him how much I loved having him there to greet me in the morning, which was also true.

In the school parking lot, before I even stepped out of Edward's car-still feeling hot and a little dizzy-Alice was there pulling at me. "Hi, Bella!" She hugged me and kissed my cheek-comforting me, and she didn't even know why. I should have said, hello, back. I should have thanked her but I didn't say anything. In the halls, I looked at the floor. Edward walked me to my French class, kissed me and told me he loved me. I still didn't say a thing. I didn't even tell him that I loved him, too.

I'm sure I didn't hear a word the teacher said in class. I heard the heat blowing from the ceiling. I heard papers crinkling and notebooks opening around the room. All of that was too loud. I was the only one who kept everything in my backpack. I sat at my empty desk, put my head down and didn't move. Walking the hallway again, it was worse without Edward. I felt like everyone knew about everything, like it was all written on my face, so I hid myself the best I could. The heels of my hands were against my forehead.

I walked right into warmth. "Jasper," I said.

"Bella? Are you sick?"

"Edward."

He put an arm around me and walked me through the halls. I don't know where we went; I wasn't watching. He brought me to Edward, though. Moved me right from his arms to Edward's

"Bella, what is it?" Edward said. I leaned against his chest until his arms enveloped me like I knew they would. "You look gray." I was cold but sweating at the same time, I could hear my own breathing and it was deep and heavy. Jasper must have disappeared. I didn't know where he went. He just wasn't there anymore.

I stood on tiptoe to whisper in Edward's ear, "I feel like everyone knows." My legs began to tremble so I lowered myself.

He bent down, giving me his green eyes. "Impossible. You haven't told anybody have you?"

I shook my head, "Not even Alice."

"Then nobody knows. We haven't said a word. I swear I won't say anything until you're ready. Okay?" He ran his hands down my arms and then drew me back into his body by my elbows. I locked my arms around his back. "Okay?" he asked again. He kissed my head and kept his lips there against my hair.

I saw Mike stop and look at me with concern in his eyes. Then he glared up at Edward, accusingly, as though Edward may have hurt me. I looked at Edward, too. His eyes were on me, as if Mike wasn't even there. No one else was there but me. I turned my head against Edward's chest, facing the wall, the lockers, away from Mike and everyone. Neither of us said anything and Mike finally left.

The final bell rang. We were late for class now, a class we didn't have together. I couldn't remember what class I had next. I thought it was World History, but I couldn't be sure. Maybe it was Literature. Had I gone to History yet? Whichever it was, I knew it wasn't Health with Edward. "This is so hard," I was clinging to him, my hands holding tight to the back of his shirt, my cheek against his chest. "I feel like I'm losing myself. I'm sinking. I don't want to be away from you. I can't be away from you. It's pathetic." I turned my face and rubbed my forehead against his chest; I wanted to feel the friction on my skin. I may have cried then. I know my breathing had grown even heavier thinking of going to some class without Edward. I looked up at him, his eyes still on me. They never left. "I don't know what it is. I feel panicked when you're not with me. Right now, the way you're holding me, it's all I want. Your arms." I reached up to touch them. "These arms, right here. I need them."

"They're here. I'm here," he said, and I knew I was crying then because he was wiping at my tears, but my tears kept coming faster than he could wipe them away, so he just gave me the arms I needed, wrapping me up tight, letting me soak his shirt. "Bella," he said. "Are you okay?" Somehow I remembered we were still at school. We were standing outside of a classroom and I was crying. I had to get control of myself. I took a deep breath.

"I don't know-There's been so much going through my head since this morning. I'm afraid of everything, even my own thoughts. Why can't I just be afraid of spiders like normal girls? You know, when my friends in Phoenix would run from spiders in the house or squash them with their shoes, I picked the critters up with my fingers and freed them, even the big ones-and spiders come really big in Arizona. All my friends would screech and covered their eyes. I didn't give it a second thought. And now, I can't even face what's in my own mind." His hands were rubbing my back, trying to calm me. It worked a little bit. My breathing was steadying.

"I think it was too soon for you to come back," he said. The sound of his voice soothed me further. "You should be resting. You've been through a lot more in the last few days than most people go through their entire lives. You are strong, Bella. You just need rest."

He took me to the nurses office to excuse me for the rest of the day. He didn't let go of me the entire time because I wouldn't let him. I held on tightly around his waist and both of his arms were wrapped around my shoulders and he kissed my head or my face every so often. I didn't feel strong at all. I felt like if he let go of me I would spill into a puddle on the yellow linoleum. The janitor could come by and mop me right up. "Please don't let go of me," I said.

"I'm not letting go of you, Bella. Don't worry." Edward had to excuse himself, too so he could drive me home.

He opened the car door for me and we both knew he had to let me go. He hugged me close before releasing me to my seat. He kissed the back of my hand and the inside of my wrist then closed my door. I had never felt so out of control of myself. I almost started crying again out of frustration. I really didn't want Edward to see me like this, but at the same time I needed him. I swallowed my sobs as he came around to the driver's side. He started the car then, but he couldn't hold me because he needed to work the gearshift so he took my hand and linked it at his elbow. Once he was at a steady speed, he wrapped his arm around me, pulled my head to his shoulder, and rubbed up and down my arm with his thumb. Rain fell against the windshield. The wipers pushed it off. I wanted to roll down the window, stick my head out and let the rain land on my face, but I didn't move. At his house, he brought me to the round kitchen table where I let my cheek fall to the wood. He knelt next to me, his arm still around my waist as I sat in the chair. He brought his cheek to the table, too, facing me. "Bella, love, are you alright, now? Can I make you something to eat?"

"Yes, please."

He kissed my temple then brought me a big glass of water and told me, drink. He made me tomato bisque soup for lunch because it was my favorite. I think I fell asleep, head on the table, for a little while. He brought two bowls of soup over and ate with me. I felt a little better with each bite I took. The thoughts racing through my mind were slowing down, breaking apart like clouds, drifting off, quieting. I ate some more, not even caring that I slurped in front of him. It made him smile to watch me, though, which in turn, made me smile. He touched my smile, happy to see it. "You're feeling better," he said, and I was.

"Are you real?" I asked him.

He laughed. "Are you?"

I racked my memory for all the times I had seen other people speaking directly to him right in front of me. I had to make sure that I wasn't schizophrenic and he wasn't my other, more stable, more worldly, and more knowing self.

"Tell me about the spiders in Arizona," he said.

I told him about the tarantulas, big and hairy and harmless, who liked to find their way into homes. I told him about the black widows, the only spiders I wouldn't touch, and who usually stayed outside in dark corners. And I told him about the small jumping spiders who leap on their pray. I thought they were cute, the way they jumped. He laughed at that. He had probably never heard a girl call a spider cute.

"Afraid of puppies but you like spiders?" He shook his head at me.

"Bella," he said as I slurped some more at my tomato bisque. He leaned across the table, taking the spoon from my mouth and pushing my bowl aside. "Just so you know…" His eyes sought mine as his hands found my arms and rubbed them roughly, "I need these arms, too. " His hold tightened. "I _need _them." He moved closer to me, kneeling on the floor again. We were eye-to-eye. "I need these lips," and he kissed them. "And these eyes." He kissed my eyelids. "And this nose. And this neck." He tilted my chin with his finger, traced a line down my throat, then kissed it. "And both of these ears." He took my earlobes into his mouth one after the other, I felt his tongue both times. And then we were up, leaving the kitchen a mess, scrambling to his room. We barely made it through his bedroom door before yanking each other's clothes off. We couldn't get them off fast enough and our kisses and touches were feverish and frenzied. It didn't matter that our mouths and tongues didn't match up because we were both just taking what we needed and giving back whatever we could.

He only paused once as we stood at the edge of his bed. He pulled back from me and I stepped toward him with my eyes still closed, reaching with my lips, but he stopped me with his hands against my face. I opened my eyes. "Please don't feel pathetic, Bella, because I need you as much as you need me."

He showed me and then I showed him and then we showed each other at the same time how much one needed the other. His kisses were fire on my skin. They burned. I wanted more. The fiery kisses at my neck, my stomach, the inside of my thigh brought tears to my eyes but I didn't let them spill. "I love you," I said. "Thank you. I love you." I said it again just to make sure he heard it. I hadn't said it earlier. He answered me with more kisses. His kisses and his tongue, they didn't stop. Not for a second. And then, for the first time since we found out I was pregnant, we did exactly what had delivered us into our situation in the first place. Except, this time we didn't even bother with a condom.

Afterward, he played Debussy softly through his stereo, wrote a note, taped it to his door and turned the lock, before returning to me, entangling our naked bodies together like a braided rope.

"What did the note say?" I asked against his chest.

His answer breezed the top of my head. "Do not disturb. We are just sleeping." I felt him shrug, "It's true now." And then he ran his fingers down my hair, over and over, until I fell asleep. We both slept the rest of the day and through the night undisturbed.

* * *

Review, please. :)


	14. Resurrecting Hope

A/N: Thank you all for your reviews. I do appreciate the time you take with them! Thank you for the recs, too! That means a lot to me.

* * *

The Path We Chose

Chapter 14: Resurrecting Hope

The one problem with sleeping naked and tight against another naked body for hours and hours on end, is that you both perspire. We woke up just before 5:00 AM to a pool of sweat that had gathered between our bellies, and sheets so wet beneath us I almost wondered if I had peed the bed. I was surprised we could even disengage ourselves, we were that sticky. It might seem like an embarrassing situation, but since his baby was already growing inside me, and he had seen and kissed parts of my body I couldn't even see, I found it more funny than embarrassing.

He let me use his shower first, but grabbed my hand before I entered. "You're welcome," he said. "And, thank _you_."

"What?"

"You kept thanking me in your sleep," he said. "You must have said, thank you Edward, twenty times. I wanted to thank you, too." He kissed my lips then my sweaty neck.

After my shower, he took his and I sneaked back to my room, wrapped in a towel and carrying yesterday's clothes.

We still had an hour before it was time to leave for school. I made pancakes. Stacks and stacks of pancakes. And it wasn't until then that I remembered the mess of soup and pots and dishes we had left for little elves to clean up. So I made even more pancakes. I had twenty split between two serving plates (not including the two I ate while cooking-I had slept through dinner, after all). Carlisle and Esme ate with us at the round kitchen table. They didn't say anything about our being locked away in Edward's room for sixteen hours, which made it difficult for me when I thanked Esme for cleaning our mess. I didn't want to be the first to bring it up. Esme said it was no bother.

"Bella didn't feel well yesterday," Edward said. "She needed rest and food. She was so tired, she could barely walk on her own." He drew his hand down my hair, then tucked some stray strands behind my ear. I was reminded of how I hadn't let him let go of me at school and realized that he had practically carried me out to the car. I had no recollection of my feet touching the pavement.

Carlisle reached over and felt my forehead and my cheeks. "Have you seen a doctor yet?" I shook my head. "I'm going to make you an appointment with the best obstetrician here in Forks. Her name is Dr. Denali. She is a very gentle lady and will answer any questions you have."

"Thank you," I said and looked down. I knew that would continue to be the most frequent phrase leaving my lips for quite some time.

"Bella," Carlisle's hand was on mine, holding my fingers, "you do not have to feel like a burden or that you are unworthy of any of this." Esme took Carlisle's other hand in a proud gesture as Carlisle continued. "Your baby is our grandchild, and Edward loves you. You are a part of our family now and we help family. You may thank us if it makes you feel better, but it is never necessary."

Edward started tracing lines up and down my back with his fingers letting me know he agreed. Esme lifted a hand to her son's face, her other hand still in Carlisle's. We were all sitting around the table touching in some way and I wasn't sure anybody noticed but me. I smiled on the outside, but on the inside, a part of me was sad. I was happy to hear those words from Carlisle, but at the same time, I wished they had come from my own father.

"Thank you," I said again because I couldn't not say it. "Thank _you _for the pancakes, Bella," Esme said,. She had reclaimed both of her hands and was patting the corners of her mouth with her napkin.

Carlisle said they were delicious, pulling his hand away from mine to finish eating. Then it was just Edward's hand on my back, not moving, just there, touching. I smiled at him because I loved that he always felt the need to touch me just as much as I desired his touch. He smiled back.

After my good long sleep, tucked away with Edward, school was easier to get through, even if I couldn't have Edward at my side for most of the day. I was able to keep my head up and even pay attention in class. Edward met me in the hall at the end of every class and asked me too many times throughout the day how I was doing. I had to snap at him to get it through his head that I was fine. That, of course, made him doubt me all over again. Yesterday had scared me. I was afraid of growing too dependent on Edward. I needed to stand on my own feet like I always had. At lunch he gave me space, but brought the back of my hand to his lips to let me know he was there. I did the same for him.

It was the class we most looked forward to that became the hardest to get through-Health. Even though it was our favorite class because it was the only one we shared, the curriculum had turned to safe sex, and we were stuck watching movies about teen pregnancy, statistics (apparently, that's what we were), different forms of birth control, and the promotion of abstinence. Edward didn't just hold my hand under the desks as he usually did. Instead he pulled my chair as close to his as possible and let me rest against him while he caressed my arm. It made us both feel better and we didn't care who was watching. Jessica kept sneaking glances at us over her shoulder. When my eyes caught hers again, I smiled at her and waved, and Edward kissed my head. She stopped looking after that.

* * *

In the evenings, after my homework was done, I helped Esme with dinner. She insisted that it wasn't necessary, but I could tell-even if it exhausted me-that my help left her with more energy.

"Esme?" I said, stirring her Alfredo sauce over the stove. We were cooking for three. Carlisle was at the hospital.

"Hmm?" She sprinkled some rosemary into the pot.

"Are you feeling better?"

"What do you mean?"

"About our decision-mine and Edward's. My mom hated the choice we made and it seemed to make you very sad."

She lowered the heat on the stove and took my hand. "Come here, Bella." She brought me to the kitchen table and sat across from me-leaned forward a little, her arms resting against the table. "Your decision never made me sad. I certainly had to mourn for your future and Edward's future, so changed. I know that I could have helped-prevented this-but I didn't. I chose not to and it was a conscious choice and I can't seem to forgive myself." She looked down at her hands. In that moment she seemed so young. She was young, but she seemed even younger…younger than me.

"How could you have helped?"

She took a deep breath and then looked over at me again. "I saw the two of you getting closer…spending so much time in Edward's room." Her eyes shifted away for an instant and then they were back, as green as Edward's. "I knew your mother wasn't a constant in your life anymore and I wondered if you were on birth control. I thought about talking to you about it on more than one occasion, but decided to wait until Edward opened up to me about your relationship. It was a foolish decision on my part, knowing what I know-going through what I've been through." Her eyes were watering. I hoped she wouldn't cry. I would have no idea what to do if she cried. Would I hug her? Take her hand? Rub her arm? What do you do to comfort the mother of your boyfriend? As it was, I wasn't even sure of what to say.

"Esme," I said and then paused, trying to come up with the right words-anything that would make sense. "I don't see how that was your responsibility or why you should take any of the blame for what happened."

"Well, I do. But hindsight never helps. What's done is done. Now, we just have to make the best of things." She smiled and I was more than relieved to see it. "As far as your decision to keep the baby goes, I think it was the right one. You know, when Carlisle and I first learned I was pregnant, both of our parents were pressuring us into abortion. Even my parents, and they were Christians. People go to extremes in situations like ours-when they feel out of control and lives are changed completely and unexpectedly. It takes time to adjust. Your mom may understand eventually."

"I'm glad you didn't listen to your parents."

She laughed. "Me too, and I never once regretted my decision."

"Were you scared?"

"I had never been more terrified. But I got through it, didn't I? Carlisle and I both did. You will surprise yourself, Bella. Once you see all that you are truly capable of you will wonder why you were ever scared in the first place." She came over and lifted me into a hug. "Come on," she said, guiding me back to the stove. "Let's finish dinner."

* * *

Thursday at lunch, Edward and I walked hand-in-hand into the cafeteria to see Emmett resting his head down on the table. As we took our seats, I gave Emmett a closer look. His arms were folded under his head and his eyes were closed-his breathing deep and steady. "Why is Emmett sleeping?"

"He pulled an all-nighter cramming for his Organic Chemistry exam," Rosalie said.

"He studies?"

"He studies like he has OCD when he has a test," she said. "He's so focused that if I say anything to him, he doesn't even hear me."

That was news to me. I hadn't even thought he needed to study.

"Look at this, Bella," Alice said. She reached over and put her hand on Emmett's arm.

"It's insane," I said. "He's the only person I know who can wear short sleeves in this freezing weather."

"No, I mean, did you see him move?" Alice asked.

"He moved?"

"No, that's my point. Now watch this." She took Jasper's hand and put it on Emmett's arm. Emmett's elbow nudged against Jasper's hand, but he didn't wake up. Alice laughed.

"Edward, try it," Alice said. She was getting a huge kick out of this.

Edward laughed and shook his head, but played along anyway-touched Emmett's arm. Emmett remained still. Alice laughed harder and told Jasper to touch him again. Emmett nudged against Jasper's hand again, and then we were all laughing.

Rosalie pulled herself together to say, "Stop torturing my boyfriend, Alice!" Then she kissed her boyfriend. It was the second kiss that woke him up and he was kissing her back. That made Alice's laughter start all over again.

"Have you been drinking, Alice?" I asked.

She shook her head, then smiled at me. "You look better, Bella."

"You do look better," Edward said. And then he leaned to my ear. "Eat," he whispered.

Emmett pulled his lips away from Rosalie. "Edward, you know, we need to talk."

"Later."

"_You may delay but time will not_," Emmett said to him.

"Emmett, later," Edward said again. I looked at him and he shook his head.

"Why do you think people procrastinate?" Emmett asked no one in particular. "Do you think it's because they're afraid of succeeding? I've heard that people are afraid to succeed because of all the responsibility it brings. I think it makes sense. It's so much easier to wish and dream than to actually reach a goal, raise expectations and your accountability to others."

"Seriously, man?" Jasper said. "This is how you wake up?"

"What do you think, Edward?" Emmett said. "Do you think people procrastinate out of fear?"

"All right, Emmett. I think sometimes it's out of fear. But people are multifaceted. Sometimes there may be reasons behind it that _you_ have absolutely no idea about." He pointed at Emmett when he said, you.

"What are you trying to say?" Emmett asked. His tone of voice was different. It wasn't his usual playful tone that he took on during a mind-wrestle. He sounded accusative and…offended?

I interrupted then. Maybe it was an attempt to ease the weird tension between Edward and Emmet: maybe it was an attempt to save Edward from a strange and drawn out mind-wrestle; maybe I just wanted to give Emmett a taste of his own medicine. "Emmett, how can the reason people procrastinate possibly be about fear if fear doesn't exist? Didn't you tell me once that you're not even convinced fear is real?"

"Ah, B," Emmett said, "You're fuckin' awesome!"

And _that_ successfully ended the procrastination conversation.

* * *

My dad was in uniform when he came by the Cullens' after school. Standing in the foyer, he handed me that familiar manila envelope, more tattered than I had left it. "Did you even read this?"

I shook my head.

"Bella, something like this, it's very expensive. How did you expect to afford a lawyer?" I didn't have an answer for him. I had never planned on going through with it. What would he say if I told him it had only been a threat? I thought about what Esme had said to me about people going to extremes in times of desperation. I was guilty of that, too. We all were. Looking at him now, I felt awful for what I'd put him through. He looked like he hadn't slept since I'd last seen him. His eyelids looked as though they were caving in-like it was a struggle for him to keep them open.

"I phoned Renee, she's not happy about any of this. She's downright furious, still, but she has agreed not to force you into or out of anything. We were both wrong. She may not see it, but I do. Bella, you're my daughter and I love you. You're welcome to come home with me without worrying about being sent to Florida."

I thought about what he was offering. Go back home. Back with him-life, regular again. Except it wouldn't be regular because everything was different now.

"Is this what you want, Bella? Do you want to live here with them?"

I didn't know if this was what I wanted. Five days ago it was my only choice. I had never wanted to leave my dad or move out, but I had to. Now, he was letting me choose. "I don't know if it's what I want, but Edward, the baby and me all in the same house seems like the best idea."

He nodded. "I thought that's what you would say. I brought you something." He went back outside and returned with my down mattress and comforter. My eyes widened when I saw it. I couldn't remember the last time I smiled so big. I helped him carry it upstairs and he set it up on my new bed for me. Once the bed was remade, we both sat down on it, all the fluff molding around us. He was delighted to see that my room was separate from Edward's. I was delighted that he was here bringing me something he knew I loved-something I hadn't even paused long enough to miss. It was touching and sweet and showed me without words that he had accepted my decision. I gave him an appreciative hug. He said he wanted to talk to me about his intentions the night my mom decided to take me to Florida.

"I know your mother well. Maybe better than anybody. I was aware of the depths she would dive to if she thought she was doing the right thing for you. I also knew you had your rights, as you said, and that no doctor would take your baby without your consent. While you were outside with Edward that night we were all here, Renee was adamant about taking you with her and talking some sense into you. She had me convinced she could do it and that in the long run you would be happier for it.

"I had failed you. I couldn't trust my instincts anymore with you. So much of what I do at work involves instinct and gut feelings, and I couldn't use any of that when it came to my own daughter. Renee had raised you this far and you hadn't faltered until you moved here with me." I flinched at the word "faltered". "So I agreed that you could go with her to Jacksonville for your, um, your abortion. She said you would need her more than ever after that. This was before we knew what you and Edward had decided.

"Carlisle was politely disagreeing. He insisted that things were not as impossible as we made it sound. That they had both been where you are now, and they made it through. Renee's argument was that they were the exception, not the rule, and our daughter would not be an experiment in sociology. It wasn't until you and Edward returned to the house holding hands, that I knew you were resolute in your decision, but Renee couldn't see it. She still thought if she could get you to Jacksonville, talk to you, she could make you understand.

"That night, after you went to bed, I questioned our rash decision but she convinced me again that you were too young to know yourself and that she could help you see that-you would understand. She loves you, Bella. She's protective of you and she thought she was in the right. Trust me, Charlie, she said, I know what I'm doing. I weakened, Bella, and I am sorry. Only one other time in my life did I weaken like that and it was when Renee left me and took you, my only daughter, with her." He stood up tall and tugged at the corner of his mustache. "Both of the weakest points in my life involved you, and for that I am sick with myself. It won't happen again. I'll be here for you. I will help you financially, and you will get through school and even college if that's where you're headed. You have your college fund, and these days, many colleges have daycare right on campus. It won't, perhaps, be your ideal college or the great one you would have made it to if things were different but it's not impossible." He returned to sit by my side on the bed and put an arm around me. I leaned in. "Bella, all I ask is that you not stay away. Come and see me every once in a while. And I want you to know that you are always welcome to move back anytime. Your room isn't going anywhere."

That's when I noticed how utterly alone he was. I had left him all alone in his house. I promised him then that I would visit. We could make it a weekly thing. As we headed out of my room, I dropped the manila envelope into the trash can by my door.

Edward was at the bottom of the stairs. He stiffened when he saw my dad, looking for something in his face. He found it and relaxed.

"Edward," my dad said, and hugged him. "You are good to my daughter. Thank you." Then he pulled away, his fatherly expression back, eyes less droopy, stronger. "Don't hurt her."

Edward and I were still in shock when my dad left. We stared at the door then we turned to each other, smiling, and embraced. It took me about three minutes before I decided to call my mom. The scene I had just witnessed gave me the confidence I needed. I ran to my room alone to make the call.

She didn't say hello when she answered. "What do you want? I'm running late." I wondered what she could possibly be running late for. Did she get a job since last we spoke?

"N-nothing, I just thought…I thought we could talk." I sat down on my bed-chewed on my finger nail.

"I really don't have time to get into it with you right now. You know how I feel. I've told you over and over again throughout your life what a mistake it was when I got married so young, and you, you're having a baby. One day you're going to realize what your life could have been and it will be too late. You made your choice. You can stumble your own way through it."

"Mom."

"I have to go."

"I won't call again," I said, and hung up by hurling my phone across the room as hard as I could. I worried more about the dent I'd made in the wall than the phone.

I walked to Edward's room. His head was bent over a text book on his desk when he turned to look at me, eyes expectant, waiting for me to talk. I just shook my head and he came to me quickly and hugged me close. I hugged him back.

"I think I broke my phone." I held him tight just in case he thought about releasing me. I didn't understand why we couldn't stay like this all the time. Did we really need food and school and other people? "And I dented the wall."

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"_You may delay but time will not_" -Benjamin Franklin, quoted by Emmett.


	15. Truth

**Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. I'm just an uninvited guest swimming in her pool.**

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The Path We Chose

Chapter 15: Truth

Edward and I couldn't have known that today signified more than our first doctor's appointment. It had been a month since that day in the park when we found out about baby. We strolled into the waiting room just as Rosalie was turning from the counter with a case of birth control pills in her hand. If Edward had not been there with one arm around my shoulder and a hand on my stomach, I could have played this off. Instead, we all froze. Rosalie was stuck in her spot, mid-stride. I looked up at Edward and I'm sure my face was white. I could _feel_ how white it was. His head shot from me to Rosalie and back to me again. I gave him one nod and took a seat, willing the color back into my face, while he crossed to the still-gaping (and perhaps, not breathing), Rosalie. I heard him softly say, "call the others…my house…" And then she hugged him, held him long and tight--kissed his cheek. He came back to sit next to me, but called Rosalie's name before she was out the door. "Don't say a word," he said.

"I won't say anything." She looked at me and the right side of her lips lifted into a quarter-smile, like she wasn't sure if she was allowed to smile or not. Then she left. I rested my head on Edward's shoulder. We didn't talk about Rosalie or what we would say to our other friends. Ready or not, it was happening.

The waiting area was bright with vases of fresh flowers scattered around. It looked cheerful while I was full of dread thinking of how we were about to let our friends down the same way we had let our parents down.

Dr. Denali was as gentle as Carlisle had described. She was soft spoken and her deep, thoughtful eyes let me know that she was on our side. She wasn't judging us for being young or questioning what kind of parents we could possibly make. Parent…what a strange thing to think of myself. I used to be kid, student, girlfriend, but now I was parent.

My stomach exposed, covered in warm liquid, Dr. Denali rolled some strange device across my stomach. "This is called a transducer," she said, "it transmits high frequency sound waves so we can view the inside of your abdomen. We will measure your baby and determine your due date." She turned the screen toward us and showed us our baby. At this point, baby consisted of black and white blobs. She said our baby was healthy and due in October. October 13th. Yes, I did the math right there on the gray exam chair. We had conceived in January. But nothing…nothing…was more powerful than hearing baby's heartbeat. The heartbeat was there. The heartbeat was real. Edward and I had _made_ that heartbeat. I closed my eyes and listened.

Before we left, Dr. Denali gave us an ultrasound photograph to take with us. "This is your baby," she smiled.

"Yes it is," I said. Edward kissed my cheek and grinned.

Edward and I posted the picture on the wall in my room right over the dent I had made with my phone. Then we waited for our friends to arrive. They arrived in pairs just as we knew they would.

This announcement had already been made twice, and we'd been standing up both times. This time I was determined to sit down. I took a seat; we all did. Rosalie was on Emmett's lap on Carlisle's chair. Jasper was sitting on the armrest of the sofa next to Alice who was next to me. Edward was on my other side with his hand on my leg. We all sat and acted like there was nothing to be said until Edward said it.

"Bella's pregnant and we're keeping the baby." He said it on one breath so there would be no questions. All eyes were on me all at once so I stood up. I had to. Otherwise, I would have shrunk and disappeared into the sofa. Alice had both of her hands over her mouth. Jasper's jaw had dropped. Rosalie, who's expression hadn't changed, was lifted like a feather off Emmett's lap as he stood up and started pacing the room. Alice came to me and put both of her arms around me. Nobody had said a word yet. Edward was the only one left sitting. I hugged Alice back because it seemed she needed more comfort than I did.

"We aren't ready for it to become public yet," Edward continued when nobody said anything. "The only reason we're telling you all now is because…well…Rosalie ran into us at the doctor's office. So, please, just don't talk about it at school. We can't have people finding out, even accidentally." He looked up at me and I smiled at him.

"Bella-" Alice began, but was interrupted by Emmett yelling. It startled her so much that she released me and jumped back.

"Are you serious, Edward?! What about…everything!" Emmett had stopped pacing and was just glaring down at Edward. Rosalie took a few steps toward her big bulk of a boyfriend.

And then no one was left sitting. Edward stood instantly, shooting Emmett a pointed look--narrowed eyes and a shake of his head. I could not let that go.

"What is everything?"

"You are, Bella. You are everything." Edward reached an arm out for me.

"Don't patronize me!" I stepped out of his reach.

"I'm not. You are everything. What I used to think was important just isn't anymore. It's nothing, please forget it."

"You know I can't do that."

He was just shaking and shaking his head at Emmett, who glared back at him. Then Emmett turned his anger toward me. "Oh, you're kidding me!" He took one step toward me and I took three steps back. "You two are supposed to be in love and all that, and he didn't even tell you about Stanford? We've only been working towards it for--"

"Hey, hey," Jasper said, holding his hands up. But he was not heard. Edward flew at Emmett. Emmett was standing on the other end of the sofa and Edward flew. His feet couldn't have touched the ground. All I could do was stare. Stanford. He hadn't told me. We never talked about college at all. It seemed so far away, but suddenly, now, it wasn't.

_You may delay but time will not_. I remembered the quote that Emmett had recited to Edward a couple of weeks ago in the cafeteria. All his talk about procrastination. And then I was reminded of all the times Emmett had tried to talk to Edward and Edward had made a joke of it or just ignored it. And that time when Emmett said he wanted to talk to me about college… Edward had purposely been keeping this from me.

Rosalie's scream and the crash of breaking glass brought me back to the Cullens' living room. Through a fog I remembered seeing Edward and Emmett fighting. The two of them rolling around on the floor, and as big as Emmett was, Edward was holding his own. Then Emmett was pushed into the coffee table, knocked it over and it shattered against the wood floor. That, paired with Rosalie's scream shocked them both, pausing their fight. Alice was behind the couch with Jasper, covering her eyes. Edward stood, bent over, hands on his knees, panting. The corner of his lip was bleeding. He wiped it with the back of a finger, then returned his hand to his knee. Emmett was upright, not a bit out of breath, as if nothing had happened--except he was still glaring at Edward.

"How could you do this, man? You didn't even talk to me. This was our plan." He groaned. "I knew something was up when you stopped talking about it. I guess I'm on my own now." He wasn't even upset about their fight--just their college plans down the drain like dirty bathwater. Rosalie put her hand on Emmett trying to calm him. It's really hard to imagine a big guy like that tearing up, but his eyes were glassy. He brought his thumb and index finger to his face, pressing against his tear ducts. I wondered if he could even feel Rosalie's hand, it looked so tiny on his big bicep.

Jasper left Alice's side and rounded the sofa until he stood between Edward and Emmett, holding his arms out at both of them.

"Don't touch me, man," Emmett said to Jasper.

"Okay, we can talk about this. Just…calm…the fuck…down." That was probably the most peaceful way anyone had ever used the word "fuck" before. It could have meant love, the way he said it.

"Yeah," Edward said to Emmett. "What about J? You won't be on your own."

"No," Jasper said. He was shaking his head but both his arms were still out. He wasn't dropping his guard yet. "I tried, but I don't have the grades."

"What? I didn't know that."

"Well, you wouldn't," he said, letting his gaze fall from Edward to me.

I felt so small in that moment, like one of those tiny shards of glass by our feet. Maybe there was something else one of them could say to shatter me further. Just step on me until all that was left was dust. I knew what I was being accused of. I had come into this tight-knit group just to tear them apart. I started backing away. Somebody said my name. Maybe a few people said my name.

"Don't follow me," I said to no one in particular, or everyone. I went into the utility room, grabbing for a broom, dustpan and wastebasket.

When I returned, Rosalie and Emmett were gone, Jasper had a hand on Edward's shoulder, talking to him, and Alice was sitting on the sofa. I started with the bigger pieces first, picking them up and tossing them in the basket. "Bella, don't, you'll cut yourself," Edward said. I gave him a look that told him to back off. I didn't care if I cut myself at this point. I saw him step back, as if my eyes had pushed him, as if they had a force that strong.

Alice started helping me. I heard her sniffle. Jasper and Edward silently joined us in picking up the glass. The only sounds heard were the clunking and clinking of glass pieces as they were tossed and swept. I felt Edward touch my arm and I pulled away like he had electrocuted me. I couldn't feel his touch just then. I would have cried. I didn't want to cry. I had done enough of that.

After the glass was cleaned up, and thoroughly vacuumed, Alice hugged me. "I'm here for you," she said, and I nodded even though I couldn't let her be. Not anymore. She belonged to Edward and Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett, not me.

She told Jasper it was time to go, that Edward and I needed privacy, but Jasper said he needed to talk to me first. "Do you mind, Bella?"

He guided me out the front door with a hand between my shoulder blades. I avoided Edward's gaze as we passed him. Jasper and I sat on the porch under Esme's wisteria as we looked out at her daffodils, dahlias and red geraniums all barely in bloom among the ferns that she let grow naturally. Beyond that, the forest filled with wild, native plants that I didn't have all the names for. I couldn't look that far. I focused on the familiar. What was near. Jasper rubbed my back and I turned to him. His eyes, even through the hair falling over his eyebrows, were so bright blue and full of what looked like regret. "Bella, I know what it looked like in there, but you have to forget what you think you saw."

"What I _think_ I saw?" I yelled. It was the first time I had ever yelled at Jasper and I felt instantly bad and lowered my voice. It didn't matter that he was touching me, with or without his calming warmth, I never wanted to yell at Jasper. "Are you saying that Emmett and Edward didn't just fight because Edward has thrown his life away for me?"

"No, I'm not talking about the fight. I'm talking about the fact that you think he has thrown his life away and it's your fault. I could feel you, Bella, in there. I could feel you backing away, and I don't mean literally." He removed his hand from my back, his gaze was on the forest ahead. He knew what his simple touch could do. Whatever he was going to say, he wanted me to hear it without the influence of his touch. "It's true, Edward hasn't been around as much since you and he became friends but that's natural. In a new relationship, one as strong as yours, it's normal to retreat into your own world. Alice and I do it all the time. But you. You're in an impossible situation. I mean, not impossible," he shook his head, "but unpredictable. You can't please everyone. You can't. You and Edward have to do what is right for you. You know that, don't you?"

"I know," I said. "But Edward, he has given up so much already. How can he give up something like Stanford? That sort of opportunity--it's rare. You don't know how scared I've been knowing what Edward has already given up for me. And now this? Stanford? He deserves that, Jasper. And if he doesn't get the chance, you can't tell me that he won't regret it someday. Maybe even resent me. That is my worst fear."

"I understand, Bella. I also know that Edward chose you months ago. He fell in love with you and we were all happy for him and for you--Rosalie, aside. He chose you, because he wanted to. He was never forced. He _wants_ you. He's happy with you and he's sticking by you. Just let him talk to you. Let him tell you himself. Whatever he decides to give up--you're worth it, Bella." He squeezed my shoulder like I saw him do for Edward earlier, then he looked at my stomach giving it a nod. "You're both worth it."

And just like only Jasper could do, he had given my thoughts a complete one-eighty. "There should be more people in the world like you, Jasper. And I don't mean your special gift, whatever it is. I just mean you."

"Back at ya," he said and gave me a one-armed squeeze. I kissed his warm cheek, and went inside to kiss Alice's cool cheek and then went straight to Edward.

"Thank God," he said on a breath of relief. He welcomed me against him kissing my hair and my temple, my cheek, my jaw and my lips, then moved me to the sofa where he could get me closer. I felt his heart pounding in his chest so hard I wondered if it hurt him. He really had been scared. "I thought I was losing you. I'm sorry, Bella. I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

"How long have you been planning on Stanford, Edward? Don't sugar coat it, please. Just be honest. I need honesty."

"Emmett planned on it first, probably at birth. Jasper and I didn't decide to join him until seventh grade when we took a trip to California with his family. His dad was all about Stanford, his Alma mater. He took us to Palo Alto and bought us all Stanford t-shirts. I think Emmett has a Stanford shirt for every size he's ever worn. Funny thing is, I've never seen him actually wear one. After Palo Alto, his dad took us to San Francisco, the best city I've ever visited. Have you been there? It's beautiful. Even at thirteen, I knew that. Emmett's dad made Stanford sound exciting and almost unattainable. It was my perfect challenge."

"Maybe you can still do it."

He just shook his head. "I was depending on a scholarship. I can't afford it. It's not for me, not anymore, and it's fine Bella, it is. These last twenty minutes of not knowing how you felt or what you were thinking was harder to get through than distinguishing my Stanford plan."

"Your Stanford dream, Edward. Just don't give up on it. Maybe we can figure something out. We have time. Look at your dad, medical school and everything _after_ you came along. It can't be impossible. You've given up so much already."

"It is nothing. I'm telling you, please believe me. As long as I have you I have not given up a thing. Really, I wouldn't call it a dream. Like I said, it was a challenge. I have other challenges now."

I didn't say anything. I was still thinking of some way to get him to Stanford. It was the least I could do.

"Bella, I have to tell you something. I didn't want to say anything but maybe if I do you will understand why I will go to any lengths I have to for you and our baby."

I turned to look in his eyes. What could he possibly have to say? Was it worse than the Stanford thing? I thought about asking him not to tell me. I didn't want to be angry or sad or hurt. I had just been through it. Too soon. But I didn't want anymore secrets between us.

"That day in the park when you took the tests. I was racking my mind for what could have gone wrong, and I remembered something. One night in January, I pulled out, but the condom wasn't on me. I was in such a hurry, I must not have put it on properly. I had to pull it out of you. I didn't say anything. Honestly, I really didn't think anything of it, but if I had--I don't know, maybe you could have taken the morning after pill or something. This is probably my fault and there is nothing I won't do to make it right."

I brought a hand to his face. His poor, sad face. He leaned against my palm. He needed to feel me, too. "Edward, I know that. I felt it when you pulled it out. I didn't think anything of it either. Even if you had told me, I wouldn't have thought anything was wrong. It's not your fault. Besides, we really can't be sure if that was the night or not. There were a lot of nights in January…" Then something else occurred to me. "Wait a minute." I pulled my hand from his face and stood up all in one motion. His hands dropped down my waist to the sides of my knees "Every decision you've made has been based on guilt?"

He stood up with me. That irritated me. Why couldn't he just let me tower over him for once? "No. Every decision I've made has been based on love. The guilt was always there, following, but the love was guiding, leading."

"Edward, I love you, I do, but I need some time away. You've been keeping things from me and I feel like I'm being pushed back and forth. I don't even know where to stand. I'm going to go to my dad's tonight, alone. The way you've handled everything from the moment I asked you to buy me a pregnancy test…it's just all been so unreal. I'm grateful to you, so grateful, but I'm scared. I've been scared. I'm afraid you're going to wake up one day and realize everything you've given up, possibly out of guilt." I turned away. I was afraid to look at his eyes--scared I would see that guilt. I headed toward the door and my backpack still sitting in the foyer.

"Don't go yet." He followed me. "Stay. Let's talk about this."

"I have to. I need to just…think."

"Do you want me to drive you?" If he drove me, he might find some way to stay with me and I really needed some time to myself. I told him I would take my truck. "Come back to me?"

"Of course I will."

"Tonight?"

I didn't answer. I was unsure of my answer.

He pulled me into a hug, rubbing my back, and what he said next almost kept me right there in his arms. I felt his words on my shoulder and my neck. "Just remember the grapes, Bella, and our own homecoming night with The Cliffs, and our two first kisses. How many couples get _two_ first kisses? Remember the night we shared the best words we will ever hear, and remember us, in your bed that first time. Things have been rough lately, but we will get back there...we will." Then he pulled back so he could look into my eyes, his hands resting on my shoulders. "I don't think I say it enough. I don't say it because I feel it all the time in every bone of my body, in my blood, and every time I look at you or think of you. I feel it so deeply that it's become a part of me. It's like breathing and I don't think to say it because it just always is. I love you. I love you with my whole heart. Feel that." He held his arm out and I felt. "It's in my skin. It's permanent. I can't stop it and I wouldn't want it to stop. I am the grateful one because I have you to love. I _get_ to love you." I opened my mouth but he stopped me with a finger on my lips. "Don't say anything back. I know you love me, too, but these words are for you. You deserve to hear them."

I opened my mouth again to speak and again he stopped me, and laughed because he knew I really wanted to talk. "One more thing. Remember that night outside this house when we knew we were keeping our baby." He brought his hand to my stomach--still flat, but so full. "Even though, on the surface, that was one of the hardest nights of both of our lives, it was also the most significant. It was the night we made the most important decision we will ever make, and it was the best decision we could have made."

That did it. I cried. The tears that had been building since Emmett had yelled at me were finally free. "Edward, why didn't you stop at 'just remember the grapes?'" I said laughing and crying at the same time. "And you're right, deciding to keep our baby was the best decision we could have made. I'm glad it never occurred to either one of us for me to take the morning after pill. I would be empty right now."

Our lips met like magnets, me reaching up and him leaning down at the same time. We gave each other the kiss we both needed. It was soft. It was tender. It was air. It was our oxygen. I thought I saw him grimace at the end. And then I forced myself to leave his embrace, turned and headed toward the door. He pulled my back to him one more time, brushed my hair aside and pressed his lips to the back of my neck. It gave me goose bumps and I felt his love on my skin, too. He released me and his voice was the last thing I heard before I closed the door.

"Come back."

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Edward, Edward, Edward...what were you thinking?


	16. Reflections

**Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. I'm just an uninvited guest swimming around in her pool.**

**A/N: Read This First: **I have posted an outtake in **Edward's POV. **It should be read **BEFORE** this chapter. Click on my profile link to find the outtake. Thank you!

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The Path We Chose

Chapter 16 : Reflections

Dad had insisted on doing the cooking so he was out back barbecuing hamburgers in the rain. I went to my old room and poured myself across the bed. This room. It had only been mine for six months before I moved into a new one, and before that my room was in Phoenix. So much had happened in such a short while really, but it seemed long ago, like another time.

I still felt ashamed for leaving my dad here by himself, but before I moved to Forks in August, he'd already been alone for years. Back then, I visited him only during the summer, but now, at least, I could visit him whenever I wanted. My mother, who I used to see everyday in Phoenix, now lived in sticky Florida, and I didn't even want to see her anymore--not if it meant seeing the person she had become.

And Edward. Edward, who I thought I'd known inside out had kept something so important from me. I felt boxed. Like he had chosen the parts of himself he was going to give to me and held the rest back. I had trusted him. But did I still? Was there more he was keeping from me? I couldn't be certain. And if he were to tell me there were no more secrets, would I believe him?

One thing that I knew was that he loved me. That I _knew_. We will get past this, I told myself. I wondered if he was telling himself the same thing at this very moment. And then I wondered what life would throw at me next.

Most people, I'm sure, at one point, or even more than once, inevitably look for meaning in their life. For me it meant change. Life equaled change. I'd been adjusting to change for as long as I could remember. Saying goodbye to the old and familiar and hello to the new and unexpected. Revisiting the disjointed past in fragmented memories. It would be so easy to live in fear of the next chapter to come, but I would try not to live like that. Instead, I would take control of my future and guide it instead of allowing it to guide me. And even if another roadblock, or fallen tree, or wall tumbled into my path, I would step, or jump, or climb over it.

If nothing else, I learned from my pregnancy that not all changes, though it may seem so at the time, are bad. I didn't like Forks until I met Edward, and then I didn't want to leave. And now, I actually lived with Edward, expecting his baby, and I wasn't even a legal adult. Lying on my back on my old, not so comfortable bed, it all seemed surreal. For just a minute, before my dad called me down for dinner, I imagined Edward at his house, me here at my dad's getting ready for the night. Edward would be on his way any minute to take me to Port Angeles for an evening with The Cliff's. Maybe we would dance or jump around to the obnoxious music or maybe I would sit in fear of my uncoordinated feet. We would come home where Edward would walk me to the door and kiss me goodnight. His hands would wander up my shirt and I would push them away. It would be a simpler time, but not necessarily a better time.

I closed my eyes, brought a hand to my stomach and listened to the rain. The sound of each drop hitting the window reminded me of my baby's heartbeat. I tried to hear the heartbeat but I couldn't. I couldn't hear it, couldn't feel it, but I knew it was there. Just as I knew I loved him or her, and I knew I loved Edward and I knew he loved me. Some things you just know.

At the dinner table, though Edward wasn't with us, he was in our conversation. I took a crunchy bite of my carrot and told my dad about Stanford, asking him to help me find a way to get Edward there, or at least the option to get there if that was his wish.

"I'll look into it," he said and then his eyes drifted out the window. I felt like pounding my head through the table. I had just asked my dad, still hurting from my move, to possibly help me move again, hundreds of miles away. I was beginning to think there was nothing I could do right when it came to my dad. I had to try. Take control, I reminded myself.

"Dad?"

"Yeah, Bella." His eyes back on me.

"It's amazing how many people one pregnancy can hurt. At first it just felt like Edward and me. Then it was you and Mom, then Carlisle and Esme, and now our friends. I just hope baby never knows."

"See, you feel protective already. Imagine how much more that feeling will grow once your baby is born."

I nodded in understanding. I was his child. He felt many more times protective of me than I felt for my unborn baby. I couldn't fathom a feeling like that. Even though all he wanted to do was hold on to me tight. He was letting me go. That is a strong man.

"Dad, that night, you said you weren't the father I needed. I want you to know. You're the only father I need."

"Thanks, Bella. I'll try to be better."

"You are better."

He reached into his back pocket for his wallet and out came a bankcard. He slid it across the table to me. "I opened an account for you. I will be depositing $100 from every paycheck into that account. I'm going to directly deposit it because I'm afraid otherwise you won't accept it. And if you ever need more, you tell me." He put his hand on mine. "I will be better."

I thanked him and told him I would take the card and the money if that was what he wanted.

"I called Mom."

"When?"

"After you and I had our talk at the Cullens', I mistakenly thought that she might be as understanding as you. She flipped out on me so I hung up on her." I didn't tell him that I'd broken my phone over it.

"What did she say?"

I took another bite of my burger so I wouldn't have to answer him for a minute. I wondered if I should tell him exactly what she said. He didn't take any bites; he just waited for me to finish chewing and answer. "She said that she basically regrets her whole adult life and that I will, too." I put my burger down. I hadn't realized that I would lose my appetite after saying that out loud.

"She loves you," he said. I shrugged--tried to make it seem like it was no big deal. "She loves you," he said again.

"Okay, Dad. Are you done?" I took his plate and started clearing the table. On the way to the sink, I tripped over my own foot and dropped a dish, shattering it across the tile. My dad laughed and I cleaned up glass for the second time that day.

"Bella," my dad said, drying the dishes as I washed them. "I remember the first time you fell. And I'm not talking about a regular, toddler-type fall. You were three." He tossed the towel on the counter, turned around and leaned against it. "We had this small swing for you out back. Do you remember it?"

I told him I didn't.

"No, we didn't have it for very long. Your mother was outside pushing you, trying to teach you how to pump with your legs but the phone rang and she went into the house to answer it. She told me to come out and watch you until she was off the phone. I came out back and saw that you had decided sitting on the swing wasn't enough fun. No, you were going to stand on it. First one leg then the other. And before I could get the words out to stop you, you were on the ground--fell backwards, hit your head so hard against the ground.

"I ran over to you, lifted your head, checked for bumps and bruises. Your eyes were watering but you weren't crying. I asked if you were okay, and you looked up at me with your big brown eyes, just as dark as mine but full of tears, and nodded your head. And then you smiled. You _were_ okay."

I laughed. "I don't remember that at all."

"Your mom made me get rid of the swing that night. She couldn't have you falling on your head. But my point is, Bella. You have fallen countless times since then, but every time I've witnessed it, you have always picked yourself up, stood tall, and smiled."

I wrapped my arms around his neck and squeezed. "Thank you for believing in me."

He said that he would do what he could regarding Stanford and that Edward probably had a good reason for keeping it from me. I thought it was time I find out.

I kissed him goodnight and headed out through the rain to my big, old truck.

Carlisle and Esme were in the living room, no doubt they'd noticed a piece of furniture was missing. Carlisle was on the sofa reading the paper and Esme was sitting cross-legged on the floor grading school work on her lap. "Do you need help, Esme?"

"Oh no, sweetie. You go on up to bed."

I took the steps two at a time and burst through Edward's door. He was reading in bed, shirtless, just as he should always be. I had startled him and he sat up, dropping his book. His eyes were red and puffy, and greener than the leaves on the maple trees. The right side of his lip was swollen, and I went right to him, pushing him down, nestling against his bare chest. "Edward, you tell me right now why you kept Stanford from me and why you didn't want me to know so badly that you would fight with your best friend over it."

He encircled me in his arms and rolled me over the top of him to the other side of his bed, where he hovered over me. "I'm glad you're back, Bella. Thank you for coming back." He put his face in my neck and held me so tight then lifted up, looked down at me and pushed my hair back. "First of all, I didn't fight with Emmett because he was being himself and spilled the Stanford can of beans. I fought with Emmett because he questioned the sincerity of our love and he hurt you. I could see it in your face. First you looked scared of him and then there was pain in your eyes, on your lips." He paused and looked down at me for a minute. "Bella, I really am sorry I never told you about Stanford, and I'm sorry for fighting with Emmett in front of you."

"That was stupid of you to jump on Emmett. He could have killed you."

"Thanks for that. That's great for my ego."

"Why didn't you just tell me about Stanford? I have to know why."

"I never told you about Stanford because…" his voice was low now, almost a whisper, "…the minute I fell in love with you I was trying to come up with a way of getting out of it or getting you to come with me. I had no choice anymore. I would easily forget about it if I couldn't get you to come with me. And that, my love, was well before baby. I would have told you as soon as I had a plan that might work. Emmett knew something was up because I was quiet every time he brought it up. Many times he asked to talk to me or said we needed to talk and I knew exactly what he meant but I kept shutting him down because, he was right, I was procrastinating. I've been putting that conversation off for months. I hadn't come up with anything solid yet. Then, after we found out you were pregnant and I knew I wasn't going to go at all, I couldn't tell him about the baby, yet so I continued to blow him off. But Emmett had been talking about Stanford for…as long as he could talk. It was only a matter of time before it all exploded out of him. I should have recognized that. I'm just sorry it was directed at you."

"Don't give up, Edward. Don't say that you _know_ you're not going to Stanford." I lifted my finger to his mouth and he flinched so I let up a little. "You shut me up earlier, now it's my turn. You're not giving up. Do not argue." I lifted my finger slowly, making sure he wasn't going to open up with a "but I…"

He did open his mouth but only to kiss me a few times before giving a short laugh.

"What?"

"It hurts to kiss you." He let out another small laugh--more like a scoff. "I guess I deserve that, after today."

"But you were kissing me earlier."

"It hurt then, too, just not quite this much."

"Then I'll kiss you. But first you have to tell me if there is anything else I should know. Are you keeping any more secrets from me?"

"None."

I looked up into his eyes. Those eyes on that face of the boy, or man, that I loved. "I'm going to believe you, Edward. But you only get one free pass."

He smiled. "Wait, wait, wait. There is more. I didn't eat my potatoes at dinner. Or my broccoli. Oh yeah, and every time I look at you I want to devour you. From head to toe. I mean every time. It doesn't matter where we are--"

"Shut up and turn over so I can kiss you." I lifted my head and kissed him hastily all over his face, until he did turn over and I was pushing him onto his back I tried not to let one inch of his face go untouched by my lips. This brought a real laugh out of him and then an, "ow," because apparently it hurt him to laugh, too. When I got to the swollen side of his mouth, I held his face still and kissed it gently.

"I love you," he said, squeezing me.

"I know," I barely got out because he was squeezing me so tight. He loosened up some at the sound of my strained voice. "I love you, too." At least he let me say it that time.

He turned us so he was hovering over me again and his face grew serious. "Bella, I know that pained look on your face was not all Emmett's doing. He may have yelled at you, but you wouldn't have been near as hurt if it hadn't been such a surprise to you. That look on your face after he yelled at you. I caused it. I made that look on this beautiful face." He caressed my face so softly that if I hadn't known it was him, I might have thought it was a breeze. I closed my eyes and let him continue, his knuckles down my jaw, around my chin and up the other side. His fingertips, barely there, over my lips. I pursed them into a kiss. Then, over my eyebrows his fingertips grazed, turning his hand again, the backs of his fingers at my temple and down my cheekbone. If I had kissed every inch of his face, he caressed every inch of mine, twice. I opened my eyes. "My beautiful face," he whispered.

When he lifted his hand away, I grabbed it. I wanted that hand, the only hand that could make me feel this way. I held onto it with both of mine, not letting go. He gladly rested it there.

"I'm sorry too, Edward."

"What do you have to be sorry for? You did nothing wrong."

"I made you think you were losing me…twice."

"Twice?"

"I can see it in your eyes, Edward. You've been crying."

"Nah, they're just itchy. Allergy season, you know?" And then he laughed with another, "ow" at the end.

"Let me get you some ice." I pushed against him but he didn't budge.

"My mom already did that, right before she let me know I would be replacing her table. You're staying put. You're right, I wasn't sure you were coming back tonight. I thought maybe you would decide to stay at your dad's. And yes, that scared me. I tried to read to distract myself but I kept reading the same sentence over and over again." His nose came to the crook of my neck and nuzzled back and forth.

"Edward, you want to hear something weird?"

"Absolutely."

"Today when we made the ridiculous decision to tell our friends our news all at once, Alice hugged me. She was comforting me."

"I noticed. That's weird?"

"No, the weird thing is, I didn't need to be comforted. I mean, I'm happy about baby. I want to be congratulated. I'm making a rule. No more negative speak about baby. Only good vibes may be aimed at our little us. If anyone has anything sad or bad to say about my pregnancy, I'm leaving the room."

"That's still not weird. That's good." He hugged me again, his face in the crook of my neck. I squeezed tight around his back.

"Edward, Edward, Edward. Let's be happy."

"That's the best plan I've heard in a long time." He pressed his lips to my throat, not quite kissing. Then he lifted his head and looked into my eyes. "Congratulations, Bella," he said. He lowered himself to my waist, lifted my shirt, and grazed his lips in circles over my stomach. I wriggled beneath him because it tickled. "Hi, baby," he said. "It's Daddy. Your mommy has finally decided to be happy. Let's keep her that way."

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	17. Gifts, Apologies, and the Princess

**Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. I'm just the uninvited guest swimming around in her pool.**

**I have to take an opportunity to thank all of my anonymous reviewers since I have no other way of getting in touch with you. So, thank you! **

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The Path We Chose

Chapter 17: Gifts, Apologies, and the Princess

Of course, I woke up in my own room. Edward and I hadn't spent all night together since the day of my breakdown at school a month ago. A part of me wanted to fake another one so we could do it again. I couldn't bring myself to fake it, though. Firstly, I would have to scare Edward, and secondly, I wasn't that great an actress. At least I was lucky enough to run into him in the hallway this morning. I jumped on him and he caught me, stumbling back against the wall.

"Hey," he said. I kissed his cheek and squeezed him tight with my arms and my legs because I didn't know what I did to deserve him, but I wasn't letting him go. He laughed.

"Good morning," I said and kissed the edge of his eyebrow. I avoided his lips in case they still hurt. They were less swollen, I noticed.

"That's a greeting I could get used to. Be careful of spoiling me, Bella. I'm going to start expecting this."

"Go ahead and expect it." I lowered myself and took him by the fingers, guiding him downstairs to the kitchen where I cooked for him: eggs and bacon and toast. I made him sit down while I cooked--wouldn't let him help. Cracking eggs, I decided we should have the college talk. I thought it was about time we shared this part of ourselves. I told him that I had planned on majoring in literature in college even though it was kind of cheating because it would be more like a hobby for me than school.

"You probably already knew that," I said as the bacon sizzled on the stove. I hadn't chosen a college yet, I told him. Even with my college savings I couldn't afford any school of my choice, and I didn't have the grades that would grant me a full scholarship like he did. "What about you? At Stanford. What were you going to study?"

"Business," he said.

"Ah, yes," Esme said, joining us in the kitchen. "My little business boy." She ruffled up his hair like he _was_ just a little boy. "Making breakfast again, Bella?"

"Yes, would you like some?"

"No. Thank you. Just coffee for me." She poured herself a cup. "I'm running late. But Bella, I want you to do something for me. When you finish up here, if you have time before school, go to my room, open the second drawer of my jewelry box, and the first thing you see, I want you to ask Edward to explain it to you."

She had my interest piqued. I raised an eyebrow at Edward but he just shrugged. I asked him to watch the eggs for a minute, deciding I could use his help after all. I had something to do upstairs. I wanted to make sure there was enough time before school for whatever it was Esme was asking of me.

I went to her and Carlisle's room. I had never been in there before. Of course I didn't need to flick on the light because of all the natural light coming in from the huge windows. Their room had a different look than the rest of the house--much more old fashioned. Their bedroom furniture appeared antique. The room was spotless, too. Not a speck of dust that I could see. And this early in the morning? Their clean room, it made me feel bad for leaving my room in disarray so often. I hadn't even made my bed yet, and last night's clothes were still on my floor. I almost opened a dresser drawer just to see if everything was color coordinated and folded just so. Almost. I couldn't invade their privacy, though.

Her jewelry box was mirrored. I was careful not to leave smudge marks on the glass as I pulled the drawer open. Right on top was a beaded bracelet. It looked like it was made of natural stones. Very pretty. I took it out and returned to Edward in the kitchen. He had already dished out breakfast on the table and was waiting for me in his seat. I sat down and slid the bracelet toward his plate.

"Oh no," he said, shaking his head. "I can't believe her."

"What is it?"

He picked up the bracelet and just fingered it for a minute. "I can't believe she still has this."

"What, did you buy that for her or something?" I took a crispy bite of bacon.

"I made it," he said.

I plucked it from his hands. "You made this? It's beautiful."

"Yeah, when I was ten. My grandpa used to be a hiker. He hiked all over the US and mined for rocks. Every time he visited he brought me one and told me all about it. He showed me how to bash them, cut them and polish them. I made this for my mom and she loved it so much I decided to make more and sell them. I went door to door in Forks selling them. That's when she first called me her business boy." He shook his head again, embarrassed. "The guys found out about it and made fun of me so I stopped. I just stopped."

"That is so…adorable."

"Don't call me adorable."

"Then don't _be_ so adorable." He laughed and I kissed his adorable business boy face.

He told me he wanted me to wear the bracelet and started clasping it around my wrist. I said that I couldn't because it belonged to his mom.

"Please wear it? It would mean a lot to me if you wore something that I made."

Edward had this way about him that often made it impossible for me to say no. Maybe it was how the corner of his mouth smiled when he spoke, or his voice, or the way his eyes still looked so deeply into mine. It was probably just him--all of him. I spun the bracelet around on my wrist to look at every different color stone. They were each shaped uniquely and slightly differed in size. They looked raw and perfect.

"See this?" He pointed to a green stone. "It's jade. He found it in California, outside of Monterrey. And this turquoise is from Nevada. And this?" He pointed to the crystally amethyst one. "It's made from a geode he found in, I think, Indiana."

"What's a geode?"

"They're rocks that, over time, form crystals on the inside. It takes years. And it's like a mystery rock. You never know what you get until you break it open. Usually you find clear quartz inside but this one contained amethyst."

"Edward," I said, but then had no more words.

"Bella."

"What if I lose it or ruin it?"

"Wear it." Then he took another bite to let me know that arguing with him was useless. I kissed his cheek as he chewed.

"Can I tell you something kind of selfish?" I asked.

"Sure."

"I'm glad you want to go into business and not medicine like your dad. I couldn't stand it if you were gone all the time like Carlisle. I don't know how Esme does it. Staying away from him for so long."

"Me too," he said. "It wouldn't be fair to the patients either because I would just be thinking about you all the time. I don't even want to think about what James Gun-wound would do to me after I called him Bella."

It was my turn to laugh. I ruffled up his hair, "My business boy."

"No, not that. Please. Adorable is better than that." Then he pulled my arm until I was in his lap and he was holding me around my back. He brushed his lips over my face and down my neck, resting at my collar bone. He didn't kiss me, though; his lips must have still hurt.

* * *

At lunch Emmett asked to talk to me but Edward immediately positioned himself between us. "Whatever you have to say to her, you can say in front of me."

"Come on man, I already apologized to you." I glanced at Edward wondering when that had happened. Maybe Emmett had returned to the Cullens' house when I was with my dad.

"You can talk to her, but not without me."

"It's okay, Edward. I'd like to talk to Emmett, too." Emmett and I left the cafeteria, heading toward the track field. Edward followed.

"Edward, dude, I'm not going to attack her."

"I'll keep my distance, but I want to see her."

Emmett and I kept walking, but when we were out of Edward's hearing distance, he still wouldn't talk, he just glared at Edward, arms folded, biceps accentuated. He looked really intimidating and probably downright scary to somebody who didn't know him. I waited while they had their silent stare down until Edward finally, reluctantly, retreated. He kept throwing glances over his shoulder until he was completely out of sight.

Emmett looked down at me for a minute before he spoke. I thought about telling him, no mind-wrestling, but that would have been like telling a kid he can't have candy only to place a big colorful lollypop right in front of him. He'd only want it more and he'd reach for it anyway.

"Bella, I apologize for my behavior yesterday. I can't even begin to comprehend what you've been going through lately and I took my anger out on you." He shook his head, eyes closed. He was really ashamed. "The truth is, I've known for a while now that something was up with Edward and our whole Stanford plan. I'd held my worries in for so long that when they were confirmed yesterday, my frustration came out uncontrolled. I didn't mean it. I didn't mean to make a joke out of your love, either. It's obvious he loves you--Stanford has nothing to do with that."

"I know, Emmett. I accept your apology. And I'm sorry. I mean, it's not all my fault, I know that, too, but I'm sorry about the situation. It's hard for all of us."

"Well, I shouldn't be making things any more difficult for you or Edward. Friends?" He held out a hand to me. I shook it.

"Friends," I said, and he tugged me in to kiss my cheek.

"Let's get back before Edward shits a grizzly bear."

"Wait, there's one more thing."

"Enlighten me."

I told him that I wanted to help Edward get to Stanford and find a way to pay for it. If Edward could do it before, he could do it now. I would wait to go to college until after he was finished. Him first. He deserved it. "Edward told me about a scholarship, do you know anything about it?"

"A little," he said. "But that was through the school. Those scholarships are limited and I doubt they would offer it to him now because of his…your situation. I'll find out more, though. I'm sure my dad will help. He's in the know with a lot of those Stanford stiffs. We can figure out something, Bella. Holy fuck, you're beautiful! Edward, man, he better know how lucky he is to have you." Emmett was smiling, and for the first time, I noticed he had dimples, one on each cheek, and they only appeared when he smiled this big.

"You're beautiful, too," I said, and he laughed because that was probably one compliment he had never heard. Gorgeous, yes. Sexy, yes. Strong, yes. But beautiful? Most likely not. "Your mind," I said. "You have a beautiful mind."

We headed back to the cafeteria and just before we entered, he stopped me. "Hold up. Was that a back-handed…Wasn't _A Beautiful Mind _that movie about that schizophrenic mathematician?"

"John Nash," I said, then left him right where he stood and entered the cafeteria first. He followed me and I was fairly certain I just brain-slammed him. That's two for Bella.

My proud face turned into an embarrassed face when everyone at our table stood and smiled at me. I wondered if my make-up with Emmett was really deserving of this, but then one by one they all hugged me whispering, "Congratulations." I was beaming. I beamed at Edward because I knew this was his doing. Alice added some bounces with her hug and told me she knew I would make a wonderful mother, then insisted on taking me out to dinner. She called it a date.

Jasper hugged me gently, rubbing my back a little, and pressing his cheek against mine. "I'm glad you and Edward worked things out." Warmth spread throughout my body neutralizing the cold that had reddened my nose and my ears while standing outside with Emmett. And if I wasn't already feeling peaceful, I now felt pure contentment. Jasper was almost like a drug. Jasper: better than Prozac.

Emmett hugged me the tightest and I was amazed he never crushed Rosalie, even by accident. Rosalie's hug wasn't so much a hug as a lean and a pat, but she initiated it which meant infinitely more than hug length or squeeze-quality. Then they all hugged each other just to confuse the rest of the nosy teenagers that had stopped mid-bite or mid-chew to gape at us.

It was funny to see Jasper and Emmett hug. Emmett jumped back almost immediately. "Can't you shut that off, man?" Jasper laughed and took Emmett's shoulder. Emmett smiled at Jasper and shook his head. "You're never going to stop, are you?"

"Bella called it," Jasper pointed at me, "humanitarian."

My hug with Edward was the longest. He felt like home, like safety. We didn't want to let go of each other but we had to because we were at school. Eventually, a teacher or cafeteria chaperon would have separated us anyway and told us to get to class.

I had to sneak my lunch into Health to eat because I ran out of time before the bell rang and I was hungry. I had my hamburger wrapped in a napkin and hid it under my desk. It wasn't too hard to sneak bites since we were watching another video; this time about fire safety, teaching you to map out a safety exit at home with your mom and dad. Mrs. Hines, of course was reading a book. I thought it was quite the job to teach Health at Forks High. You got to play marriage games, show videos, and catch up on your literature. Even when we learned CPR, a guest teacher came in and took over that day. I wondered if you even needed a teaching credential for this.

Edward leaned over and whispered, "What are you thinking about? You're glowing."

"I'm thinking about teaching Health when I grow up."

And then we both laughed. We couldn't help it. We were cracking up. Everyone turned to look at us. Mrs. Hines shushed us, angrily, most likely because we interrupted her reading and not because we had disrupted the class. Edward and I really tried to stop laughing, but every time we looked at each other it started all over again. We kept it as quiet as possible--whisper-laughs--until we finally just had to avoid looking at each other to get ourselves under control. Jessica kept her eyes on us, even when everyone else's attention had returned to the movie. She cocked an eyebrow. I smiled and waved because that usually got her to turn around. It worked this time, too.

It was killing her that she didn't know what was going on with Edward and me. I had to stare straight ahead, away from Edward's gaze, otherwise we would have doubled over in laughter again.

I heard Jessica and Lauren's theory while I was exchanging books in my locker. They were standing right behind me talking deliberately loud.

"I heard Chief Swan couldn't take care of her anymore so she moved in with the Cullens' and Dr. Cullen is adopting her," Lauren said in her nasally voice.

"Yeah," Jessica said, "they _live_ together. They're like brother and sister and they're together, together. That's just weird."

Edward came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. "Hey, my beautiful."

"Edward! Did you hear?" I turned to face him. "We're like brother and sister!" I looked over at Jessica and Lauren to let him know what I meant. They pursed their lips at me with heads tilted, hands on hips. Their stance and motion mirrored each other. I didn't think they could be more generic if they tried.

"Family fun for everyone," Edward said, then kissed me. Apparently his lip no longer hurt because that was some kiss and lasted long after Jessica and Lauren had stomped off. He clutched my hair on both sides of my face, "I am going to thank God everyday that you are _not_ my sister." He gave me a few more light pecks on the lips, trying to calm our hormones down. It sort of worked.

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Alice picked my up at the Cullens' for dinner. She insisted because that's what dates do. She drove us to Port Angeles and we walked together, pinky-in-pinky up the steps to her favorite restaurant _Bella Italia. _She requested a quiet booth. Our table was lit with a candle and a rosebud rested in a small vase. I pushed it away from me, otherwise I was sure to knock it over.

Normally I would like--no, love--pasta, but not tonight. "They don't have hamburgers," I complained. Yes, I _had_ just eaten hamburgers at my dad's last night, and then again at lunch today, but that was what I wanted.

"They have gnocchi and rigatoni and mushroom ravioli, how could you possible prefer a hamburger?"

I put my menu down. "I just do. I can already taste it in my mouth. Nothing else will do."

"All right princess, wait here." She left me alone at the table. I looked around. There were two guys sitting at a nearby table, both looking at me.

"Hi," one of them said. I didn't reply, just picked up my menu and pretended to look it over again. Alice returned with a children's menu.

"Look," she said, "hamburgers!"

She ordered for both of us and since I was getting my "precious" hamburger (yes, she called it precious), she insisted I get the steamed vegetables instead of the fries. Then she pulled a small, pink gift bag out of her big old purse. I didn't carry a purse. I had a little pouch I kept in my jacket pocket that held what little money I had and my keys. But I guess if you went around carrying gift bags, you needed a purse as big as you.

I'm pretty sure I blushed when I peered into the bag. I was never any good at getting gifts and wished she wouldn't look at me while I opened it. Inside was a book. "The Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy."

"It's supposed to be funny," she said. "My mom suggested it. Then she sat me down and had the sex talk with me all over again, so thanks for _that_, Bella."

"I bet you're feeling pretty smug right about now for deciding to hold out until marriage."

"I don't feel smug, Bells. Most of the time I feel like I'm missing out. Just because I made the decision doesn't mean it's easy to stick to."

"I know, Alice. Sorry, that was a bad joke. But how do you feel? About my mommy situation?"

"At first my thoughts were self-centered. You won't be in school with me much longer. You won't be going on class trips…" (I didn't tell her that I more than likely wouldn't have gone on class trips anyway) "…it was all the things we wouldn't do that all our classmates would be doing. But then I stopped thinking about me and started thinking about you, how you must feel, and god, Bella, I am so sorry." Here eyes watered. "You are my best friend. I have known Rosalie for what seems like forever, and she doesn't even know as much about me as you do. I just want to be what you need."

"You're my best friend, too, Alice. At one point, apart from Edward, you were my _only_ friend." I took her hand. I felt eyes on us. The boys at the other table were looking over again and one raised his eyebrows at me. I turned back to Alice, kept her hand in mine. "We'll still see each other--do things together. I'm not dying. I'll just have an extra person with me. You can help me. I'm convinced you already know more about motherhood than I do, anyway…just on instinct alone. You can teach me."

"You don't know yourself very well, Bella. You are very mothering. You always want the people around you to be happy, even if it means sacrificing your own comfort. You'll be a fine mother. Won't need my help. But I'll be there anyway. I promise." She lifted my hand to her lips and one of the guys next to us gave a whistle. Alice stood up and stepped to their table.

"Oh, you like this, do you? Well let me tell you something. Maybe if boys didn't act like _you_ all the time, we would be interested in your kind. Look at what your gender is missing out on because of your behavior!"

Then she returned to her seat, gave me a nose-crinkle, leaned back and drank her coke.

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Review, please. :)

So, I'm working on another impromptu outtake suggested by one of my loyal reviewers. She knew just how to get the wheels really turning in my head by mentioning it twice! It will be Carlisle's perspective--a glance at the night Carlisle and Esme found out about Bella's pregnancy (and more insight on their relationship). Let me know in your review if this is something you're interested in reading. (YES, I'm trying to get more of you to review, and YES, I will post it anyway, as long as it turns out well.)


	18. Springtime Blues

Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. I'm just an uninvited guest swimming around in her pool.

Did you read **Carlisle's POV?** Click on my profile to find it! :)

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The Path We Chose

Chapter 18: Springtime Blues

It was just after 4:00 and I was waiting for Edward to come home from his job interview at the hospital. Waiting for Edward made me hungry. So did sitting around, walking, or studying. I went to the Cullens' kitchen for something to eat and came back to the living room with milk and four chocolate chip cookies on a napkin. At least the milk was healthy. Obviously the coffee table was still absent, so I held my milk on my lap while nibbling the Extra Chunky Chips Ahoy and staring at the forest view out the window. It was nearly April and it was still so cold outside. I watched the trees blowing in the wind and the wind tossing the rain at the window. I heard the sliding door on the other side of the kitchen and then voices, Edward's and Carlisle's.

"What do you think, Edward?"

"I don't know. I have to talk to Bella about it." I recognized Edward's "exasperated" voice. He was trying to end their conversation.

"I married your mom before you were born. It was the right thing to do back then."

"I know, Dad."

"Well, do you plan on marrying Bella?"

I nearly choked on my cookie and forgot there was ever a beautiful view in front of me. I grabbed all of my evidence and scrambled for the stairs, not wanting to hear his answer. I was afraid to hear his answer. Please don't let me hear his answer. I was nearly at the top of the stairs when I heard it.

"Of course I do."

If my hands were free, I would have covered my ears. I continued up, humming softly, until I was out of hearing range. I passed my room and entered Edward's. I rested what was left of my snack on his desk and sat in the chair. Marriage? Suddenly I wasn't hungry anymore, but I did feel sick. I ran to the toilet and heaved and heaved but nothing came up. I lingered over the toilet a little longer sure that something was there, but still nothing, not even anymore dry-heaves. I rinsed my mouth anyway and exited the bathroom just as Edward entered his room.

"Hey," he said. "I looked for you in your room, but you weren't there."

"I'm in here," I said.

"I can see that." He gave me a half-smile and I wanted to kiss it, but I couldn't move.

"How was your interview?"

"Well, my dad being my dad practically guarantees me the job. It wasn't even a formal interview. They basically just showed me around pediatrics and introduced me to my responsibilities." He sat down on the edge of his bed and I stood right where I was, just outside the bathroom door. "I'll just be filing and organizing and updating forms. I hate to say it, but it's a little bit emasculating, only because I'll be working with a bunch of women and they're already giving me a hard time."

"By hard time do you mean flirting with you relentlessly?"

He laughed, but didn't answer. "They'll work around my schedule and it pays more than minimum wage, so I can't really complain."

"Congratulations."

"Bella, is something wrong?"

"Why?"

"You haven't moved at all."

I very nearly told him nothing was wrong, but instead I blurted out what had been on the tip of my tongue for fifteen minutes too long. "We can't get married."

"What?…You…heard us." He dropped his head into his hands, his fingers fanning through his hair. I couldn't see his face.

"Just a little. It was an accident and I left as fast as I could."

"So, we can't get married?"

"I mean not right now. I can't marry you just because I'm pregnant."

"You are aware that I didn't ask you, aren't you?" He looked up and I could see his face now; it was red. I'd seen him look at Mike this way, and Jessica, and Emmett. He looked angry.

But his comment made me feel stupid. "I'm not an idiot, Edward."

"I didn't say you were, but do you have any idea what it feels like to be rejected when I haven't even proposed yet? Obviously you didn't hear me tell my dad that I would ask you when it was right for us and not because of his or anyone else's expectations."

"No. I told you, I stopped listening."

"But anyway, what if I wanted to marry you?" He stood up but didn't move toward me. "What if I wanted to ask you to marry me, right now? Would you say no? Really? We are planning on spending the rest of our lives together aren't we? I thought…but maybe you--"

"Yes, I want to spend my life with you."

"Well, that does mean eventual marriage. So why should it matter when we do it?"

I was still stuck in my spot, like there was glue on the bottom of my shoes. My kindergarten teacher would have been proud. She used to tell us to pretend we had glue on our shoes when she didn't want us to move. And, much like a kindergartner, my hands couldn't be still. I had no idea what to do with them so I played with my fingers. "I don't feel right about rushing into it just because of our situation," I said, and the more I thought about it the more panicked I became and the louder my voice rose. "Besides, we're living with your parents. We have no home of our own, no money of our own and we have another year of high school. How can we possibly get married?! It's not right to do it just because of the baby! I don't want that."

"You're upset. I'm going for a run and we'll talk about this later." He stood up and started for the door.

"Don't tell me how I'm feeling or end the conversation just because it isn't going your way."

"Bella! God! I'm just trying to avoid an argument. I'm not ending it, just postponing it until we're both calm. Do you hear us? We are arguing about getting married! There's no point to it."

"I told you, I'm _not_ an idiot. And why is there no point? I'm tired of your narrow-sighted, full of perspective attitude. There are other perspectives. Back away from yourself for a minute."

"Back away from myself?" He stepped toward me and his voice quieted. "Everything I've done has been for you, for us--"

"Oh no, that's not what I meant." I moved for the first time to pick up his hand. It was limp in mine. His fingers didn't grab hold of mine like they normally would. "I didn't mean that. I just meant…"

"What did you mean?" His voice lacked inflection. He pulled his hand from mine and let it drop to his side. My hand was too empty. I wanted to reach for him again, but didn't--afraid he would pull away.

"Edward don't think that, okay? Please don't think that. I know the sacrifices you've made for me--everything you've done. I don't know what I would do without you. I'd probably be in a mental ward right now. I know I would be. God, after that breakdown at school, if it weren't for you, who knows where I'd be right now. You do everything right. I don't know how you do it. You know what I want and you give it to me. I'm just afraid that you're so determined to do the right thing that you're ignoring what _you_ want and you're going to regret it all eventually. When I said 'back away from yourself,' I meant just listen to me, don't try to figure me out, just listen."

"I'm listening." He returned to the edge of his bed and folded his arms. I wanted to touch his face--soften the harsh look in his eyes, but still, I couldn't.

"I can't marry you right now and I can't be without you either. It makes absolutely no sense. I can't explain it."

"Try, Bella."

"It's just…I'm afraid of trapping you. You're young, you're so smart, you have ambition. You had a whole future ahead of you before me, and I know that didn't include marrying your girlfriend before you're even eighteen. I'm not going to put you in a cage."

"Bella, you have been much more than simply my girlfriend since the day I told you I loved you. And I have never once felt like I was in a cage!"

"But you might, someday. I just need to know you're sure. You invited me to move in with your family because that was our only option. At the time, it was either this or Florida. And I wanted this so much that I didn't even stop to really think about it until I was already moved in. If my parents hadn't decided to whisk me off to Florida, would I be here now or would I still be with my dad? You were cornered into bringing me here. It was a quick decision, a desperate decision. There was no other alternative. I won't trap you like that in marriage. I want to marry you the right way. Not out of obligation."

He stared at me for a little while. He gave me that intense stare of his, but this time it was different. His eyes were tight and they weren't focused on me, they were focused on his thoughts. He shook his head at me. "Don't you trust that I know myself at all? Stop telling me I'm trapped!" He stood up again and pointed at the ground. "I am exactly where I want to be. I want you here with me. It's not out of obligation or desperation. There are always other options, but I chose this one. Because you are what I _want_. I am never going to wake up someday and feel any different. This isn't a dream. This is real. You keep reminding me about the sacrifices I've made, but I am not the only one sacrificing. You have sacrificed far more. You left your family, moved out of your home, and soon you won't even be in school anymore! Why is it fine for you to give up everything, and when I give up just a few things, you assume I don't know what I'm doing?"

"I never thought of any of those things as sacrifices," I said. "They were all just things I had to do."

"Exactly. I want you. I want our baby. I will do whatever it takes for both of you. Anything. Success, money, even life, it's all useless without you. I will marry you someday. When you're ready. But Bella, you're going to have to tell me when that is because I couldn't stand it if I asked you and you rejected me. As strong as you think I am, I am not that strong."

I knew my limits and he knew his. We might have the longest engagement in history, but I would never tell him no.

He was heading for the door. He was leaving. "Edward," I said. "I won't reject you." He stopped but didn't turn around. "I will never reject you. If you asked me today, I would say yes." He nodded his head before continuing out the door. He left me in his bedroom, shutting the door behind him. For the first time since we kissed on Homecoming night, he left without touching me. And I longed for his touch. The last of his skin I'd felt on mine was him pulling his hand away from me. It had been in my grasp for only a second and then it was gone, by choice. And so was he.

I didn't crave pickles with peanut butter or carrots and cream. What I craved was Edward's touch, and I wasn't even sure if he was still here. I searched for him throughout the house. In the kitchen I asked Esme if she'd seen him. She said she thought he was with me and told me dinner would be ready soon. I may not have answered her. And I know I didn't offer to help. I kept looking for Edward. I thought maybe he went for a run, after all. Maybe he wasn't that far yet. I grabbed my coat to try to follow him but outside his car was gone. I stared at the empty space in the driveway. And then I walked.

I walked into the woods. The sun was setting turning the overcast sky pink. Spring was here and everything was even greener than usual. Moss was growing up trees and draping over branches. It only enhanced my craving of Edward's touch. I thought of running back to the Cullens' to call him: _Come back_. H_ug me like the moss hugs the trees, _I'd say. I didn't, though. I would honor his need for space, just like he had honored mine. I just kept wandering until I tripped over a shallow tree root and knocked my leg into the trunk. I remembered my clumsy self and it was getting dark so I limped back rubbing my knee through my jeans. I felt a small hole.

Inside, Carlisle called from the kitchen, "Bella? Is that you?" I went to the kitchen where he and Esme were just sitting down to dinner.

"Join us," Esme said.

"Oh, no thank you, Esme, I'm not hungry. Carlisle, Edward and I had sort of…a fight." I cringed. I didn't like saying those words out loud. "I'd like to wait for him in his room. I won't spend the night there, I just want to wait for him. I'll leave as soon as he gets back."

"Please, Bella, I understand."

"You need to eat," Esme said, already fixing me a plate. "Take some dinner up with you." She cut up my steak for me into little squares like I was one of her fourth graders. I had to take it.

Upstairs I ate what I could at Edward's desk. The partial cookie snack from earlier was still there, the milk curdling by now. I felt bad for dirtying up Edward's room like this, but I wasn't leaving again. I rinsed the glass out in his bathroom sink though, because that was just gross. I brushed my teeth in his bathroom with his toothbrush. I thought, if we can share tongues we can share toothbrushes. Still, I washed his toothbrush under hot water for him. It burned my hand.

Stripping down to my bra and panties, I crawled into his bed. It was as close as I could get to him. I grabbed his pillow and inhaled him, then closed my eyes so I could dream about Edward. If he wasn't physically here at least he could be in my dreams. Of course, I didn't dream.

I awoke to goose bumps racing down my arms. Edward was kissing the back of my neck. It made me shiver and smile. "Edward."

"How did you know it was me?"

I turned on my back to look at him but it was too dark to see anything. I reached up and felt his face. Yes, he really was there. He was on top of the comforter leaning over me. "You were kissing me."

"I know. You're in my bed. How could I resist?"

"But you were mad."

"Not mad--upset, frustrated, but never mad."

"What time is it?"

"After midnight."

"Where did you go for so long?"

"I went to talk to Jasper."

"Oh, that's why you're happy," I said. "You took the Jasper drug." He kissed my nose.

"I'm happy because I'm with you."

"What did Jasper say?"

"He said you made a good point about the whole living arrangement and money dependency thing. Don't worry Bella, I'm not going to pressure you into marrying me. I wouldn't do that. I mean, I kind of did that earlier, but it was only out of fear of rejection. I would never seriously do that. We're not getting married yet but we're not going to be apart either."

"Perfect," I said reaching up for him. He lowered himself into my arms. "There you are," I said, finally feeling him. I tugged at the hem of his shirt and he got my hint and took it off. "No, there you are." I ran my fingers over his chest. "Get in," I said pushing back the covers.

"Bella, never lie in my bed without any clothes and not tell me. I could have been in there with you this whole time."

"I needed to feel you and this was as close as I could get."

He removed his pants, climbed under the covers and wrapped me up, "Feel me," he said. And I did. And as usual, he felt like home. Edward was my home, not the Cullens' house or my dad's house, just Edward. I sighed. "Edward, will you promise me something?."

"Anything." How easily he said that after I had been so hurtful earlier.

"Promise me you will never leave again without touching me first. Even if you just squeeze my hand. It doesn't matter. Just please don't leave without touching me."

"Did I do that?"

"Yeah, earlier. You didn't touch me, not once. It scared me. It hurt my heart."

He backed away to look at me. But he couldn't see me so he reached over and turned on his lamp. Then he gave me his eyes. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize--"

"It's okay. Just promise."

"I do. I promise." He put his hand over my heart and just felt. "I will try so hard not to hurt your heart again." Then he moved his hand and replaced it with kisses. I felt something wet on my chest. Wetter than a tongue. I lifted his head and saw tears.

"What is it?"

"It's just today. I can't stand what happened to us today. And then, now, the thought of you loving me so much you are hurt because I didn't touch you. That feels…I can't even explain how that feels. And I never want to hurt you. Even if it's simply due to non-touching."

"I do love you that much. I didn't tell you that to make you feel bad. Please don't feel bad. It's just that I was scared, the way you left. And after everything I said. I'm sorry, Edward. I shouldn't have pushed my fears off on you. If you say that this is what you want, I believe you. I will make you a promise, too. I will put my fears to rest. I will trust your decisions. I trust you. I just hope that what I said about marriage didn't make you doubt my love."

"I don't doubt it," he said. "I feel it. Let me give some back.." Then his lips were on mine. He made up for not touching me earlier by touching me everywhere with his lips. He stopped on his return up my leg when his lips landed on the inside of my knee and I flinched.

"What's this?" He licked. "Blood?"

"I fell earlier." My voice, so quiet, I'm not sure how he heard me.

"When?"

"I couldn't find you and went for a walk."

He kissed it and kept kissing, moving slowly up my leg.

"Wait…"

"What?" He didn't wait. He moved his lips and tongue higher up the inside of my thigh.

"I Promised…um…um…Carlisle…" My eyes closed on their own and my voice stopped working.

"Promised what?" He smiled against my thigh, lifting my leg over his shoulder, grazing his lips higher still. Fingertips followed his trail of kisses.

"I…would…um…Edward!" I whisper-yelled when he licked all the way up the crease of my inner thigh to my hipbone. I lifted his face so he would stop and I could talk. But then his face was so close to mine and I saw his eyes, wet now, not with tears, but desire and I couldn't say anything. I pulled his face hard to my lips, both of us giving ourselves to the other. Warm tongues, hot breaths.

He was the one who broke the kiss. "What were you trying to say?" His voice was deep and groggy like he'd just awakened from a long nap.

My voice came out in whispers. "Carlisle…I promised him I would leave your room as soon as you got back."

"You did?" I nodded, my mind beginning to rationalize getting married at seventeen. Married people share a bed and don't have to sneak around in the middle of the night. "Well, I have an easy solution for that," he said . "We'll go to your room. I didn't make any such promise."

He carried me to my room as if my legs didn't work, but that was okay because I could wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him the whole way there. He would have to leave before morning, but for now, he would be mine, in my bed.

Before he set me down, he kissed the base of my throat and whispered, "This is my favorite part of your body." Then he placed me on the bed, removed my bra and kissed along my collar bone, down my chest and over my breasts, holding me at my side to bring me closer…deeper into his mouth. "No, this is my favorite part of your body." He continued his kisses down the center of my stomach getting a deep breath from me and I was on my back across my bed. He kissed lower still, until my back arched and his hands held my waist, curving me further. "This is my favorite body."

He pulled my panties off and pushed my knees apart, his fingers trailing the inside of my thighs. "Edward…"

"Shh," he reminded me with his breath between my legs. In here, we were closer to his parents' room. I put a hand over my mouth because it was the only way I could keep quiet when he was doing this to me. His fingers, his tongue. Whimpers and moans were inevitable, but at least with my hand over my mouth I could stifle them some. I reached down to grab his shoulder, trying to hold onto my control, but I was losing myself; the stifling became harder. And his tongue. And his fingers. My neck was arched all the way back, and my hand was pressed so hard against my mouth it almost hurt, and still I couldn't stop the noises coming from my throat as they were pushed up from my stomach with nowhere to go. I wanted to shout his name, but I couldn't. And then before I had completely finished, he was inside of me, his chest on mine and it started all over again. And it was current after current of electricity…current after current. And I was afraid it wouldn't stop. Afraid because I wasn't allowed to make a sound and that was near impossible. I moved my hand because I had to say his name. It didn't matter anymore.

"Edward…" And then he was whimpering, too and trying to hold in his moans, and neither of us were doing a very good job of that. And then he collapsed on top of me and we were both panting and he was heavy and I loved it. I loved his weight on me and I pulled him closer.

"How did you do that?" I whispered.

"Do what, Bella?"

I felt my insides stir again when he breathed my name like that against my neck. "Make it last so long? It kept going."

He smiled at me and touched a finger to my lips. "I love you, that's how," he whispered. "Are you happy now?"

"Yes."

"Good. I don't like arguing with you."

"Neither do I."

"But I like making up with you."

"So do I." And he kissed me and his tongue was deep in my mouth.

I pushed against him, still kissing him, until he was on his back, and I held him as close as I could, my chest right on his, my face in his neck. "I don't want you to go to your room. Do you have to go?"

"No."

I lifted my head. "No?"

He answered me with a kiss.

"But you _do_ have to go."

"I know."

"Because of your dad."

"Because of my dad."

"But not yet?"

"Not yet, love."

I gave him another kiss then rested my head against his shoulder. His arms held me close against him. And for now, I was home.

* * *

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	19. Plucking at Thorns

You guys were awesome with the reviews last chapter. Thank you!

* * *

The Path We Chose

CHAPTER 19: Plucking at Thorns

Have you ever been so hungry, and smelled your favorite meal cooking, and you want it so badly but can't eat it yet because it isn't ready? And your mouth doesn't understand that it has to wait so it starts salivating in anticipation? Well, that was exactly how I felt today about tomatoes.

It didn't matter that I'd just eaten two sandwiches for lunch. I had to have a tomato. I could smell it in my room even though there wasn't a tomato in the house. I could taste it. I needed it in my mouth, now. I was home alone. It was the second day of Spring Break-no school. Edward, Carlisle and Esme were all at work. So I grabbed my keys and took my old clunker of a truck to the Forks Market. I eased down the veggie aisle, plucked a ripe red Roma tomato from the basket, paid $1.49 for the little thing, headed to the restroom to rinse it and then outside to bite into it. And that's how Lauren found me. My mouth, my teeth, digging into a whole tomato, the juice dripping down my chin. I wiped it with the back of my hand.

"That's how you eat tomatoes?"

I looked at her for a minute. My honest explanation wouldn't do. "Uh-huh," I said. Sure, why not?

"You're weird, Bella." She rolled her eyes and shook her head at me, emphasizing how weird she thought I was. "Your boyfriend works at the hospital now."

"How did you know?"

"I saw him there today. I'm volunteering for my college transcripts. Is that why he's there?"

I nodded, adding to the list of lies I needed to keep straight. I should start taking notes.

"Those ladies there are flirting with him all over the place."

I shrugged at her. "So, what's new?"

"I think he likes it. One of the moms there asked him to hold her baby. He refused until she winked at him and then he took the baby from her. I think he may be slipping from your grasp."

That reminded me of how he was in my grasp in my bed last night and I accidentally smiled.

"You think that's funny? Well, did he tell you that his ex-girlfriend works with him and they flirt together, too?"

I looked at my wrist, wishing I had a watch. I pretended I was wearing one anyway. "Lauren, I have to go. Do you have a point?"

"Yeah, I just made it." She walked off into the store leaving me there with my quarter-eaten tomato and stains on my top. I thought about tossing the tomato out, but I still wanted it. So, since by some miracle it actually wasn't raining, I grabbed my backpack from my truck and headed across the street to the park where I could sit on a bench under the clouds and eat my tomato however I wanted-in peace.

I saw a squirrel scatter up a tree. It reminded me of Edward and made me laugh. I wished he was here with me so I could make fun of him…or kiss him. I pulled my French book out of my bag hoping to distract my thoughts from Edward (which wasn't likely). And yes, I studied during Spring Break. I had to. I had to ace French for the rest of the semester. I was conjugating irregular verbs when I noticed that squirrels weren't the only things scurrying about. Out of the corner of my eye I saw something scampering toward me. It was a little scruffy dog and it wasn't on a leash. I stiffened on the bench and watched its run pick up. It got closer and I closed my eyes. _Please don't come near me_, I thought, but I felt it sniff at my leg and I couldn't move.

"Please go away," I told it, as though it would listen if I was polite about it. It didn't obey. Holding my breath, and refusing to look down at the dog that was still sniffing my leg, I forced my eyes open in search of its owner. _Don't jump up on me_.

I saw a woman calling, "Princess." Oh God, the dog was a princess.

"Can you come and get your dog, please?"

"She won't hurt you, sweetie. She's a lover."

"I know. Can you come get her anyway?" I still hadn't looked down at it but I could feel it there. I bit a fingernail. "Please."

She picked up her dog and brought it to my face. "Look, she's a sweetheart."

I backed my face up as far as I could and nodded.

"Go ahead, pet her. She likes you."

"No, that's okay."

"Go ahead, hun." I looked at the crazy dog lady with her plump cheeks and her too-sweet smile. Maybe if I pet it she would go away. The dog was all blond fluff with eyes so black I couldn't see a pupil and it spooked me so I had to look away again. I raised my hand, shut my eyes and patted its little head, then pulled my hand away as if it shocked me.

"Yeah, she's really nice. But, um, I should study." I held up my book as proof.

She apologized for the interruption and left me alone. I didn't open my book, though. I grabbed all of my things and left-went back to the Cullens' where I could study on the sofa free of dogs and their crazy, pet-my-sweet-dog-now owners.

Edward was the first Cullen to come home. "Bella! Look at this." He tossed a magazine at me and it landed on top of my textbook on my lap. It said "Pregnancy" right across the top. I didn't even know they made those. "How many calories do you eat a day?"

"I don't know."

"Because you're supposed to eat three-hundred _more_ calories than you normally do. Did you know that? Do you do that? Because I don't see you eat very much. And you're supposed to avoid certain fish and uncooked cheeses. Look, it's all in there." He lifted the magazine in my lap.

"Well, I'm pretty sure I already ate a thousand more calories than normal today and I haven't even had dinner yet. I didn't have any fish, and I had cheddar cheese."

He sat down next to me and brought a hand to his hair. "Have you had any spotting?"

"What? No. Edward, don't ask me that."

"Because if you do, that could be a bad sign. How are you ankles?" He lifted my jeans and took off my shoes to examine my feet. "Any swelling? Do you want me to get you some hot water to soak in?"

"Edward?" I laughed. "Did you read this whole thing?"

"Yeah, I was bored at work and it was right there. But did you know about all of this?"

"Yes. Alice gave me a book. It was supposed to be funny but it kind of freaked me out, too, so I stopped reading it." I brought my hand to his cheek. "You read a 'Pregnancy' magazine?"

He nodded.

"Aw. That's so sweet. Well, don't worry. I'm fine. No swelling, spotting, eating weird food, and least of all starving. Believe me, I eat plenty. Maybe not always a huge meal at once, but I eat all day long."

"Okay."

"What else did you do at work?" I wondered if he would mention Lauren.

"I held a baby. At first I didn't want to-afraid I'd hurt him, but the mother kept saying I would be fine." He gave me one of his crooked smiles that I had to touch.

"You're cute. I hope our baby is exactly like you."

"I hope our baby is like you."

"Edward. Did you see Lauren today?"

"Lauren? No. Why?"

"I ran into her outside the market." I skipped over how she'd caught me eating a tomato. "She said she volunteers there for college-which, you should know, she thinks that's why you're there, too. She said she saw you holding a baby and I'm surprised that she was telling the truth. She also said you work with an ex-girlfriend. That you flirt with her."

He laughed, but it was a nervous laugh. "I don't have any ex-girlfriends."

"But you have dated other girls. Do you work with someone you dated?"

"Yeah, but Tanya, she works in the gift shop. I never see her. And, I don't know what Lauren said to you, but you have nothing to worry about. I went on one date with Tanya and I didn't even like her. The only reason Lauren knows is because they're cousins or some shit."

"I'm not worried. Just curious."

That's when he kissed me, which made me realize we hadn't kissed since he walked through the door, so I leaned against him and kissed him harder letting the book and magazine clunk to the floor next to my shoes and socks. His hands were on my shoulders pulling at me and my hands were in his hair pulling at him.

"I touched a dog, today." I said, then kissed him again.

"Good for you." And he kissed me again.

"And I saw a squirrel." I tried to kiss him again but I couldn't because he was laughing and I couldn't get a hold of his lips with mine. I kept trying and held his neck to still him and finally the laughing blended with kisses until he was all kisses.

* * *

Rosalie and I had been amicable since that first day we laughed together at lunch over Hemingway, but she had never come to see me-until today. It was the last Saturday before school would start up again and I hadn't seen her all week. At first, I thought she was there for Edward. "Edward's at work," I told her. But she said she wanted to talk to me. A big, bulky garbage bag sulked by her feet and she started pulling on it's handles, dragging it into the house. I tried to help her with it but she blocked me.

"Don't you dare!"

I stepped away quickly, not because she had reminded me of my condition but because I saw a trace of that scowl she liked to threaten me with. "Why do you have a garbage bag?"

She suggested we sit down. We sat in the living room. My stomach growled and I wanted to grab some milk and cookies. It was like proving Pavlov's theory every time I sat on this sofa. I ignored my nagging, snacking urge because I was more interested in why she was here to talk to me and not Edward. She took a deep breath and glanced all over the room, her eyes never landing on anything. Was she nervous? She seemed to be looking for words. They're inside you , I wanted to say, they're not hanging out in the living room. She found them.

"I have an older sister," she said, and then stopped and looked at me.

"I'm an only child," I said. She ignored that.

"My sister had a baby a few years ago, I thought you could use these." She pushed the bag at me. I opened it and started pulling out clothing, big clothing, maternity clothing. Dresses and pants and shirts, and even nylons. I held the nylons up.

"Those are to stop varicose veins or something. I don't know. They're all clean. Everything has been washed. I'm sorry it took so long to get those. My sister lives in New York; I had to wait for her to ship them out."

I had known Rosalie since October, but it was this day, in the first week of April, when she finally reached out to me. I stared at her for a minute-maybe too long. Rosalie had just made a nice gesture. Rosalie had gone out of her way for me…out of generosity. Rosalie was capable of premeditated kindness!

I was a little bit in shock, and then I wanted to hug her. I wondered if she would let me. I scooted a little closer to her on the couch. Her eyes widened some. I decided to just go for it, but I did warn her. "I'm going to hug you, and I don't care if you don't like it." I wrapped my arms around her neck. She stiffened but other than that, didn't move. "That is the nicest thing…" I noticed a sob in my voice and that's when her hand gave my back a double pat. I backed away ending her torture and swiping at my tears. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," she said, quickly. Apparently she was as uncomfortable with appreciation as she was affection. "So, how are you feeling? Can I get you anything?"

At that moment, I was sure a strange pod-person had taken over her body. The kindness was continuing, and even growing into concern and helpfulness. I wasn't going to question her though and possibly end the sweet madness. "How about some cookies? Esme always has some." She nodded, even though I had just suggested junk food. Forget about baby steps, we were taking giant leaps. We walked to the kitchen. We didn't skip along, holding hands-our leap wasn't quite that great. Dare I say, though, we were becoming friends?

After I ate cookies (she didn't have any-or maybe she had a bite of one) Rosalie helped me hang the clothes in my closet and said, "Your closet!" when I opened the door.

"I know, it's empty."

"It's really big." Ah, yes, it shouldn't have surprised me that she had the kind of wardrobe that brought about closet envy. I felt a little guilty that I hadn't appreciated the closet in all its vastness when I had first seen it. Instead I had worried about filling it so it wouldn't look so empty.

Her sister's maternity wardrobe consisted of mostly dresses with flowers on them or pastel colors. I didn't care. I would wear them anyway. Rosalie knew they weren't the most flattering dresses. She told me her sister was pregnant in New York in the summertime and was so hot that she didn't care what she looked like as long as she was cool. I would be pregnant in the summertime, too, I thought, rubbing my tummy that was really not any bigger, yet. My breasts, on the other hand were another story. I had let my bras out as far as they could go and still they were getting a little tight.

"So, Rosalie?" I couldn't help myself. Curiosity always wins with me. "Why so nice?" I sat on the edge of my bed. Rosalie stood where she was, keeping her distance. Maybe she was afraid I'd hug her again.

"I like you, Bella."

"Since when?"

"Since we had our show down in English Lit. You've got balls."

"And, why didn't you like me before that?"

"Why didn't you like _me_ before that?"

"I didn't know you," I said.

"Well, I didn't know you either."

"Yeah, but you were…mean."

"You don't know, Bella. I saw what all those girls at our god-forsaken school have put Edward through. Everyone was so quick to trust you, but I couldn't. You didn't see him before. Practically every girl was after him, and none for the right reason. They thought it would bring them popularity. He allowed a few girls in, started really caring, you know?"

"Tanya?"

"Who?" Okay, that made me feel better. If Rosalie didn't remember Tanya then it must have been nothing. "All those girls wanted was a trophy. It hurt him. He finally stopped letting anyone in. But they didn't give up. And the more he turned them down, the harder they tried. He was a wreck. He wouldn't even look at anyone for a long time and he would only talk to us. Then this one girl, Angela? She was really nice; she and Edward became friends. "

"Ben's Angela? She is nice. I've talked to her before." She was one of the only girls who was nice to me when I first moved to Forks, but she was too wrapped up in her boyfriend for us to really get to know each other.

"Well, she and Edward were really good friends last year, until she kissed him. He wasn't having any of that. Then she went around blabbing to Jessica and that Lauren bitch that Edward denied her or whatever. She cried to them, and they gave Edward a hard time for hurting her and supposedly leading her on. He felt awful about it because, well...you know him. Anyway, I saw you hanging around Jessica at first. I don't trust anyone who's friends with that girl. I was just waiting for your other shoe to drop-for you to hurt him or blab about him just to find your fake popularity."

"I never cared about any of that. And I was _never_ friends with Jessica. She showed me around on my first day of school and invited me to sit with her at lunch." Her idea of showing me around was not pointing out the bathrooms or the library or explaining which wing of the school led where. She filled me in on gossip, pointing at one person then another. I knew about students' dating lives before I knew their names. "I learned quickly how shallow she was," I said.

I thought about the day in Health when I had absentmindedly kissed Edward. If he had backed away, things would have turned out so different. Would I have been hurt or felt rejected? Would Jessica have noticed and passed my misfortune around on her silver platter of blather? I didn't blame Angela for what happened between her and Edward. It was all Jessica and Lauren. They were jealous and wanted to screw Angela out of any chance at all. And it worked. I refrained from saying any of this to Rosalie. She obviously wouldn't have agreed and I didn't need to plant myself on her bad side again.

"I know that now, girl." She said. "But don't you dare hurt him."

"I never would."

"You better not." There was not a hint of a smile on her lips. Her protectiveness over Edward was fierce, and endearing, really. I understood her mistrust in me, even though it was misguided.

"Rosalie, what are you going to do when Emmett goes to Stanford?"

"I'm going to Berkley. They have a great literature program."

I nodded. "As different as we are," I said," we actually have a lot in common."

"Scary," she said with a laugh. I let her leave without a hug but thanked her again for her generosity. I'm sure I saw her stiffen at the word generosity.

* * *

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	20. Inside Out

Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. I'm just an uninvited guest swimming in her pool.

* * *

The Path We Chose

CHAPTER 20: Inside Out

Out went Rosalie, in swept Esme with too many bags of groceries in her arms. I tried to take one, but she wouldn't let me. I saw a loaf of bread peeking out from the top of one, so I grabbed that. I had to carry_ something__._ She said we were having prime rib and twice baked potatoes. I couldn't help with the meat because the smell and the sight were testing my gag reflexes to the limit. At first, I didn't want Esme to know, afraid of hurting her feelings, so I just offered to do the potatoes. It became obvious to her, anyway, when I worked on the opposite end of the kitchen, holding my breath and avoiding the slightest glance in her direction. She laughed. "Bella, you don't have to. I understand."

"I'm fine," I choked out. "It's just the meat. It's all pink and it smells weird."

She leaned down to smell it. That's what did it. Too much saliva filled my mouth. I ran as fast as I could to the bathroom where I heaved and heaved and nothing came up. Nothing. No relief. Not again. I lay there on the floor, on the plush blue bath rug, just me and my nausea. I felt hands lifting me to my feet. "Let's get you to bed," Esme said. "If you feel like eating later, I'll send Edward up with food."

I tried to focus on Edward instead of the other stuff she said, like eating and food, but I couldn't. I broke from her grasp and headed for the toilet again. Esme held my hair back needlessly, because, once again, nothing came out of me except frustrated tears. I bent over the toilet for as long as I could stand it, just willing something to come up. Relieve my stomach. A couple of tears plopped into the toilet and I watched the lucky little things make their water rings.

"Come on," Esme said, petting my hair. I let her guide me upstairs to my bed and I lay down on top of the comforter, fully dressed. I hadn't even noticed she left the room until she returned with a glass of water. I didn't drink it. "Let me know if you need anything else." She kissed my cheek just like she was my mom. I wished she was. For just a minute, I wished she was. I closed my eyes trying to think of happier times with my real mom. I must have fallen asleep counting kind times with mother, because the next thing I felt was another kiss on my cheek, different lips.

"How are you feeling?" Edward asked. I didn't open my eyes, I just reached blindly for his hand. I don't know if I found it or if he gave it to me. Then I pulled him so he was lying behind me. I wrapped his arm over my body. He probably would have done it anyway, but I made sure of it. His lips were in my hair, kissing. I opened my eyes. The room was dark.

My voice was groggy. "In Phoenix, I got a 'C' on an English paper in Junior High. Did you know that? Me? A 'C' on an English paper. The assignment was to write a satire. Have you ever seen that painting with the poker playing dogs? I saw it and it prompted me to write a satire on dogs running the government."

"But you're afraid of dogs."

"Well, the government scares me, too, at times. Anyway, I was likely the only kid in class to actually go to the library and research my subject. My teacher didn't get it. You know what my mom did? She called my teacher and explained it to her. My teacher, I don't even remember her name…Mrs…Mrs. Furlong or Fleming or something, she agreed to read it again. She changed my grade to a 'B'. I thought I deserved an 'A' but she couldn't admit she was _that_ wrong, I guess." I turned around to look at him. I kissed his lips.

"The next year, freshman year, this boy, Demetri, my lab partner, had a crush on me. Unrequited feelings. He stole my science notebook the day before it was due and ran and hid it. He wouldn't give it back. I couldn't get a grade without it. It had everything in there--my work for the entire semester. My mom called his mom. I heard her yell at the other mom about how hard I work at school about how much my grades mean to me. The next day, Demetri gave it back. He didn't hand it to me though. He set it on the ground by my locker where I would find it. He wouldn't talk to me anymore, or even look at me. My mom. She didn't have to do that. I could have stuck up for myself if I wanted to. She was there, helping me through trivial stuff. At least in retrospect it seems trivial. But now, when I _need_ my mom, she's not here. She doesn't even want to be." Edward didn't say anything at all. He just let me babble. He didn't even interrupt with an uh-huh, to let me know he was listening. I already knew he was. I kissed him again. "How was work?" I asked, and the question made me feel old.

"Fine." He cleared his throat. "Do you want to talk about your mom some more?"

"No."

He tucked my head between his shoulder and his neck and played with the ends of my hair. "I'm sorry. I wish I could help. Maybe if I talked to her."

I shook my head. "Please don't. It would probably just…make things worse."

"Okay, I won't." He kissed my lips, then. It was a long, slow kiss. The kind of kiss that said, feel better. His kisses could always speak to me that way. We were both on our sides and he held me tight at my waist. I felt his stomach against mine. And he kept kissing me and I did feel better.

I held his face as I pulled away. "Did you eat?"

"No, I came right up to you as soon as my mom said you weren't feeling well. Are you hungry?"

"Not even a little bit." I shook my head and brought a hand to my stomach. "You should eat, though."

"If you're not eating, I'm not eating."

"You don't have to punish yourself for me."

"I'm not, Bella. Punishment would be being wherever you're not. Right now you're here and this is where I need to be."

"I know what you mean," I said and kissed him again. "Rosalie came over today," I said and got up, leading him to my closet, introducing him to my new maternity wardrobe. He held some of the dresses up, unbelieving that they would ever fit me.

"You're finally getting glimpses of the real Rosalie," he said.

"She sure does a good job of hiding herself." I sat on the edge of my bed and invited Edward to sit by patting a spot beside me. "She loves you a lot, though. Why? I mean, I've never seen you two hang out."

"No, we haven't really hung out since…you. But it's not your fault, Bella." He kissed the side of my head. "It's Rosalie's, if anyone's. She kept warning me that you were going to rip my heart like…well, I knew she was wrong, so I couldn't be around her when she talked about you like that. I didn't want to lose it on her, you know?"

I nodded.

"Rosalie and I have known each other since we were seven. Our parents are friends. But she always went to private schools. She transferred to Forks High freshman year. She was new and she was…you've seen her. She couldn't walk down the hall without being hit on or literally having her ass smacked. You'll never see anything like that now because of Emmett. Most guys won't even talk to her, now. Back then, she told me that I was the only guy she could trust because I didn't look at her like I wanted to eat her. I started walking her to all of her classes and she noticed that I was kind of in a similar boat. It wasn't near the same, though…she had it worse. I mean the girls, they'd grab me and whatever, but they didn't scare me. Rosalie was scared. We sort of became each other's protector. Then when she finally gave in to Emmett's advances, she didn't need me anymore. With Emmett, she grew this, I don't know, strength, I hadn't seen in her before. She continued in her protection of me, though, and with her newer confidence, her defense was stronger…she was like a cat, hissing at the girls." He laughed. "I guess it was just hard for her to break away from it. She was so used to hating any girl that talked to me."

"You know. You're strange for a guy. I thought guys liked when pretty girls were all over them."

"I blame my dad. He always taught me to be respectful to women. He taught me to treat girls like I would want my mother to be treated. So, yeah, I grew up caring."

"Tell me about Angela."

"Angela?" He sounded surprised and confused at the same time.

"Rosalie," was all I needed to say and then he nodded.

He hooked his fingers through mine. "We got to know each other really well last year. We had a lot of the same classes and studied together. I thought she was one girl that I could, you know, like," he shrugged and looked down. He looked shy. It made me smile. I'd never seen shy Edward. "We kissed once, but I didn't really feel anything. Apparently she did. I tried to feel something for her, so I kissed her a few more times, but it wasn't right. I wished I felt something so she wouldn't be so hurt or embarrassed. She was, though, and avoided me the next day. I let her. I thought she would get over it, but she didn't. I should have talked to her about it instead of letting her just avoid me. She was a good friend. And then Jessica and Lauren, they wouldn't let it go. I already felt horrible for hurting Angela, but those two wouldn't let either of us forget about it until Angela started dating Ben and _he_ told them to stop."

"What about Jessica and Lauren? Did anything ever happen…with them?" I squeezed my eyes, wishing I could take the question back.

"No way. I would never willingly put that shit in my mouth." He started to stand up but I laughed and pulled him back down, resting my head against his shoulder. I was proud of him.

"You have really good taste," I said.

"I know." His arm came around me, his hand holding my shoulder, his head against my head. I slipped both my arms around him, hugging his waist. I didn't ask him who else he had been with or dated. Maybe I knew them, maybe I didn't. But it wouldn't do me any good knowing who they were. Across from us was our growing collection of baby ultrasound pictures taped to the wall. We had two so far and we'd be adding to it again next week. "Do you want to find out our baby's sex?" He asked.

"No, do you?"

"No. It doesn't matter." We sat there, leaning against each other just gazing at our tiny baby. We just sat there. And that was when it happened. Right when I was feeling completely relaxed against Edward, everything decided to finally come up.

I barely made it across the hall and to the bathroom in time. Edward pulled my hair back while I vomited and vomited and vomited until there was nothing left inside me. He rubbed my back with his free hand and said, "Bella," a few times. "Bella. Bella."

My stomach hurt from all the heaving, and my throat was dry from all the emptying, and my legs were weak from all the bending, and still I laughed with relief that it was all finally out. I laughed while I rinsed my mouth, and between gulps of the glass of water Esme had left for me earlier. I laughed while brushing my teeth, too (until that made me gag).

"You're crazy," Edward said unable to stifle his own little laugh. Apparently mine was contagious. He ran a bath for me even though I was perfectly capable of reaching out and turning the knob myself. But he liked taking care of pregnant me, and I liked it, too. He helped me out of my clothes and kissed my naked parts as they were exposed but I pushed him away because he was turning me on and I had just vomited in front of him and that was gross. "What?" he asked.

"I'm yucky."

"You could never be yucky."

And then I had to laugh again because he'd just said "yucky."

He bent down and kissed my stomach. I watched him and when he pulled away, I noticed my belly was slightly rounder. I touched it. It looked and felt like I was bloated or full from a big meal, but I couldn't be; I'd just emptied myself. I smiled at Edward. "My tummy."

"What about it?"

"It's bigger."

He looked down. "It is?" He ran a hand over it. He didn't notice, but I did and just like when I'd first heard baby's heartbeat, it felt real. More real than when I vomited or had weird food cravings.

My smile grew wider as I sank into the tub. He brought me a towel, a wash cloth, and a book. He lit some candles for me and told me to relax before he reached for the doorknob.

"Stay," I said. And he did.

I handed him my book. "Read," I said. And he did.

* * *

A couple of weeks, and a few more vomiting experiences later, something was seriously wrong at lunch. Emmett and Rosalie were on top of each other as usual--so that was fine. But Alice and Jasper were far apart. Neither of them smiling. Alice always gave me a smile when she saw me, but not today.

Seeing them like this was eerie. It made me squeeze Edward's hand. "Hey," I said, hoping they were just dazed and would snap out of it.

"Hi," Alice said.

I sat down across from her. "Is something wrong?"

She'd gained the attention of all of us now. We were all looking at her--except Jasper. He stared straight ahead. "Nope. If something were wrong, I would know, wouldn't I?"

"Um, I guess so. Jasper? Are you okay?"

He looked at me and gave me one nod. I turned to Edward and he was frowning.

"Yeah," Emmett said. "Something's up with you two."

"Emmett!" Alice shouted. "Stop it. We're not _talking_ about it. Are we Jasper?"

That was the first time Alice had even glanced in Jasper's direction but he wasn't looking at her at all. She got up, grabbed her backpack, left her tray and headed for the doors. I saw Jasper move in a slight attempt to go after her but he stopped himself. I looked over at Rosalie and we both followed Alice outside. Edward squeezed my fingers before I left and I glanced back at him to see his half-smile. I gave him as much of a smile as I could muster.

Rosalie and I didn't have to say anything to Alice. She started the talking.

"I know you guys are going to ask me what's wrong and you're not going to drop it. I know you two. So I'm going to tell you once and then you can't ask me any more questions or talk to me about it because I am NOT going to cry at school again." I didn't think I had to tell her that she was already crying. She wiped her tears herself and she didn't talk for several minutes. None of us did. Alice sat down on a low brick wall encasing a flower bed, the American flag waving high over the middle. "Jasper's parents are divorcing. His dad _pushed_ his mom. He didn't hurt her, but he did do it. Jasper said they used to be the most 'in love' couple he'd ever known. Like…us." She brought a hand to her chest. "I think. I think…he's going to break up with me." It came out in a whisper and the only reason I heard it was because I expected it.

All I could do was stare at her. What could I do for her? I thought about if this were me. If I feared Edward was breaking up with me. My heart sped up and my palms started to sweat at the mere thought. "Alice," was the only word I could get out.

Rosalie sat next to her and brought Alice's head to her shoulder, petting her hair. "I'm sure he's not going to break up with you," she said. How did Rosalie know what to do? She was the least affectionate person I knew. I realized then that she could be affectionate if she was the initiator and in control of how far the affection grew.

"He won't talk to me, Rose. He's _never_ not talked to me. I mean he won't talk about anything at all. Do you know I saw him throw a plastic bottle in the trash? He didn't recycle! When I reminded him, he shrugged his shoulders."

"Alice," I said again and reached for her hand. Why couldn't I say anything else? Because I'd never been in a position like hers before. Edward was my one. No one had ever broken up with me. But Jasper was her one, too. The wind blew through my hair at that moment like it was trying to knock some sense into me. "Jasper loves you too much to let you go."

"I know, Bella. He loves me _too_ much. That's what he said. That's the last thing he said to me."

And what do you say to that? I looked at Rosalie, who seemed also at a loss for words. All I could do was join them on the low brick wall and hug Alice along with Rosalie. She didn't want to talk about it anymore, anyway. The three of us hugged and waited for the bell to ring. I didn't walk to Health with Edward that day. I walked with Alice. Edward was waiting for me at his desk and Jasper wasn't in class at all. I checked Alice--made sure she wasn't going to cry. Her face was blank as she took her seat.

I went over to Edward, pushed my chair next to his and leaned against him. His arm came around me and I put a hand on his stomach. I needed to feel him close. Mrs. Hines started class by putting on another video. I had no idea what it was about this time because I looked up at Edward and he looked down at me and we started kissing. As good as it felt to kiss him, I made myself pull away because I didn't want Alice to see us. Not in the state she was in. She was staring down at her desk, though, watching her finger rub along each fingernail one at a time.

"Bella?" Edward whispered right in my ear, bringing goose bumps up and down my arm.

"Hmm?"

"Your hand is under my shirt and as amazing as it feels, your fingers are doing things to me that I cannot control." He shifted in his seat.

My hand was on Edward's stomach, under his shirt and I hadn't even been aware of it. I'd wanted to feel close to him so badly that I was unconsciously touching his bare skin. I pulled my hand out from his shirt. "Sorry."

"Never apologize for that." He kissed my temple, let his lips linger and I closed my eyes. With my eyes closed, I smelled it.

What was that smell? Bleach? No, Lysol. I gagged and brought a hand to my mouth. Gagged again. I got up, walked as fast as I could to the door without a word to the teacher and once I was in the hallway, I ran toward the nearest bathroom. I didn't even bother locking the stall, I just let it all out. Once this started, apparently, it didn't stop. Especially when you're me and you're throwing up in a public toilet. That thought made it worse and I vomited all over again. I closed my eyes, trying hard not to think about where I was and what was happening. I reached out and felt around for the knob to flush. When I heard the last of the water leave the toilet, I opened my eyes again. I waited until I was sure nothing more was coming and then went to rinse my mouth. But Jessica was there. What the hell…did she follow me? I pushed by her and turned on the faucet.

"I didn't follow you Bella," she said as though she'd heard my thoughts. "Mrs. Hines told me to come after you. It's not like I wanted to. Do you think I want the stomach flu right now?" She checked herself in the mirror, smoothed her eyeliner.

"Jessica," I said, my eyes still watering. "Do you have any mints?" I reminded myself then to keep mints in my backpack and a toothbrush and toothpaste.

She pulled a tin of mints out of her backpack and plopped two into my hand, careful not to touch me. I put them both in my mouth at the same time but they were so strong they made me gag again. I spit one out into my hand and shut my eyes, willing myself not to throw up again.

"Do you need to see the nurse?"

"Maybe. But don't worry about it. Go back to class."

I followed her out of the bathroom and Edward was right there. He pulled on my arm until I was against his chest.

"She's going to give you her flu," Jessica said.

"She can give me anything she wants," he said and kissed my head. I watched Jessica leave. Edward tried to kiss my lips but I wouldn't let him. "Bella, you just got sick because of my baby. At least let me kiss you."

I covered my mouth and shook my head. He pulled my hand away. "Please?"

"Okay, but closed mouth only." I pursed my lips and reached up to him but that sneaky boyfriend of mine let his tongue drift over my closed lips. My tongue automatically sought his until I stopped it.

"You cheated."

He just smiled at me. "Feeling okay now?"

I nodded.

"Do you need to go home? I can take you home."

"No. I don't want you to miss your last class. I only have PE. I'll sit out."

He asked me if I was sure and I said I was. "Edward, did you talk to Jasper?"

"I tried. He wouldn't talk. Emmett tried, too. He brought up that homeless shelter that's shutting down in Port Angeles. Jasper still wouldn't talk. Something is up with him."

I explained what Alice had told me, including Jasper loving her _too_ much.

"Do you think we should do something or stay out of it?"

"I don't know," he said. "If it was us, Jasper would definitely do something."

I nodded. He already had done something. Lots of things for us. "But if he needs space…what if we make it worse?"

"You invite Alice over and I'll invite Jasper and we'll just see what happens."

I nodded. And then, instead of returning to Health class, we stood in the hall holding on to each other like our relationship was the one in jeopardy.

* * *

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So, I know some of you have been waiting for the showing tummy. It is just beginning. Are you happy, now?! ;)


	21. Veil Lifted

* * *

Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. I'm just an uninvited guest swimming in her pool.

* * *

The Path We Chose

Chapter 21: Veil Lifted

Three days of Alice refusing to come over or talk about Jasper had come and gone before I drove to her house after school, grabbed her hand and took her by force to the Cullens'.

"You're coming with me. No more wallowing," I said. She lacked the strength to argue. He arm was limp as I pulled her along to my truck.

I hadn't seen any interaction between her and Jasper in the last three days, and they weren't riding to school together anymore. For the first hour or so, I avoided the Jasper subject and she seemed relieved and even relaxed a little bit.

I showed her the three pictures on my wall of my growing baby and then I showed her my growing stomach.

"Alice, look," I said and lifted up my shirt. "You can't tell with my clothes on, but look at that." I put a hand on my stomach and so did she.

"Bella," she said, and smiled. "you're so cute. No, you're beautiful. You really are."

"Thank you. Come on. Let's get some food and feed baby."

She followed me downstairs, willingly. I didn't even have to take her hand. When we got to the bottom of the stairs and crossed the foyer, Edward entered the house, Jasper right behind him. Jasper froze in his spot when he saw Alice and stared at her for a minute before his expression turned into pain. I looked at Edward. Was this a mistake?

"I thought you said you were volunteering at Birch Gardens," Alice said. "You lied to me so I wouldn't try to see you?" She turned from him and headed into the living room, the rest of us following.

"I didn't lie. I am working there today. I just came here first because Edward said…" He turned to Edward. "…you don't need to talk to me do you, man? What is this?!"

Alice spoke before Edward could answer. "Don't let me interrupt your _talk_. No worries, Jasper. I'll go."

"Wait, Alice," I said.

"You, too?" she said.

"J," Edward said, "I don't know what is going on with your parents, but it has nothing to do with you and Alice. Look at her. I know you can feel her pulling away from you. If I can see it, so can you. Something is really up with you, J. I don't know what it is but it's ruining what you have with Alice. I can't let that happen. I know I wouldn't want to fuck things up with Bella like that." He paused and looked at me, then shook his head. "I mean I wouldn't want to hurt her or lose her. Not ever. If you lose this chance with Alice, you'll regret it. You know that."

"Who says he hasn't already lost me?"

Jasper's head shot to Alice. He seemed to crumble right there…into bits. He sank into the nearest chair. "Don't say that, Alice."

"Why not? You're avoiding me. You say you love me too much and I don't understand that. If you're going to dump me Jasper, just do it now. Go be with someone you can love just enough. Get it over with. Don't drag it on like this. Just do it!"

His eyebrows narrowed further and he kept shaking his head. "I'd never dump you. Hurting you is what I fear the most." He shut his eyes. "Fuck. Alice, can we talk somewhere else?"

"It's okay," I said. "We'll leave."

"No! You stay right where you are," Alice said. "Jasper's had plenty of chances to talk to me alone. He blew it. Go ahead. Say what you have to say."

He stood up and stared down at her. He didn't move. He was like a statue, a rock; his lips didn't open; his eyes didn't blink. I could have climbed on him, all the way up his legs to his shoulders--he was that still. When he finally moved, he turned to Edward. "Why did you do this? You could have mentioned she would be here, man."

"Maybe I went about it wrong. I'm not you, J. But I owe you this."

"You don't owe me anything. I don't keep score."

"Well, I do."

"Alice," I said, "Let us give you privacy." She took my hand.

"No. I don't need it. Take me home right now, Bella. He obviously doesn't want to talk to me."

She pulled me toward the door and I shot a look at Edward. What do I do now? The answer wasn't in his face.

"Wait." Jasper grabbed Alice by the wrist. She yanked it away and his arm dropped to his side. "I'm just so…Alice, I can't fucking talk about it. I'm going to fu…" He covered his face with his hands. "I'm scared of hurting you."

"You _are_ hurting me. Right now, Jasper. This hurts."

His hands fell to his sides again and he looked at her with wet eyes and then he shut them tight. "I know. I can feel it and I'm sorry. I hate the way I'm making you feel right now." His eyes opened again. "I-I love you." He took a step toward her but she stepped back.

I started to back away slowly hoping Alice wouldn't notice. Jasper really wanted them to be alone. It was obvious he was not comfortable sharing his feelings in front of an audience.

"I know. You love me _too_ much. I remember. Bella, stop moving."

"Alice," I said, but Jasper interrupted me.

"I meant I love you too much to hurt you. I can't trust myself right now. I'm all mixed up. Here," he reached out to her. "take my hand. I think it will be easier for me to explain if--"

"I'm not touching you!"

"Okay," he sighed. "Look baby. I have so many different people's emotions running through my veins right now and I can't separate them." His voice grew gradually louder as he explained. "I'm carrying my mother's sadness, my father's anger, my own fear, and your pain--all at once, Alice! And see, now I'm Fucking yelling at you! Fuck." He brought a hand to his forehead and took a deep breath. When he spoke again he was calm. "My father's anger is strong inside me…I can't hurt you like my dad hurt my mom. I won't! I'm just trying to give that anger a chance to subside, weaken its hold on me, before I say something or do something to you that I'll regret. That's how much I love you and it scares the hell out of me that I might hurt you. You don't know what it's like to watch a love like my parents' slowly deteriorate. The fact that it's even a possibility is…that can't happen to us!" He raised his voice again and in the next instant it was low again. "And look at you, you're so amazing, you're already forgiving me, aren't you? I don't deserve it, but you are." A faint smile traced his lips.

"Why didn't you tell me, Jasper? I had no idea because you weren't talking to me."

"Because, like I said, I'm scared. I can't keep my thoughts straight and whatever I say might come out wrong, and I don't want to take any of my frustrations out on you. It's safer for us if I don't talk. And I'm sorry I yelled at you. God!" He paused and looked into her eyes for a minute. She held his gaze. "Step closer. I'll keep my hands off you. Just step closer, please."

She took a step toward him and he motioned with his hand for her to come closer. "No hands," he said, holding them both up. She took another step. And then he broke any distance left between them. He bent down, hands behind his back, as promised, and kissed her. As soon as their lips touched, Alice's arms were around his neck and she was kissing him back. She took his arms and put them around her and Jasper was interspersing apologies between kisses until their kissing grew so deep he could no longer speak. I wondered how much longer Alice would really remain a virgin. I had to look away. I went to Edward and we both smiled at each other and left out the back sliding door before either of them noticed we were leaving. I grabbed a box of crackers on the way out which made Edward laugh.

We walked toward the creek and over his footbridge to our big rock where we sat together. He took the box of crackers from me and fed me one and then himself one. "That was so close," I said. "It almost blew up right in front of us."

"No. I knew that if Jasper could just see he was about to lose Alice it would give him the shock of reality he needed to talk to her. He's been in a cloud. He had to be knocked down to Earth." He picked up a stone and tossed it into the creek. It plunked into the water, joining and blending with the rest of the rocks down there. The water was flowing quickly but at the same time seemed at peace. I wanted to take off my shoes and step into it. Join its steady flow. But I knew it was freezing and I wouldn't be able to even hold a toe in there. "Did you see them? I wonder if they're in your room by now." And then I laughed because I knew how he'd felt when Emmett and Rosalie took over his room on New Year's.

"Better not be." He grabbed me and pulled me close to his side. "Bella, do you know what Jasper told me? I asked him how he could hold out so long with Alice. I mean, do you know what restraint it takes for me to keep my hands off you? I'm not exaggerating when I tell you that I want you all the time. I thought maybe it was easier for him to hold back if she was hesitant, but he said that it's harder because he not only feels her hesitancy, but her desire. I mean, can you imagine? Doubling a seventeen-year-old guys desire? That's insane."

"Poor Jasper."

"Tell me about it. He told us he was weak that one time, but he's fucking strong."

Both of us stared out at the creek. "I want to come here when it's sunny out. It must be beautiful in the sun."

His lips touched my cheek and his finger turned my chin toward him until our mouths found each other. "It is…" he kissed me, his tongue reaching for mine, "…beautiful."

Alice and Jasper were both gone when we arrived back at the Cullens' and there was no sign of them having stepped foot in Edward's room.

* * *

Jasper remained quiet for weeks, but Alice wasn't upset by it. She'd kiss his cheek every-so-often and get a smile from him. His arms were around Alice again and those were the times when his face relaxed, as though her feeling of content was leaking into him . It was relieving to see. Slowly he started joining in our lunch conversations until finally he was laughing again at the spectacle that was Emmett, who was actually mind-wrestling his chemistry teacher--challenging him on the Big Bang theory. He'd grabbed the unsuspecting Mr. Banner's attention by opening with a lab question that developed into theology questioning. Finally, Mr. Banner told Emmett to bring it up in class.

"No way," Emmett said. "I'm not giving you time to research the subject. I don't work that way, Mr. Banner. You either know your stuff or you don't."

That was when Mr. Banner left our lunch table and we all laughed…including Jasper.

* * *

The day after Jasper finally laughed on that rainy Tuesday at the tail end of April, held more significance than I could have imagined upon waking up that morning. I should have known something was up when my only clothing option was a skirt. I had to wear the cotton thing because I happened to be behind on laundry and my only clean pair of jeans were too tight. I'm pretty sure this was the first time I'd worn a skirt since I'd moved to Forks. I used to wear them in Phoenix because on really hot days they kept me cool.

I had to keep pushing Edward's hand away in the car on the way to school. He seemed to like that I was wearing a skirt. I felt his hand drifting up my thigh again.

"Edward, stop." I laughed and pushed his hand back to my knee.

"Then don't be so tempting, Bella." He took his eyes off the road for a second to look at me, his hand pushing back against my skirt revealing more of my thigh. "Your legs." I started to push his hand away again, but he held onto my thigh and said, "leave it."

"Watch the road," I said, but I did leave his hand there. I looked out my window and smiled at the fir trees. Who was I kidding? I liked his hand right where it was.

Between first and second period, I was stopped by Jessica. She was right there when I shut my locker and turned around.

"Either you got breast implants, or you're pregnant," she said, her arms folded in front of her, her head tilted--her signature stance, it seemed. "You never wear make-up or style your hair. You don't pay any attention to the way you dress. Obviously your appearance is not a top priority for you, so that eliminates implants. I've seen you puke, and you live with Edward. I'm going with pregnant."

I just looked at her. How could I deny it? Jessica or not, I couldn't deny my baby. I touched my stomach and smiled.

"Break up with Edward and I won't tell anyone."

"Does your brain work?" I felt like knocking on her head. "I'm not breaking up with Edward. You can tell whoever you want."

"Bella, why have you always hated me? Ever since we first met. We could have been friends but you dropped me for those other people. Is it because you wanted Edward so badly you would step on all your friends to get him?"

"We were never friends, Lauren."

"I'm Jessica."

"You're one and the same," I waved my hand at her because her name really didn't matter to me. "And I don't hate you because I don't care enough about you. You're phony and sad and insignificant, really, and I think that scares you more than anything. Everything you do, the way you act, it's all to make yourself feel significant but it only makes it worse, doesn't it? If I did have any feeling for you at all, it would be pity."

And then she pushed me. She pushed me right into the locker. I stood there, the lock digging into my spine. She looked shocked, herself, at first, but then she glared. I couldn't fight back and she knew it. To make matters worse, I was in this damned skirt. I searched for a friendly face in the kids passing by. Some students had stopped to watch. An audience would only make Jessica behave worse. My heart was pounding so hard I felt it in my stomach--in my feet. And then I saw her.

"Angela!" I said. She looked at me with question marks in her deep brown eyes. We hadn't really talked since my first week here other than a few hellos in the halls.

"Yeah Bella?" She walked toward me and as soon as she was close enough, I linked arms with her like we were best friends and led her away from Jessica who was laughingbehind me.I prayed she would remain where she was.

I dropped Angela's arm. "I'm sorry. I just had to get away from Jessica."

"Believe me, I completely understand." She pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose. If anyone's face was made for glasses, it was hers. They made her more attractive. For just a second, I wondered what it was that made Edward fall for me and not her. But I let it go. I wasn't about to question fate or feelings or whatever it was that brought Edward and me together.

"Would you mind walking with me to Mr. Molina's class? I need to talk to Edward."

She didn't mind. I asked her how things were with Ben. She said they were fine and gave me her genuine smile. Now I could be happy, guilt-free, that things didn't work out between her and Edward. Happy for her and for me. I thanked her and waited at the door for Edward. I looked for his face in every student that passed. Finally, the right face was there.

"Bella? What are you doing here?"

"Can I borrow your car? I'm leaving for the day. I'll pick you up after school."

"Are you sick? What's wrong?"

"No." I stood on tiptoe, holding his shoulders to whisper in his ear, "Jessica knows. People are going to find out." His hands came to mine on top of his shoulders, his fingers clasping.

"Who told her?"

"She guessed."

"What? How?"

I looked down at my chest and up at him. He got it. I could tell by the little sideways smile playing on his lips. He reached for his keys, placed them in my hand and kissed me. "Be careful," he said, "the rain."

* * *

Barefoot and snacking on a pear in the Cullen's kitchen, I called Carlisle to tell him I was ready for independent study. He said he would set it up for me, but I should finish out this week at school. Distracted by the sweet taste of the pear and frantically checking the fruit bowl for another one, I made him wait on the line until I found one more pear under the apples.

"Bella?" he said.

"Oh, sorry. I can't go back there, Carlisle." I didn't tell him that it was because the school halls were lousy with idiots. He agreed to excuse me for the next few days. I had barely hung up the phone when Edward's voice bellowed through the house calling my name. I'm in the kitchen, I told him, putting the second pear down.

"Why didn't you tell me about the fight?" He dropped his backpack and placed a hand on the counter.

"Because there wasn't a fight."

"Everyone's talking about it. You and Jessica."

"Do they know about me?"

"No one was talking about the pregnancy, just you and Jessica. Tyler said you pushed her. Did you push her because she figured it out?"

"If I pushed her, it was only with words. She pushed me. I fell into the lockers. I didn't do anything. I couldn't." My hand automatically went to my belly and then his was there, too, on top of mine.

"_She_ pushed _you_?" He turned around like he was going to stomp right back out of the house, but in stead of leaving he faced me again. "Are you okay? Did she hurt you?"

"No. I'm fine. Did you talk to Jessica?"

"I didn't have time to go looking for her. I had to come straight to you."

"Wait. How did you get here?"

"Jasper dropped me off. He had library hour anyway. I'm calling my dad." He reached for the phone.

"I just did. I told him I won't be going back to school, but I didn't tell him exactly why."

"I'm telling him. We're not keeping this to ourselves when it also involves baby."

"Just promise you won't do anything at school. Ignore her. I don't want you getting in trouble again."

"I'm going to talk to her, Bella. She can't do this."

"Just talk, then. No yelling. Stay calm. Don't get in trouble." I kissed him. "Promise?"

"I promise," he said and kissed me. "I'm glad you're okay." And then he reminded me that we were alone in the house by putting his hands, his perfect hands, all over my body. He licked my lips, "mmm, pear." We didn't even bother going to his room. We did make it to the living room sofa, though. He said in a quick breath that the kitchen floor wasn't gentle enough for me.

On the sofa, my shirt was pushed up, my bra open but still on, and my skirt was scrunched up to my waist. My panties and Edward's shirt were the only articles of clothing that had made it off our bodies and onto the floor. He was on top of me, his pants pushed down to his knees and he was still wearing his shoes. My after-quivers hadn't finished their quakes yet when we both laughed at our own sight.

"We're like an old married couple," he said, "We can't even bother with getting naked."

"It's just been a while," I said.

"It's been two days, Bella." We laughed at my logic. "The way we are, it was inevitable that you would get pregnant."

"Well, then after baby is born, we're going to have to be extremely careful. Pills, condoms, diaphragms, because I am not having another baby until we are good and ready."

He stroked my hair out of my face, moving the strands that had stuck to my cheek and my lip and then kissed me.

"It still felt good, " I said.

"Felt so fucking good." He tried to pull out of me, but I held him tight between my legs. He laughed and gave my throat a kiss just under my jaw. "You."

"What about me?"

He tucked his arms around me and squeezed so tight it made me gasp. "Just, you. You're perfect."

"Nobody's perfect. Everyone has flaws."

"If you're flawed, then you're perfectly flawed." His lips brushed my jaw and left kisses down my throat, his tongue and his breath sending chills over my body. "No flaws there." He kissed lower until he got to my shirt. He pulled on it with his teeth. "Here's a flaw."

I had to agree with that and made a suggestion. "Let's go upstairs, take off all our clothes and try it again, naked. Let's see which way is better." He thought that was the best experiment in history.

The first way was fast, spontaneous and full of need, now, and passion. And on the sofa. The second way was on his bed and slow--all skin against skin and lips and tongues exploring until neither of us could stand it anymore. Both of us tortured at our own euphoric peak, neither allowed completely over the edge, until I pushed him down, got on top of him and demanded it. Our result was inconclusive. Neither one of us could decide which was better.

"Both good," I said on a deep breath.

"Hear, hear," he said with all the enthusiasm he could muster. We were both on our backs, completely still, aside from our heaving chests. "Let's take a nap before my mom gets home." He turned over and dropped an arm over me. I didn't care that it was heavy and lazily slung across my chest to my shoulder. I rested my hand on his forearm and rubbed at the hair there. He gripped my shoulder for just a second--an answer to my touch. Then his hand fell limp as he succumbed to sleep. I followed.

"Bella! Bella!" Esme's voice floating up the stairs, and the front door slamming startled me from sleep. I was up in an instant scurrying for my clothes. Edward threw my bra at me but I didn't bother with it. I slipped my t-shirt over my head and yanked my skirt on. Edward laughed at me, smoothing my hair, and I rushed out, following the sounds of banging cabinets and pots in the kitchen.

"Bella. Stir this." She handed me a big spoon and motioned toward a large mixing bowl. I set it down and washed my hands before I started my stirring. "I need to make three dozen cupcakes and get them to the school in less than two hours. Today's the Bake Sale and one of the moms got sick and can't do it." She had been gathering ingredients throughout her explanation. She was like a whirlwind in the kitchen and making so much noise you would think there were five of us in there instead of two. I just stood in my spot stirring as instructed.

Though Esme wore her chef hat well, the baker's hat did not quite fit. Her recipe was spread out in front of her and she kept checking it and re-checking it, then adding ingredients to the creamy mixture I was in charge of stirring. Edward sauntered into the kitchen relaxed and whistling, and shirtless. What was he trying to do to me? I smiled at him and when our eyes met, we both laughed.

"You two, always laughing at something." Esme said. "Edward, grab the cupcake liners from the pantry, will you?" She plugged in the mixer and handed it to me without a word, then her head was in the refrigerator. I didn't know what speed to use, so I just picked one, pressed the button and mixed. Edward came back with the liners, he was humming now. Esme grabbed them from him and began lining the pans on the counter next to me. I paused the mixer to scrape the sides of the bowl with a spatula. Edward's arms came around me from behind, felt their way under my shirt to my stomach, and he kissed my ear, following it up with a slow lick and a warm breath, reawakening my goose bumps. My eyes closed and I smiled. He had yet to say a word. He was so post-coital it was ridiculous…and embarrassing…and adorable.

I couldn't help but reach back to put my hand on his naked bicep. It called to me.

"The two of you remind me of Carlisle and me," Esme said cheerily. Then she froze, she actually paused for the first time since I joined her in the kitchen and her eyes widened, looking from Edward to me and back at him again. I'm pretty sure I blushed as my eyes shot back to my mixing responsibility. I started the mixer up again. Edward gave me a squeeze before letting go, leaving my skin lonely without his touch.

"Um, How is that looking Bella?" Esme asked.

"I think it's ready."

She took the bowl from me and started dropping the batter into the pans with her big spoon. I looked past her at Edward, my Edward, who was smiling at me.

* * *

Are you still with me? Let me know with a review.

What do you think of double-post-coital Edward? Ridiculous? Embarrassing? Adorable? Or something else?


	22. Neptune's Tide

Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. I'm just an uninvited guest swimming in her pool.

**Warning**: This chapter contains discussion of a controversial matter. It is not meant to offend or to sway any beliefs. It's just Emmett--he can't help it.

* * *

The Path We Chose

Chapter 22: Neptune's Tide

"Do you want to go to Prom?" Edward was looking at me through the mirror, dragging a razor over his creamy white lathered face. I wondered how many girls had been asked to Junior Prom by their sexy, half-dressed boyfriend while he shaved before school. _Only the lucky ones_.

"No, thank you."

"I didn't think so, but I had to ask. I'm taking you out, though."

"Are we going to see The Cliffs like on Homecoming night?" I was seated sideways on the lidded toilet watching him--just being with him. He would leave for school soon and I wouldn't see him again until 3:00. No more lunch. No more Health. No more rides to and from school. And on the days he worked, it could be 7:00 before I saw him again. Nearly twelve anti-Edward hours. This was not an adjustment I was looking forward to making.

"No," he laughed. "I won't be subjecting you to that on prom night. I think you should wear a dress, though. You can bring a change of clothes if you want."

"Can I wear flats?"

"What are those?"

"Dress shoes without heels."

"Oh, yeah. Yes, that's a good idea. Definitely wear flats." He rinsed his razor and then it raked the other side of his face leaving a trail of smooth skin in it's wake.

"What shirt do you want to wear today? I'll get it for you."

"The gray T-shirt."

"My favorite!" I went to his closet to grab it for him.

"You say that about all my T-shirts."

"That's because they all fit you just so."I came back with his shirt slung over my arm. "No putting it on until you're ready to walk out the door, mister" I said, holding it tight to me. He turned and kissed the tip of my nose, blotting my mouth with shaving cream from his chin. I pressed my lips to his shoulder and rubbed the cream right off.

"Mmmm," he said. "I like it when you're in here with me in the morning."

"Me too."

7:15 came too quickly. I walked him to the door. "Remember that you promised to stay out of trouble. You're going to talk to Jessica calmly and non-threateningly, right?"

"Yes, mother."

I put my tongue in his mouth, kissing him goodbye, reminding him that I _wasn't_ his mother. Then I rubbed my cheek against his clean shaven one. The next time I'd feel it, hours upon hours later, it wouldn't be near as smooth. I handed him the gray shirt but before he could put it on, I ran my hands over his chest and up to his neck. His eyes closed and he let out a sigh. "The things you do to me in the morning. You're better than caffeine."

He pulled his shirt on and I smiled, turning away. I wanted the Shirtless-Edward image savored in my head.

I waited until Edward left to shower and dress. Shortly after, the doorbell rang and I answered it with wet hair. It was Emmett. "Why aren't you at school?" I asked

"Hello, to you too, B. I need to talk to you but you never answer your phone or call me back."

"Sorry, I didn't get your messages. I broke my phone. What's so important? Come in." I moved aside to let him in, but instead he picked me up like I was a doll and spun me around. "We may have found Edward a scholarship," he said, setting me down.

"Seriously?! How?"

"My dad knows of this local group of old, rich, Stanford Alumni who offer a small number of full scholarships per year."

"How small?"

"Three."

"Just three? That's not very promising."

"No, but my dad thinks Edward has a good chance because he is local, he has the GPA, and his, uh special circumstances." He pointed to my stomach. "This group, they're trying to grow and they need more notoriety. Awarding someone in Edward's circumstance could give them what they're looking for. Especially if he is successful with it, which he will be. Wait, don't hug me yet. The main Alumnus who founded the scholarship, Aro something or other, has agreed to meet with us at his house in Port Angeles. My dad is sending along a letter recommending Edward for the scholarship and he thinks it would be a good idea to get your dad to write one, too. You know, being the Chief of police and all. Okay, now hug me."

So I did. I jumped on him because he was fun to jump on. He was strong and quick to catch me and didn't stumble or even take a step. He laughed and set me back on my feet for the second time in a matter of minutes.

"I'll get a letter from my dad right away. When do we meet this Aro guy?"

"Saturday at two. Can you get away from your ever-present protector?"

"Yes! I need a non-prom dress, anyway."

Edward would be working on Saturday so I wouldn't even need to make up a lie to get away. I'd purely use the power of omission. That's what I'd told Emmett, but due to my bones nearly bursting from my skin in anxious excitement, lie-avoidance was easier said than done.

"What's up with you?" Edward said when he arrived home from school. I'd been waiting outside for him and pulled him out of the car and into a kiss before he'd had a chance to turn off the ignition. It turned off anyway, stalling, as soon as his foot came off the clutch.

"I'm happy to see you. How was school?"

"Awful and tedious without you. I never realized how many couples there are at school until you weren't there. Everything reminded me of you and I even thought I saw you a few times."

"And Jessica?"

"She's taken care of. Don't worry about her. But I am no longer Edward, I am now Daddy to one and all. They think it bothers me but they're wrong and not a little disappointed when all it does is make me laugh. Jessica is not the one who directly spread the news, though. It seems she told Lauren who made sure everyone else was well-filled in, but Jessica acted in complete surprise as though she hadn't known _before_ she shoved you."

"Come here, Daddy," I said pulling his neck into a hug and hopping up and down a few times.

"This is because you're happy to see me? You're bouncing. What else is going on?"

My mind was never one to work quickly in moments like these so I just looked at him for a minute waiting for something acceptable to come to mind. When nothing did, I smiled and shrugged.

"Seems your day was better than mine." He kissed me. "I'm glad."

The morning Edward had told me I'd need a dress, Emmett was the last person I thought would end up dress shopping with me. I didn't tell him until we were on the road that I needed a new bra, too. Emmett turned the stereo down shortly after he pulled out of the Cullens' driveway.

"Let's mind-wrestle." He said it all mischievously like a kid might say, _let's get into trouble_. Emmett is the only teenager I've ever known who would rather argue over controversial subjects in the car than listen to music. I was near positive he didn't listen to music when he was driving alone, either. I was convinced he listened to talk radio.

"No way."

"Come on. I'm having withdrawals. I've got the shakes; I'm jonesin'. Save me with a fix, B. Besides you owe me this. I am going into a lingerie shop for you today."

"Emmett, you and I both know you're going to enjoy the hell out of that."

"Okay, but I also have to go to a dress shop, and until today the phrase 'dress shop' wasn't a part of my vocabulary. Gay marriage."

"What?"

"Yea or Nay?"

I knew it would never be that simple. No way would he leave it at a yes or no answer. "I don't believe it's my business who one person decides to marry."

"Come on, B." He frowned at me. "You have to have an opinion. When I say 'wedding,' what immediately comes to mind, a bride and groom, or a groom and groom, or what?"

I sighed and looked out the window. All forest, we still had a ways to go. "Bride and groom, but that's only because it's more common." I knew I would regret stepping onto his game board but I also knew he wouldn't put it away until I did. And I was stuck in his car with no escape.

"Well, what about the future repercussions that some people argue may follow the national legalization of gay marriage? You know, the effect on children, the changing views of the traditional family, polygamy--"

"Polygamy?" I turned from the window to look at him. I was his pawn now and he knew it. I saw his knightly smile--strong and assured and ready to draw his sword for battle. "What does Polygamy have to do with it?"

"Some people seem to fear that legalized gay marriage is a gateway, if you will, to legalizing polygamy and other such subjects--subjects I won't even mention in front you and your blush. These people like to paint a scary Pandora's-box-picture. Fear. But fear is a distinct issue in its own right."

"No, no, no, Emmett. I've taken a dip in your 'fear' issue already. One issue today and that's it. How can you even argue polygamy, anyway? Marriage is between two people, not three or four."

"Sure, B, just as some people would say marriage is an institution solely involving a man and a woman. How can you define marriage one way to serve your purpose and not expect someone else to re-define marriage to serve a similar purpose?"

"I don't see a similarity between homosexuality and polygamy, but if you're saying the similarity is marriage in general, I guess it's kind of like stealing. If I steal a pack of gum or a book, nothing will really happen to me. Maybe I'll have to pay a fine. But if I steel a car, then that's a felony. It's two different matters with unique outcomes, and thievery being the one similarity."

"Well, now you're talking about perspective. Depending on a person's perspective, someone could use your same analogy to argue against gay marriage."

"All I know is I don't want anyone telling me I can't marry the man I love, and I won't do that to anybody else, either." I rested my head against the window, hoping I was done.

"Isn't that what you're doing when you discredit polygamy? How do you know they are not in love as well?"

"Emmett! What is wrong with you? Do you believe all this? Where do you stand on gay marriage?"

"Equality, baby."

"Then why do you do that? Why put me through all this?"

"It's fun." He laughed. "No, seriously, I like to examine the thought process. The way the mind works fascinates me. All those hidden ideas that come to the forefront of your mind when something you believe in is being pushed up against a wall. It's amazing how many different avenues people take in arguing their points. Some are desperate and go to extremes to get their point across, using volume or anger. But a lot of the time, people completely filter what they say out loud. You, for instance."

"Me?"

"Clearly you're a people pleaser, which is why you never directly took a stance. Either that, or you really can't stand losing." I just looked at him with wide eyes because he was exactly right on both counts. He caught me eying him and stopped laughing. "Okay, so what would you have said if someone raised the polygamy argument with you?" I asked.

"I already dropped that hint. You shot it down."

"What was it?"

"Fear. I would say that homosexuality and polygamy are two completely separate issues and should be handled accordingly. I would also call the person out on using an assumption or hypothetical situation as a scare tactic to win an argument. Nobody is going to make me question my convictions using fear. That is a manipulative low blow. I would ask said person to make a far more intelligent point that would be worthy of my consideration. False fear is never going to do it."

I put my head in my hands. Ah, why didn't I think of that? Mind-wrestling 101, straight from Edward: Question Emmett's intelligence for the win.

"Don't worry, B. You got a lot further on this subject than Alice did."

"What did she say?"

"She said, 'gay is gay, straight is straight, leave me alone'." He made his voice all squeaky, sounding nothing at all like Alice. But I could hear her say those words, anyway.

I laughed.

"Oh, well, clearly between Alice and me, she is the smarter one. And what did Rosalie say? " I assumed he'd given this conversation the whole circle.

"She said if she was a man she'd marry me, and then she kissed me. She won that round. She was right. I didn't give a shit what gender she was. I just wanted her tongue in my mouth."

We knocked on Aro's door at 1:59. We'd arrived early and waited on the street until the Jeep's green numbers read exactly 1:59. I held my stomach while waiting, overtaken by queasiness. I couldn't be sure if it was due to the pregnancy or the anticipation of meeting someone who held such a high card in Edward's education. How out of reach would he hold that card, and would he hand it over?

"Bella? Are you feeling okay?"

"Well, I might vomit, but other than that I'm perfect."

"Did you eat something disagreeable?"

"Emmett, these days all food is disagreeable. Just…you have to stop talking about it for a minute." I leaned my head on the dashboard and shut my eyes.

"Here," Emmett nudged my arm and offered me his bottled water. I took a long sip--I drank all that was left.

"Thanks." I rested my head back against the seat now, waiting and praying that my nausea would dissipate.

"B? You look like a ghost. What else can I do?"

"Just wait. I think it will go away."

He lowered the window and instantly I knew that was exactly what I needed. I tilted toward the open air and took in a deep breath of jasmine, pine and fresh-cut lawn.

"It's time. Are you any better?"

"I think so." This was not a predictable science. The waves of nausea could come and go at any given moment. They were not ruled by the moon or any other logical force. Most frustrating was that I was now in the early stages of my second trimester. This morning sickness was supposed to have subsided by now. I opened the door and stepped out anyway.

The house was massive, towering over the old ash trees out front. It made the Cullen's house look like a shack, and it was reminiscent of a Victorian-style hotel more so than a house. Aro met us at the door. I was surprised he didn't have a doorman, Lurch or Gieves or something. He shook our hands and invited us in. We followed him the distance to his study where we sat in plaid chairs facing his desk. Since his study resided in the middle of the house, there were no windows. Everything was dark--walls, furniture, carpet. Even the desk-light he turned on was dim. It was a stained-glass Tiffany-style lamp that gave off a quiet yellow-orange glow. I noticed he had an overhead light with a ceiling fan but he didn't turn that on. I told the man with the gray hair and the generous scholarship up his sleeve about Edward's potential, his daddy situation, and just how much he deserved this opportunity. And then I swallowed hard the saliva that filled my mouth.

Emmett gave him the letter from his dad and I gave him the letter from mine. Just like my dad, Aro played with his mustache corners while he read the letters under the dim light. He grabbed for his glasses. I thought maybe he should grab for the light switch. He looked very ominous reading the letters under the golden glow, the light illuminating only one side of his face. I could see the reflection of the light in his glasses. It reminded me of fire.

"Impressive," he said. "It's rare that others come for a scholarship on behalf of someone else. I've never experienced this. Why isn't Mr. Cullen here?" He took his glasses off again.

I had no idea what to say to that. I couldn't tell him Edward was reluctant to go to Stanford because of the baby or that he would give it up in an instant for me so I'd come here on his behalf. Luckily for me _and Edward_, Emmett spoke up.

"Edward Cullen is the type of person who is always doing for other people. He is generous at heart and we wanted to show him our appreciation." He was sitting up straight and confident, not slumped down in the chair like me. His arms rested on the armrests and his fingers did not fidget at the edges like mine. I sat up straight and stopped my fingers, listening to Emmett continue. "He planned on applying for the scholarship through Stanford, but that opportunity is a narrow one and we weren't sure how much further those walls would close due to his fatherhood situation. We have yet to tell him about your scholarship. We want to surprise him with this opportunity. His birthday is next month. If he is a candidate, it would be the perfect present." I just gaped at Emmett. He had never ceased to astonish me ever since I'd first met him. I would be hard-pressed to find anyone more unpredictable than him.

Aro reached for something in a desk drawer--a thick manila envelope. He handed it to me. "Here is his application and instructional forms. He will have to submit two essays, and he will have to prove his commitment more so than anyone else because of his situation. You've provided his transcripts but I will need his file, as well, listing his extra-curricular activities and an illustration of his dedication and commitment. We cannot offer this Scholarship to a liability. We will not waste anyone's time or money, nor will we bump anyone else out of the way for a 'maybe'. There are three others on the council, as we call it, who take part in the decision process. Of course, we will have to meet him for an interview, but I will tell you, if he interviews well and proves he is all that I have heard and read of him today, I believe he has a strong chance here."

I wanted to scream and hug him but I didn't. I just shook his hand, thanked him, and waited to celebrate with Emmett when we were out of earshot.

"Emmett! I can't believe you, you crazy mind-wrestling weirdo! Edward is going to owe you big time!"

"Don't jump around so much--the baby." He laughed. "And, no, he doesn't owe me. You better not tell him that. You know how he gets when he thinks he _owes_ someone. I did this as much for me as I did for him. This was mine and Edward's plan and now it is back in action." He lifted me up and gave me a big bear hug, as if he hadn't just warned me of my own behavior regarding baby. "B, you're the little sister I never knew I always wanted."

"Damn, Emmett, are you this gentle with Rosalie, too?" I asked once my feet were steady on Earth.

"Oh, you'd be surprised what Rosalie can handle."

"Please, I don't want to hear about it." I opened my car door. "Now, take me to the shops, I need a dress and a bra."

Emmett in a lingerie shop greatly rivals the image of a kid in a candy store. I laughed every time I looked at him with his wide-eyed grin. I saw him sneak touches of the silkies and the lacies hanging on chrome racks. We both made a purchase. At the counter I gave him an eyebrow-raise. He raised his right back, "Blonds in red," was all he said. In the dress shop, however, he was different. He just plopped himself down in a chair, bored already, the minute we walked in. Luckily for him, I wasn't much of a shopper and bought the first dress that fit me. It was a long, blue, silk, strapless, slip of a dress, really. It looked more like a nightgown than a dress--something I may have been able to find back at the lingerie shop. But it flowed nicely over the stomach and didn't make me _look_ pregnant. I paid more money than I'm sure it was worth, feeling guilty that I still hadn't replaced the phone I broke.

When Emmett dropped me off at the Cullens' I told him I would surprise Edward with our Stanford news next weekend on our non-prom date.

"What is it with you two? Why can't you just go to school functions like regular people?"

"Edward and I are not regular."

"So you're going to bail on us like you did Valentine's Day?"

"We didn't bail. That was _the_ day." I glanced at my stomach. Amazing how much is beheld in a simple glance. I opened my door, then turned to look at him. "How was V-day, anyway?" My smile showed him I already knew.

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Come on. You brought it up. Did you skate? Did you fall? Did you wobble? I bet you wobbled." I was laughing now. He got out of the car and carried me under his arm like a football.

"Thanks for all you do, B. Bye, now."

I was still laughing at embarrassed Emmett when he drove away.

* * *

I love a review! :)


	23. A Tale of Love and Romance

Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. I'm just an uninvited guest swimming in her pool.

**Warning:** This chapter lives up to it's name so if a little fluffy mush isn't your thing, you may want to bring a pickle with you!

**Please be sure to read the author's note at the bottom…**

This chapter is dedicated to Liz, my muse in the flesh and the reason I took a deep breath and published the first chapter, and EmpireClover, my additional, more recent muse. :)

I do appreciate every last one of my readers, even the quiet ones.

PS. This is not the end...yet.

* * *

The Path We Chose

CHAPTER 23: A Tale Of Love and Romance

On prom night, while other high school girls were awaiting their dates, corsages, pictures and dancing, I waited for my date to cross the hall. I answered his knock at my bedroom door. He was wearing a black suit and jacket, a white shirt and a black tie that hung a little loose, and I'm pretty sure my jaw dropped. I wanted to touch him, he looked so unbelievable; I wanted to make sure he was real. He raised his brows looking me up and down. And up again. "You're beautiful," he said. "Do you feel well?" He grabbed my silk-covered hips with both of his hands and pulled me closer.

I answered by standing on tiptoe to lick his neck.

"What was that?"

"You look so good I had to taste you."

He licked my neck, too. "You look tasty, as well, and as usual, you are. Also, as much as I love these," he kissed one shoulder and then the other, "you need a sweater." I yanked a white knitted thing out of my closet that would hardly keep me warm once the sun went down, and I tucked the manila envelope under my arm.

Hand-in-hand we strode out into the cool, Spring evening. I was surprised that it wasn't raining and surprised further when we walked right past his car. Through the woods we went, trees towering over our heads while specks, way over here and way over there, of golden buttercups and blue bell flowers and pink ones that Edward called monkey flowers sprouted from the forest floor. The further we walked, the necessity of my flats became clear. I took each step carefully so I wouldn't trip over my dress. Finally, I saw it in the clearing. A blanket, a bottle, a covered bowl, a bouquet of flowers. They were wild flowers of every color. He picked them up and put them in my hand. "These are for you. They remind me of you."

"Bright?"

"Yes."

"Colorful?"

"Yes."

I brought them to my nose. "Fragrant?"

He brought his nose to my neck and sniffed. "Perfectly fragrant."

"Wild?"

"All you."

"Thank you, they're beautiful."

"Now you've got it." He corked the tall bottle, both of us lowering ourselves onto the blanket.

"Champagne?" I was enjoying my single-word communication.

"Sparkling Cider." He poured two plastic cups and handed me mine.

"You always manage to make school dances so much better. There should be more school dances."

"Does that mean you'll dance with me?"

"There's no music."

He nodded, reached for the bowl, uncovered it and pulled out a purple grape. I laughed.

"Are you going to throw grapes at me while I'm wearing a prom dress?"

"No. I'm going to feed them to you." He brought one to my lips and I took it into my mouth along with his finger.

"Yummy."

"The grape or the finger?"

"Both. Give me some more."

"Nope, it's my turn." He tilted my head with his hand, placed a grape in the crook of my neck and ate it off me. "Do you want another one now?"

"No, thank you. I want it to be your turn again." I kept my head tilted.

His lips were at my ear. "Should I bother with the grape or just kiss you?"

"Just kiss me."

He kissed my ear and then up and down my neck, then turned my head the other way and kissed around that side. His kisses traveled down along my chest to my cleavage, because, yes I now had cleavage. My breathing grew heavier with each kiss. "Should I stop?"

"No." I pulled his lips back to my throat. He gave me a few more kisses but then did stop. "Walk with me." He stood up and held a hand out to me.

"What about me? I didn't get to kiss all over you. How can you turn it off just like that?"

"It's not easy, Bella, but I want to show you something before it gets dark." He lifted me up and linked my hand around his elbow like he was my Mr. Knightley and I was his Emma, and he led me across the field, back to the woods and over the footbridge toward the creek. We stopped when we reached the rocky edge. "Do you hear that?" he asked, facing me and slowly bringing both my arms up around his neck.

"The water trickling?"

One hand came around my back holding me snug while the other came to my head guiding me to rest on his shoulder. "It sounds like music," he said and started slowly moving, guiding me along with him. We were dancing.

"Natural music," I said.

He stopped moving and just held me close. "I love you so much," he said.

"I love you, too, Edward."

He pulled away to look into my eyes, then he lifted one arm leading me in a spin. I awkwardly spun around, trying not to lose my balance. When I faced him again, he was lowering himself to one knee in the dirt. I watched him go down, but almost couldn't see him through my dampening eyes. He reached into a pocket and when he pulled out his hand, a ring sparkled in white from the tip of his pinky. He held it out to me. "This is for you, my only love." he said. "I want you to be my wife, someday, when you're ready…when we're both ready. I know that won't be for a while, but I want it to be official. I want you to wear this ring. I want you to be mine."

"I'm yours," I said nodding.

His own eyes glistened tears when he said. "Marry me?"

I bent down along with Edward and wrapped myself around him, landing in his lap as he fell back. "Yes. Yes, I will. I will."

We welcomed our engagement in kisses and repetitive I love yous. I don't know how many of either took place. I lost count. He was the one who paused, taking my left hand from around his neck and placing the ring on my finger. It was slightly big. "We'll get it sized," he said, closing my fingers over my hand, and kissing my fingernails.

"I've never worn jewelry," I said and spun his mother's bracelet around on my wrist, "and you have me wearing two pieces."

He laughed and held me against him in the forest dirt, playing with my hand and sharing with me the story of the ring just as he had once heard it:

"It was my great-grandmother's ring. My great-grandfather told her he wanted to give her the world but since the world wasn't for sale or he couldn't afford it, even if it was, he had this ring made just for her." Edward lifted my hand and pointed to the round diamond in the middle. "This one represents the earth. The two smaller ones on each side are the sun and the moon. The tiny ones that go all the way around," he turned my hand over to show me that tiny diamonds did indeed circle the ring, "represent all the stars in the sky.

"Upon my great-grandmother's death, she left this ring to her daughter who in turn passed it on, along with her memories, to her own daughter, my mother. My great-grandmother was Elizabeth Masen and had long brown hair and green eyes. Her family struggled bad during the Great Depression. They were on the verge of losing their home--our home.

"She brought my grandmother, seven years old at the time, to the pawn shop with her. She didn't have a choice; there was nobody to babysit her. She told her daughter to close her eyes and cover her ears, and she obeyed. But you know, when you cover your ears and you listen, you can still hear--and seven-year-olds are pros at peeking through their squinting eyes. She heard my great-grandmother cry as she handed over the ring, shiny and bright, replacing it with dirty green paper. Elizabeth took her daughter by the hand and told her she could uncover herself now. When she did, she saw no trace of sadness left in her mother's face.

"Elizabeth didn't tell her husband what she'd done. She gave him the money, just mentioning she sold some things from up in the attic. Her ring-less hand was hidden well behind her back or in her apron pocket. Great-grandfather, he beamed and lifted her in a twirl because now they could keep their house.

"What Elizabeth couldn't have guessed was that her daughter would tattle on her. So her husband, Great-grandfather Masen, bought the ring back. He replaced it on the finger where it belonged and they lived for the next five years without a car."

"Edward."

"Bella, this is your ring now."

"I can't. It's too much."

He shook his head. "My great-grandfather gave this to his wife twice because she was his world. You are my world, now, so it is yours. Whether or not you wear it, it's yours."

"I'll wear it," I said, and I brought my left hand to his heart. "I'll take the best care of it I can."

"I know you will."

We may have glided back to our clearing and our blanket. I couldn't feel the ground beneath my feet. We sat down for some more fake champagne before I removed his jacket for him and unbuttoned his shirt. He let me take off his shirt and then his shoes and pants without a word. I kissed along his shoulders, his chest, and down his torso without a word. I tasted him and it was sweet and it was salty and it was Edward on my lips and in my mouth and my taste buds wanted more. Then he sat naked on the blanket watching me shimmy my body out of my sweater and my dress without a word. And when I was as naked as him I joined him on the blanket, nudged against him with my body, and he caught me with his arms, following my lead to lie down without a word. I was on top of him and kissing him and satisfying my tongue with his taste. I gave to him what I thought he needed with my hands and my mouth--my tongue and my teeth, and my skin. His breathing grew deep and so did mine and our moans blended with the forest wind, and I just gave to my fiancé while the sun set and twilight neared. And when I put him inside me, he covered me with his jacket like a blanket even though no one else was around. Maybe it was the birds in the trees he wanted to hide my nakedness from, or maybe he simply wanted to keep me warm. I didn't care.

* * *

My dress was on the ground. I was wearing Edward's shirt while he, of course, sat shirtless, wearing just his pants, holding me on his lap, both his arms around my middle, his chin on my shoulder.

I reached back and felt his face. "Since I'm wearing your shirt, you should wear my dress."

His answer came interspersed with laughter. "Bella, it is impossible to predict what might come out of your mouth next. But I think your dress is a little small for me."

I turned to look at him. "If it fit you would you wear it?"

"I would if you really wanted me to, only for you. But you look infinitely better in my shirt than I would look in a dress."

"My maternity dresses might fit you."

"Damn! I forgot about those. Don't ask me to wear those."

"I'm just kidding. I wouldn't make you wear a dress, although it would be a funny sight. You in a maternity dress covered in an ugly yellow floral print. I might have to get you in one just for the laugh."

"If you dress me in that thing you would probably never get that image out of your head."

"Then I would have a constant smile on my face."

"Well, in that case, I would do it. I would wear your maternity dress just to keep you smil--"

I kissed him before he could even finish his sentence. "And I would never make you wear one because you just said that."

"I have something for you," I said, and tried to get up but he held me fast and close.

"I already had to let go of you when you put my shirt on. I don't want to do it again."

"Don't let go," I said, "just loosen up. What I have for you is right here." I reached forward for the manila envelope but he wouldn't let go even to take it from me. So I pulled the papers out for him and held them up. The one on top had a bold, hard-to-miss, "Stanford" printed across the top.

"What is that?" He let go with just one hand and his other arm seemed to tighten around me as he took hold of the top paper. "Why do you have this?" I turned around, twisting from his grasp so he could let it all seep in. I kept one hand on his bicep because it was naked and right there. I kissed it, too.

"Emmett's dad helped us. He found this alumni group who want to help the less-to-do but still deserving students attend Stanford. We met with the founder of the scholarship, Aro. He seems to think you have quite a chance of being granted their full scholarship. $50,000 for the year. You would have to reapply every year, though, probably submitting your student status. And once you graduate you will be required to contribute to future scholarship funds."

"Bella…" His hand was in his hair raking through the top, an action I'd only seen him do on very few occasions, out of nervousness or anger. I looked closely at him trying to read his expression. I had anticipated the fact that he might be angry at me for going behind his back.

"I'm sorry. I didn't think you would let me do it if I told you. You've been so adamant about giving up on Stanford like it is something I want or need you to do. "

"Y-you…You're sorry?! You.." He looked at me, shaking his head over and over, but as soon as I saw the brightness of his green eyes, I knew that anger was not the emotion he was projecting. He dropped the papers and grabbed for my hands, squeezing my fingers. "Th-This is--nobody has ever done anything like this for me before." He rarely had trouble with words and I had just heard him stutter and stumble at least twice. He was overwhelmed.

"I love you. I would do anything for you. Emmett loves you, too."

He straightened my arm and brought his hand to my shoulder, watching as it drifted all the way down my arm to my wrist. And then he did it again and then a third time. "This is what love feels like. Bella, you are love. You are fucking love."

He pulled me roughly onto his lap as if I would resist, as if I wouldn't have willingly just crawled right into him and happily stayed there, becoming one with him.

"You're happy."

"Yes. Yes, I am."

"I knew it! I knew you wanted Stanford. You acted like it didn't matter, but I knew it."

He took my face into both of his hands and looked into my eyes. "Bella, I do want Stanford. If I'm being honest, I want Stanford, bad. But not near as much as I want you,. There is nothing I want more than to be with you and baby. I won't go without you."

"I'll go with you. It has to be possible right? I mean…right?" I looked down at my new ring. It had twisted around backward so I adjusted it. I had always just assumed I would go with him, but the reality of it just hit me. How could we afford it? I had thought only about being with Edward, not about us being on our own with baby. Maybe that was a fairytale. Maybe _that_ wasn't happening. My eyes were filling fast, like the creek, but I held back--wouldn't let them leak.

His hands came back to my face until I looked up at him, his eyes intense on mine and he didn't move--he just stared and blinked a few times. "Bella," he finally said. "$50,000 is enough for my tuition, but nothing else. Not living expenses. And California. Palo Alto is expensive--probably three times what it costs to live here."

My strength, my will, was no longer enough to stop my tears. They left my eyes in a flow over my cheeks and Edward caught them and pushed them aside with his thumbs. "You're going, Edward. If you get this opportunity, you're going. If I can't go, I'll be here…waiting. I will wait for you. But you are going."

"Bella, don't..." He wiped my tears again, kissed just under each eye and then my lips.

"Edward, you have to go."

"We can't be apart." Just hearing him say the word _apart_ made me cry harder. His arms encircled me and I rested my head on his shoulder letting my tears wet his bare skin. The skin I needed. Apart? I shook my head.

"You're not passing this up. You're not. I love you too much to watch you let this go. I mean it."

"I know you do. But I can't go without you. I physically can't. I'm telling you. I would be immobile--I would flunk out and waste the entire opportunity."

"Okay," I sat up and moved from his lap. I wiped away the rest of my tears and sniffled. "Okay, we can figure this out. Let's think about this for a minute. So, it's expensive. I can get a job. If the cost of living is higher, so would the rate of pay be right? We can both get jobs and I have my college fund, so--"

"No! No way, Bella. We are not touching your college fund to cover rent. That is _not_ happening. And if you get a job, who will watch our baby? We would have to pay someone. I'll get two jobs if I have to."

"How is that possible? Stanford is not Forks High. You won't be able to get by without study time and then on top of that baby and me, too?"

"Hold on, let me think." He took my hand and brought it to his lips and every so often gave it a kiss like that helped him think. "I'll get one job and we'll just... we'll have a roommate or rent a room or something. We'll work it out, even if we have to rent a room from Emmett. Hell, his dad will be paying his expenses anyway, so it would just be extra money in Emmett's pocket if we rented a room."

"Live with Emmett?"

"We'd be together, Bella. We can take him on together." He laughed.

"That's a good idea, Edward. He wants you there so badly that he would do it. He would. You didn't see him the day we had that meeting. He was as excited as I was."

He kissed me, both of us allowing the desperation of having just considered the possibility of living apart to exit our bodies through our lips and tongue.

"Bella," he said, kissing me again. "Bella," he kissed me again. "How did you guys pull this off? " He kissed me again. "How did you get them to offer me an opportunity without my being there?"

"Emmett's dad set up the meeting and he and my dad both wrote a letter of recommendation for you. Aro already has those."

"Your dad?"

"Well, his secretary wrote it. It's very eloquent. But my dad did read it and signed it."

"He won't mind if you move to California?"

"He must have known that was a possibility when he agreed to help. Besides, he knows as well as I do how many more doors will open for you with a college education."

"What about you? What about college?"

"Edward, I've already decided and before you say anything, you are not asking this of me. This was my decision. I'm going to wait until you're finished. I'll go to college after you. I will go, but after you. It makes more sense anyway, since I'll have our baby to take care of. It will be easier for me when baby is a little bit older and maybe you will have a real job and we can afford daycare. But if you get this scholarship, you are going to Stanford."

"Come back here," he said and this time I put myself in his lap. "How is this possible? I do not deserve you. You're like," he brushed my hair away from my face and down to my waist, "from another world."

"We deserve each other," I said kissing his cheek. "So, are you going to tell Emmett that he'll have three imposing roommates, one possibly very loud one, or am I?"

"Nothing's set in stone yet. We have to wait and see if they even offer this scholarship to me."

"You can still apply for Stanford's regular scholarship and student loans as back up."

I remained in Edward's lap, my head on his shoulder while he stroked and stroked my hair down my back. It was so relaxing I almost fell asleep. But then I shivered. Edward pulled his jacket around me but even then, I couldn't pretend I wasn't cold, and with Edward shirtless it was inevitable that we would have to leave our clearing.

"We should go back," he said, "but I want you in my bed tonight. I want to sleep with you all night and wake up with you."

"How can we?"

"I'll talk to my dad. I'll tell him we're engaged." We smiled at each other and kissed because how couldn't we? He'd just said the word "engaged". "And when I tell him about the Stanford possibility, I'm positive he'll say yes to anything."

We put our own clothes back on and gathered up our things. Edward took the blanket, the envelope, the bottle and my hip. I took the bowl of grapes and the wildflowers that reminded him of me.

* * *

**A/N**

(My great-grandmother had to sell her wedding ring during the great depression and that story has always rested softly in my heart. Sadly, she didn't get hers back.)

**Oh no!** We're nearing the end. If nothing changes in the next few days, there are only two chapters left. I had also planned an epilogue, BUT, the epilogue kept expanding because these two are insisting they have more story to tell. So, I've begun working on a sequel. Are you even interested in reading a sequel? Here's another question. If you are, in fact interested in a sequel, I **_have_** to (for my own sanity) have the majority of my story completed before I start publishing it. So it may take a couple of weeks before you can begin reading it. Are you willing to wait? Click the review button to review and answer my questions. Thank you!


	24. Love Story, Suspended

The Path We Chose

Chapter 24: Love Story, Suspended

We were famished by the time we made it through the back sliding door into the house. Nearly 9:00, and all we'd had to eat were a few grapes. Edward removed his jacket from my shoulders and I shivered.

"Do you want it back?" He asked, kissing my shoulder.

"Warm me with your lips."

He held my hips from behind, continuing his kisses along my back as he guided me around the counter. That was when we heard the voices in the living room. Dropping our belongings on the table, we followed the noises like curious cats to find our friends, all clad in their formal attire.

"Finally," Alice said, hand on a hip, her dark pink satin gown draping over her curves. She was stunning and not a little reminiscent of Holly Golightly. "We've only been waiting here for an hour."

"What are you doing here?" Edward asked, pulling me close to him, kissing the side of my head with a sigh, clearly disappointed that we were not alone.

"Nice greeting," Alice said. "We're here for Bella. What are you thinking, making her miss out on prom?"

"I asked her, she said-"

Alice interrupted. "If you're not going to take your girlfriend to-"

Edward interrupted. "She didn't want to go."

"Ahem. If you're not going to take her to prom, then we are going to celebrate prom night here. This is a girl thing, Edward. I don't expect you to understand. A girl needs her friends on prom night. That's a fact you're going to have to live with. Just like a big, white wedding."

"What?" Edward looked at me. I shook my head.

"Speaking of weddings, Bella…" Alice came toward me and lifted my left hand to ogle my ring and then hug me. "Congratulations!"

I looked at Edward, then back at Alice. "How did you know?"

"Jasper told me."

My eyes found Jasper in his black tux and dark pink bow tie.

"Emmett told me."

I eyed Emmett. He was wearing a jacket but no tie at all and his top shirt buttons were undone, his black vest open.

"Rosalie told him," Edward said, shaking his head.

Rosalie, in body-hugging, ruby silk, hit Emmett's arm. "I told big mouth not to say anything."

"I told _you_ not to say anything," Edward said.

"Well, Edward, need I remind you that you also told me not to say anything that day I caught you and Bella in Dr. Denali's office, and we all know how well that turned out."

"Why did you tell Rosalie?" I asked Edward.

He took my hand. "Because I needed help setting up without you finding out and I also needed to know if it was even a good idea at all. I didn't want to blindside you, or upset you, or pressure you." His thumb brushed over my knuckles. "You don't know how nervous I was."

"You didn't seem nervous at all. Why were you nervous?"

"Because, I didn't know how you would react, but as soon as I saw the tears in your eyes, it was like I could breathe again."

"I told you I would never say no to you."

"Yeah, but I wanted you to accept because you meant it, not because you felt bad for me."

"I did mean it." I stood on tiptoe to kiss his lips.

"I know."

"Pardon me," Emmett said, "I don't mean to interrupt this beautiful, heartfelt moment, but there _are _other people in the room. I know when you two are together you have trouble seeing anyone else, but we are actually standing here. We're not apparitions."

"No, not apparitions," Edward said, "just uninvited guests." It was one of those times when Edward said the words, all the while making it obvious he didn't mean them. He walked toward Emmett and hugged him, thanking him for everything he'd done for him.

"You don't have to thank me, Edward. If this one doesn't work out, we'll do it again. Won't we, B?"

"As many times as it takes," I said.

"Double congratulations," Jasper said, shaking Edward's hand. "Emmett told me about Stanford."

And then we all hugged and some of us kissed before Alice said it was time to start prom.

"Alice," I said. "I will celebrate with you but I am not dancing."

"Why not?" Edward said. "You danced with me earlier."

"Yeah, but that doesn't count. We were dancing to creek music."

"What?" Everyone said, except for Edward who was kissing me.

"There are other ways of celebrating," Emmett said, lifting two over-sized bottles of champagne off the end table. "Sorry, B, you don't get any of this."

"Well, _B _needs to eat before any celebrating happens," Edward said. "Where are my parents?"

"Upstairs," Jasper said. "Alice bounced around telling them about her prom plans until they were dizzy and said they would leave us in privacy."

"Okay. Emmett, you open the Champagne. Bella, you come with me to the kitchen. Alice and Rosalie, you stand around looking pretty, and J, you can do whatever the hell you want."

In the kitchen, Edward hunted through the refrigerator for something to eat while I filled a vase with water for my flowers. It was hard to believe that mere moments ago I'd been sitting under the twilight sky on top of Edward in nothing but his shir - the shirt he now wore untucked as he pulled a leftover pizza box from the fridge. He heated up the last four slices, took the pepperoni off his slice, and I ate the other three. I told him that at this rate, he was going to get skinny while I got fat. He brought a hand to my stomach and said that it better get fat and then he kissed it before telling me he was going upstairs to talk to his dad. "No matter what happens with these intruders, you are sleeping in my bed tonight."

"Look," I said and held my left hand out to him, showing him the ring as if he wasn't the one who had put it there.

"I know." He smiled wide, kissing my finger and the ring at the same time.

I joined the rest of the_ intruders_ in the living room. They were already well into the champagne.

"Rosalie," I said. "Are you wearing your matching lingerie?"

Emmett and Jasper laughed.

"Bella! You are not allowed to take Emmett to a lingerie shop again. You don't need to know what I'm wearing under my clothes."

"Hey, your boyfriend was willing to tell me about more than just your underwear."

"Emmett!" Rosalie said as Emmett simultaneously said, "B!" Alice laughed the hardest until Rosalie turned on her.

"Okay, Alice. What are you wearing under your dress? Satin? Silk? Lace? I bet it's black and not all pink and pure like your dress."

Jasper held up his hands. "No way. If Alice answers this question, I'm leaving the room."

"Why?" Rosalie asked.

"Because it's bad enough imagining it. I can't know for certain what she's got on under there."

"Why not?" Emmett asked.

I grabbed the champagne bottle. "All right. I think you all need a little more champagne. If I can't drink it, I'm at least going to watch the bunch of you make fools of yourselves."

When I got to Emmett, he held his glass toward me, but I pulled the bottle back and looked into his eyes. "Let's get something straight first, big guy. In case you are unaware, Edward and I got engaged tonight. You are not to step foot in his room for even a second. If you go upstairs, I don't even want you breathing the air that seeps from his room into the hallway."

"All right, all right, I got it. Pour the champagne."

"You promise?"

"Yes, no breathing air. I promise."

"Okay." I poured his champagne for him.

Edward's arms slipped around me from behind and his whisper tickled my neck, "My bed. All night." I closed my eyes and let him kiss up and down my neck and along my shoulder not even caring who may be watching.

Emmett lifted his glass for a toast. But instead of toasting, he said: "You know. This isn't even true champagne. It's sparkling wine. The only true champagne comes from grapes grown in the Champagne region of France and most Americans have never tasted it. And these lesser champagnes don't even come close to compare in taste to the authentic French Champagne."

"That's interesting," Rosalie said, "and what do you want us to do with this information? Pour out the _sparkling wine _that is now in our hands."

"Oh no, babe. You are drinking that. I just want you to be aware of what you're really drinking and know that there is better stuff out there."

"I am well aware that there are always better options. But I am settling for what is right here in front of me."

"Settling?"

"That's right. Why should I look elsewhere when I am perfectly okay with what I have right here in my glass. I mean if the _real_ champagne was here, sure I'd take a sip - maybe I would even prefer it. But it's not here, so…"

"Are we still talking about champagne?" Emmett asked.

"Well, yeah, aren't you?"

Emmett stared at her for a minute before Jasper said, "Brain-slammed. All right, Rose!"

Emmett shook his head at Rosalie's innocent smile. "Oh man, it is _on_!"

If that was meant to threaten Rosalie, she wasn't fazed in the least. "Edward," she said, grabbing his arm. "I know your body aches when you're not near Bella, but can I talk to you alone for a minute?"

He leaned down to kiss me first but it wasn't as enjoyable when you heard Rosalie in the background, "All right, kiss her goodbye because it will be the very last time you see her for the next five minutes."

Edward continued to kiss me through his laughs and I liked when he did that so I kissed him back. Rosalie pulled on his arm again.

"Wow Rosalie," I said. "Champagne makes you cocky."

"Bella, it doesn't _make_ me cocky. It only enhances it."

"Well, my boyfriend better come back standing up straight and in one piece or I'm cutting you off for the night."

"He's your fiancé, not your boyfriend. Anyway, what's your excuse for being so cocky? You're in your second trimester so you can't blame that."

"I guess you bring it out in me."

"Finally!" She said. "The love of your life will be right back, sweet Bella, darling." She took him to the far corner of the room and I couldn't help but glance over at them every so often. Even when Alice came over to talk to me about school, I was distracted by the two of them in their nook by the TV.

Alice said something about Mike and Jessica having a huge argument in the cafeteria, but all I saw was Edward leaning in closer to Rosalie and I thought I saw her wipe a tear. Then Alice said something about how lucky I was it didn't rain tonight because my silk dress would have been ruined, but all I saw was Edward and Rosalie hugging. They hugged for a long time.

"Bella?"

"Wh-what?" I looked at her.

"Are you listening to me?"

"Uh-huh. But it's not like I'm ever going to wear this dress again, anyway."

"Bella. I said I'm thinking of having sex with Jasper."

My eyes left Rosalie and Edward alone, and shot toward Alice. "What! Alice, no, not until you're married."

"But it's prom night. It's supposed to happen on prom night."

"Says who? Cheesy movies?"

I caught her looking past me at Jasper. She was looking him up and down and biting her lip. "Alice!" I took her glass from her. "No more for you. You're not thinking clearly. Wait here."

I rushed, not a bit ladylike, over to Jasper and yanked him away from Emmett without so much as an "excuse me," and dragged him out the front door. I faced him before he had a chance to ask me what was going on.

"Jasper, you have got to be careful tonight. Alice is…Alice is…" Suddenly I didn't have the words to tell him, and wondered how it was really any of my business, other than my own desire to protect the virtue of my best friend.

"I know, Bella. I can feel it and it's killing me. If she doesn't stop, I might have to leave. Not that I want to go, believe me. Do you think she's really wearing black lingerie under her dress?"

"Oh God, you too? How do you make someone un-aroused?"

"Saying the word aroused doesn't help. I can tell you that."

I covered my eyes with my hand. "Can you handle it, Jasper?"

"If I can't. I told you; I'll have to leave."

"How can you leave her on prom night? You just heard her tell Edward how important it is."

"What's worse? Ruining her prom night by leaving or by giving into her - taking something from her when she's drunk?"

I looked past Jasper for a minute at the moon behind him. It was covered by clouds and its glow was a haunting blue accentuating the bright blue of Jasper's conflicted eyes. My business or not, I had to help. "Chocolate? Maybe that will distract her."

"Maybe just food, in general. Sober her up."

I left Jasper on the porch and headed back to Alice, dragging her away from Emmett and into the kitchen, but not before noticing that Rosalie and Edward were still in their corner. "Hey, B," Emmett said. "I really wish you would stop that. I was winning both times."

"You always win, Emmett," I called back, hopefully satiating his ego for the time being.

"What are we doing?" Alice asked as I started opening cupboards.

"Looking for chocolate." I knew we were out of cookies since I had eaten the last Oreo earlier today.

"Why? Are you having a craving?"

"Yes." I found some brownie mix, threw an apron at Alice and together we made chocolate brownies in our formal gowns on prom night.

Rosalie came in laughing at us and taking pictures, and I posed for her when she asked me to, relieved she was through with my fiancé.

"You look so domestic in that apron," Edward said. "I like to imagine you wearing nothing but the apron while baking." He untied my apron string like that would reveal my skin instead of my dress.

"What is in that champagne tonight? Seriously." Not that I didn't want Edward as much as he wanted me, but at that moment, my energy had to be focused on reversing Alice's drunken lust.

The smell of the brownies baking brought everyone into the kitchen. Emmett and Jasper had their fingers in them the minute I took the hot chocolate-filled pan out of the oven. They were both burning their fingers and kept pulling back, but that didn't stop them from grabbing at them again.

"You have to let them cool," I said.

"The hell you do," Emmett said clawing a chunk out and tossing it into his mouth.

"Save some for Alice," I yelled, " because she - she helped make them."

"Thank you, Bella," she said. "With these two around there won't be any left." But then Jasper shoved some into her mouth so we didn't have to worry anymore. The brownies were nearly gone within fifteen minutes. Even Rosalie had chocolate on her lips and teeth. I handed her a napkin and let her know there was chocolate in her teeth. She pushed me away, laughing as if I was joking but then she went to the bathroom to check her teeth anyway.

Edward came over and kissed me. "I love you and I don't have the strength to stay away any longer." His tongue found mine as mine found his. "I know you're a _girl_ and everything and you need your friends on prom night, but…I need you on our engagement night. Let's go to bed?"

I nodded because I couldn't find my voice. Edward threw an arm around me. "Good night, everyone."

I went to my room first to change and I checked my closet mirror, standing only in my underwear to see if my little tummy bump had grown at all since that morning. It looked the same so I pushed my stomach out to accentuate it. That was better.

After brushing my teeth, I went to Edward's bed where I waited for him in just my nightshirt. As I waited, I looked out the window but it was too dark to see anything - only blackness or my happy reflection staring back. I wondered how different things might have been if we had decided to end my pregnancy. That thought, of course brought my hands directly to my stomach. Would we still be together? Would we be happy? I couldn't be sure. I did know that now, we were exactly where we needed to be. The three of us, Edward, Baby and I would travel our path together. I knew that there would be bends and cross-roads up ahead, but as long as we followed each other we would find our way to where our future waited.

"Hey," Edward said, exiting his bathroom. "That's the sight I've been waiting for all fucking night." His hand was on my thigh rubbing down my leg. I turned toward him to see his gorgeous self in way too much clothes.

"Take off your shirt and stop saying 'fuck' so much in front of the baby."

He covered his mouth. "I can't help it when I'm around you. Ordinary words aren't enough to express myself."

"All right, say whatever you want, just remove that obtrusive thing right now." He started unbuttoning but it wasn't fast enough so I sat up and helped him, and then his chest was finally there and I could touch it and kiss it.

"Finally," I said, running my tongue down the middle of his rib cage.

Thoughts and questions started flooding my mind for no apparent reason, other than the fact that my brain was _that_ unpredictable. "Why did you choose to tell Rosalie about your proposal plans? Why did you ask _her_ for help?"

"What do you mean? I told you why." He sat down on the edge of the bed.

"No. I mean, why Rosalie? Why not Jasper or Emmett?"

He looked at me for a minute and then frowned. "I don't know. I didn't even think about it. It was automatic."

"She's your best friend. Emmett and Jasper, they are, too, but Rosalie, she really is, isn't she? She was the only one who went uber-protecto on you when we became friends. They all knew about your past, but she - she didn't trust me easily. That doesn't mean the others don't love you, too. But Rosalie, if she could do anything about it, was not going to let you get hurt again."

"You're right."

"And you haven't been as close to her since I've been in your life?"

"No. But we're getting back there again. She apologized tonight for the way she treated you. She said that by pushing you away in the beginning, she hurt me more than you ever would. I told her she should apologize to you, not me."

"I think she did apologize when she brought me the maternity clothes. She didn't literally say sorry, but the gesture was enough."

"You are a generous person." He kissed me, but I was not finished with my questions.

"She was crying?"

He nodded. "She said that she was proud of me and that she knows everything will work out okay. You know, Stanford, you, the baby, us. And," he shrugged, "she said, she's missed me. She said that when I'd gone to talk to her about proposing, it was the first time in a long time she's felt the possibility of us being as close as we once were. She's been really afraid that by being rude to you she ruined her relationship with me for good. We had more than a few arguments over you. And you know that day we told everyone about the baby and things got so screwed up you left?"

I nodded.

"I was wrecked after you left and I planned on following you, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. So I went to Emmett's to blame everything on him, but that didn't go as planned, either. Rosalie was there and tried to comfort me and I asked her why she cared. Tonight she said that my questioning her feelings toward me was a huge wake up call. She knew then that she had really damaged what we had, and was afraid it might be irreversible."

"Oh. I'm glad you two are rebuilding your friendship, now. But what else? You were talking for a long time."

"We were just remembering the past. You're never going to believe this, but when Rosalie was little, she loved mud and she never wore dresses. She wore ratty clothing with holes in them most of the time because she was always getting dirty and her mom wouldn't allow her to wear any nice clothes. Everyone else sees beautiful, well-dressed, hair brushed Rosalie, but when I look at her, I remember knots in her hair and mud on her face." He started laughing. We both did. I couldn't imagine Rosalie looking like that. I asked if he had any pictures, but he told me that when she entered seventh grade and decided she was a girl she ripped all those pictures up.

"Now I have a question for you," he said, touching my nose.

"Ask me."

"Are you going to want a big, white wedding?"

I stared at him for a minute.

"Because if you do, it's fine. You know that, right?"

I stuck my hand out. "Hi, I'm Bella Swan. It's nice to meet you."

He laughed and took my hand and kissed it and then played with my fingers as he spoke. "It's very nice to meet you. Let's just skip all the getting to know each other bullshit. We're going to get fake married, fall in love, make love, make a baby, get engaged, get real married and live happily ever after like some Cinderella story you probably read when you were younger because you're a girl."

"Who's Cinderella?"

"You are."

"So, Cinderella had a baby before she married her prince?"

"Yes, it's just that no one likes to mention that part because it's frowned upon. In the story the pregnancy is represented by slave work and cinders."

"But the prince, he must be sought after by all the eligible women of the kingdom. How does he know the baby is his and that Cinderella is the one for him?"

He pulled one of my legs toward him and drew a line from my calf down to my toe, then aligned the bottom of my foot with the palm of his hand. "Because the shoe is the perfect fit." He kissed my big toe.

"He knows because of a shoe?"

"The shoe is special. It's made of glass and easily shattered, just like the heart. Through everything, all the changes and the running and the trials, the shoe never shatters because it belongs to both of them and they treat it like the world might end if it even gets a scratch."

"So are you saying that since our story ends with a happily ever after we should skip all the stuff in between?"

"No. I spoke to quickly. We shouldn't skip a thing. We should savor every last minute we have together."

"And what happens to the shoe?"

"Well… Cinderella has the other shoe, you see. And once the shoes are reunited, they place them on a pillow and lock them away in a strong glass case where their beauty can be observed but they can never be touched or separated again."

"I like that story."

"Of course you do. You're a girl."

I poked him in the waist. "You're not a girl. Do you like the story?"

He grabbed my poking finger and pulled me against him. "It's the best story I've ever heard."

Then we were kissing and there were no more questions and no more talking. All communication was through lips and body parts and breathing and quiet moans. Our bodies spoke to each other of love and life and future and hope as we consummated our engagement for the second time that night.

* * *

**A/N:**

Reviews are appreciated! :)

Oh! And if you haven't read Edward's outtake yet, that is when he visits Emmett's house. Click on my profile link to find the outtakes.


	25. A Room of Our Own

The final chapter, dedicated to all my readers.

* * *

The Path We Chose

Chapter 25: A Room of Our Own

We slept together all night long. We could touch and tug at each other whenever we wanted, and we did. In the morning, I held on tight. It was early and the sun was brightening the room too much through Edward's uncovered windows. If Edward hadn't been next to me, his chest under my head, I would have pulled a pillow over my face in search of darkness. Since Edward _was_ here, I turned and kissed his chest. But one kiss was not enough. I kept kissing and I hadn't meant to wake him but I did. He moaned, his arms engulfing me and pulling me on top of him.

"You're here," he said as if he needed to say it for it to be true. "Bella, please wake me up like this every day."

I smiled and kissed his chest again. "Your room is so bright in the morning."

He covered us with his sheet and comforter all the way over our heads. "Not anymore." Content with the shut-out sun, I returned my head to his chest.

"No," he said, "lips."

I kissed his chest again, moving my lips up along his throat to his chin and lingering at the edge of his mouth until he turned his head and took my lips with his. We kissed and touched, and then because we were both there and we could, we made love in the darkness under the covers, just him and me; the world was gone.

It was still early on Saturday morning when we emerged, showered and dressed, from Edward's room… together. We moved slowly and cautiously, holding hands, not knowing where anybody was or what we had left in our irresponsible wake for Carlisle and Esme to find. None of our friends were around, nor were any empty bottles, dirty glasses or any other disorder whatsoever. Another kind of mess, however, was waiting for us in the kitchen. Carlisle and Esme sat stiffly at the table staring at Edward and me as we entered - as if they'd been waiting for us for a long time and we had finally arrived, so now they could move again.

"Edward," Carlisle said, "Bella, have a seat."

We exchanged glances like guilty seven-year-olds about to get a lashing.

"We hate for anything to overshadow your engagement," Esme said, "but this must be addressed."

We took seats, continuing to hold hands under the table.

"Rose and Emmett have gone home and your mother and I have been debating whether or not we should call their parents." Carlisle's voice was much firmer than Esme's. I had never heard him speak like this. It made me uncomfortable and I shifted in my seat unable to be as still as he was.

"Why would you call their parents?" Edward asked.

"Because they spent the night together in Bella's room."

"That's their choice," Edward said. "How is that any of our business?"

"Edward, they are minors and so are you two. It is not up to you to make that kind of decision for your friends, or to invite them to sleep together in our house. Haven't you learned anything from your situation, here?"

"But Emmett and Rosalie are not Bella and me."

"I'm aware of that, Edward; however, I will not allow the repetition of history again in this house. We are the parents, responsible for what goes on under our roof, and we will, and should be, held accountable for any consequences that transpire. You need to be respectful of that."

"Okay," Edward said. "I apologize. It won't happen again. Anything else?"

"Yes," Esme said. "The other matter is you and Bella."

I felt Edward's hold on my hand tighten. He understood something in his mother's tone that I could not.

"We may have been hasty in our decision to allow the two of you to share a room," she continued. Edward's hand let go of mine and appeared on top of the table. I wanted to grab hold of it again. I looked at him hoping to catch his eye, but he was focused on his parents.

"We _were_ hasty in that respect, Esme. No sugar coating it. Bella," Carlisle turned to me, "engaged or not, you're not married and like I said you are both still minors. You will need your father's permission to continue to share a room with Edward."

"I don't get this," Edward said. "She's having my baby! We're engaged! What can you possibly be trying to protect us from?"

"Do _not_ take that tone with your mother and me. This has nothing to do with protection. It has to do with respect. Bella is not out daughter. We are obligated to honor Charlie's wishes as her father."

"They're right, Edward," I said and I hled his hand on top of the table because I had the excuse to do so now. His fingers linked mine. "We'll talk to my dad about it." I said it even though I had no intention of doing it. I wanted to keep the argument between Edward and his family from escalating. I could feel Edward's temper growing - the heat radiated off of him through his hand and into me. I caught his eyes. "We'll talk to my dad, tell him about our engagement."

"All right," Edward said. "Anything else?" The bitter tone had not left his voice as he addressed his parents again.

"Yes." Carlisle's face was still stern . "We're proud of you, son, for not giving up on Stanford." He gave Edward a smile. Esme's smile was warm, her green eyes twinkling with pride in her son.

That was the first time I actually felt the sacrifice I was making in not going to college. All that work I had done in school, the ambition I had, I'd let it all go without a real thought, because I had to. I looked down at my lonely hand in my lap and then at my stomach, a little rounder but still fitting snugly in my jeans. Nobody, least of all my mother, would be looking at me the way Esme and Carlisle were looking at their son now - full of pride in his accomplishments. And he was something to be proud of. What was I but a seventeen-year-old mother who no longer went to school.

"It was Bella," Edward said. "Bella was the one who didn't give up. Who wouldn't let me give up."

"And Emmett," I said, still looking down at my lap.

"What's wrong?" Edward asked, but I couldn't look at him because I could feel tears threatening my eyes and if I looked at him they might show themselves.

"Nothing."

"Something's wrong, Bella. What is it?"

"Nothing. Nothing."

Edward asked his parents if we could be excused, who both agreed. Edward pulled me by my hand to the front door, and outside he held my face, forcing me to look at him.

"Bella. Bella, tell me what's bothering you."

And there they were, the tears I knew would come as soon as I saw the concern in his eyes. But I couldn't tell him this. No way. The possibility of him giving up on Stanford would loom as long as he hadn't made the commitment.

"I think," I sobbed out. "I think… I just need to cry, okay?"

"Okay," He held me against his chest and let me cry, and I mourned my childhood and what would have been my slow entrance into adulthood through college and teenage accomplishments. I let my tears wash away the disappointment, the unfulfilled dreams of college after high school, until I could allow my motherhood and instant adulthood to take hold again. Finally the sobs slowed and my breathing steadied. I wiped at my tears and Edward helped, and I loved the feel of his tender touch on my face.

"Are you all right, now?"

I nodded.

"They shouldn't have included you in that. They should have talked to me alone, I'm s-"

"Don't apologize to me, Edward. What they did; it's fine." He kissed me and I felt his apology on his lips. Just as planned, he would go to college, and I would postpone college and that was the way it would be and I accepted it in kisses.

"Should we go talk to Charlie?"

"We should tell him we're engaged."

"And ask his permission to share a room?"

I shook my head. "One thing at a time is better. Let's see how he accepts our engagement, first."

He nodded and then pulled me into a hug again. "But I loved waking up with you this morning. It was the first time we were able to wake up happy together."

"I know. I loved it, too. It felt right."

"Natural."

"Edward, will your parents be going out at all today?"

"I don't think so, why?"

"Because, now it's my sheets that need sterilizing and Emmett isn't here to do it."

He laughed. "I'll do it."

I held on tight around his waist and kissed his chest through his T-shirt.

"Come on, my beautiful fiancée. Time for round two. Let's go see your dad."

* * *

My dad was packing up his truck with fishing gear when we arrived, and he told us that if we wanted to talk to him now we had to come with him because this was his one day off and he was spending it fishing. So we rode with him to the river, climbed off the dock into his fishing boat, and drifted through the calm, seemingly abandoned water. There were no other boats around and the water, though pushing us along, barely rippled. It was so smooth it seemed I could stand on it without sinking. The air around us was quiet. Not even the airplane that flew overhead was close enough to be heard. Edward and I shared a bench facing my dad, and watched in silence as he added bait to his hook. Edward was the first to speak once my dad's fishing rod was cast.

"Chief Swan. Charlie," Edward said. "I want to thank you for the letter of recommendation you wrote for me."

"Ah, Bella told you about that, did she?"

"I appreciate it. I'm convinced it had a lot to do with why they offered me the opportunity to apply for the scholarship."

"Well, you're welcome and I hope it works out for you."

"Dad? Edward and I are engaged now." I had to say it. I was never any good at drawing things out, nor was I good at building up to the point. Just say it, my brain always told me. "He asked me last night and I said yes. We're going to wait, you know, until he's through with college, but it's official."

"Engaged?" He shook his head. "Engaged at seventeen, a baby on the way. If anyone would've told me this would happen when you moved here, I never would've believed it. I'd have been convinced they were speaking of someone else, or outright decked 'em."

All I could do was look at him. I couldn't come up with a response. What do you say? Sorry to disappoint you? I'd already said that.

Edward was the one who spoke. "We love each other and we want to spend the rest of our lives together. We would appreciate your blessing."

"So, you're asking for my blessing, not my permission?"

Edward leaned back against the side of the boat. Apparently he didn't have a response, now.

"Well," my dad said after quite an uncomfortable silence, "no part of this has been traditional, but I suppose if you two are in love, and from what I've witnessed, you do appear to be, then you have my blessing. Take good care of my daughter."

"I will."

"Dad, he doesn't have to _take care _of me. I'm not a doll, and I have a brain."

"Bella. Let me ask this of him." He looked Edward in the eyes for the first time. Throughout the entire former part of our trip, he had busied himself and his eyesight with fishing tasks. But now he held Edward's gaze. "You take good care of my daughter."

"I will."

"What does her happiness mean to you?"

"It means everything to me. Bella's happiness means my happiness."

My dad nodded. "Good. Same goes for me. Don't mess with her happiness and we'll all get along fine."

Edward put a relaxed arm around me for about a minute before my dad handed him a fishing pole. "Hook the line, let's double our chances here."

Edward did as he was told, neither of us surprised when my dad didn't hand me a fishing pole. I leaned against Edward as he fished with my dad. It felt good to just be calm and relaxed with him and my dad on a river shadowed with trees. Edward kissed my forehead and I closed my eyes.

"Bella," my dad said, "did you call your mother?"

"No. Why?"

"To tell her about your engagement."

"Dad, I'm not going to call her. She doesn't care. She wants nothing to do with me anymore. She made that more than clear."

"I think you should call her. She is your mother and, angry or not, she deserves to know what is going on in your life."

"I'll think about calling her. But if I do decide to call, I'll be hoping for voice mail."

This made him laugh. "There's one thing we have in common."

He reached over to hug me with one arm, the other holding his fishing rod. "I guess Congratulations are in order."

Nobody caught any fish that day, but we did take one step closer to becoming a real family; a real family accepted by my father.

* * *

Independent study, aside from being apart from Edward, had been way better than school at Forks High. On nicer days, I sat out on the patio and read. I was able to eat whenever I felt hungry. And I didn't have to get dressed all day if I didn't want to. I always did, but the fact that I didn't have to made me happy. The only thing missing was Edward. Of course, if he were here, we wouldn't really get any school work done.

Today was one of those nicer days. I was lying on a lounge chair, book in hand, wearing my comfy sweat pants and a T-shirt. I also had a light blanket for when the wind picked up or when the clouds hid the sun. I watched two birds flying together. They landed on a branch high in the fir tree, then flitted together from branch to branch. They looked like they were playing, flirting maybe? I wondered if birds flirted. Then I wanted to know what kind they were so I searched Carlisle's study for a bird book. It wasn't exactly homework, but I decided if bird watching took up too much of my time I could just write an essay on it for credit.

The more time that passed, the down side to independent study became clear: it doesn't really take up as much time as going to school, so I started getting bored by myself all day. I cooked sometimes and asked permission to plant vegetables and strawberries out back. I liked gardening. It got me outside, and relaxed me. Plus, I could keep an eye on the birds of Forks. I planted tomatoes in late May after the dangers of frost had passed. When they started growing, I'd make a good tomato sauce for Esme's pasta. Unfortunately, it takes two months for tomatoes to grow once they're planted and I, being impatient, kept searching for little buds hoping this tomato plant was faster than the rest. I kept them well watered, and fertilized regularly, hoping that might speed up the process, but I didn't want to kill them so I eased up and grew some patience.

A few weeks after our Non-Prom/Engagement Night, I received a letter from Jessica. I found it one afternoon waiting for me on the kitchen table. She wrote that I didn't have to worry about her anymore, that if we ever ran into each other, she wouldn't talk to me unless I talked to her first. She wrote she would never touch me. At the end she wished me the best and offered her congratulations. "I know he or she will be just beautiful," she'd added. I sat on the sofa and read it again just to make sure that I understood it correctly the first time, and that there were no hidden messages.

I found Edward in his bedroom studying for finals. I was supposed to stay away from him when he studied because he couldn't concentrate with me around, but I had to know about this.

"Edward, did you tell Jessica to write to me?"

He turned toward me. "I told her never to talk to you or touch you again. Did she write to you?"

I handed him the letter. I noticed he read it twice, too.

"Wow, I must have really gotten through to her." He stood up, facing me. "I never would have thought she had this in her."

"Well, who knows. She could've been laughing the whole time she wrote it. What did you say to her, anyway?"

"I just said that even if you weren't showing yet, there was a real, delicate, fragile baby growing inside of you." He walked around behind me and slid his arms under mine and around my waist, holding me close. "I told her she put that tiny life in danger, not only by physically touching you but also by causing you emotional stress." He rested his chin on my shoulder and rubbed gentle circles on my stomach, "I told her our baby's life was more important than mine or hers." He kissed my cheek and neck, before I turned around to kiss him, too.

"You really love our baby."

"Yes, I do. It's strange loving someone you've never met, but I do."

"Me too."

* * *

My strawberries started producing in June. I was squatting down, freeing some from their vines and eating them right there in the small garden. Some made it into my basket, too. I forced myself not to eat those. They were for everybody. I'd been expecting Edward home an hour ago and was just wondering-for the hundredth time, what was keeping him when he announced his arrival behind me.

"I have something for you."

I stood up to face him and he took my left hand, placing the engagement ring on my finger for the second time. I had been postponing getting it sized because I didn't want to remove it from my finger where it belonged. But fear of losing it finally overtook my ring separation anxiety. He slipped it over my knuckle and it fit perfectly. He kissed my hand and then my lips.

"Taste this," I said, feeding him a strawberry.

"Mmm, it almost tastes as good as you. Let me taste you again." He shared his strawberry-flavored tongue with me. His hands came to the small of my back and pulled me close against him and it didn't matter that my belly bulge got in the way. My arms encircled his neck, my fingers making their way into his hair. His lips moved to my cheek and my jaw, then my throat. Down my throat he kissed and then up again to just behind my ear. How he could make me want him so badly within a matter of seconds was beyond my comprehension. But I did. I wanted him naked and me naked and I had to remind myself that his mother was just inside, in the kitchen right through those sliding glass doors. Those clear, see-through, sliding glass doors.

"Edward," I said and tried to pull away but his tongue was on my neck and the last thing I wanted was to pull away. "Edward, have another strawberry." I said it but I still made no effort to get away from his lips. In fact I tilted my head to give his lips better access and I held his head right where it was.

"Strawberries," he said against my skin. "I want to make love to you on a bed of strawberries."

That got a moan from me. "Edward…" his lips were on mine before I could get more words out. Whimpers from my throat were the only sounds I could make. Then he moved his lips down my neck again and over my chest. I felt his hands pushing their way up my rib cage, making their way to my breasts. "Edward…not here."

He stopped and pulled away, his breathing heavy and his eyes unfocused. He closed them. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I couldn't help myself."

He opened his eyes and I laughed at him. "So, the strawberries? Good, then?"

He nodded.

"Just think, if we move to Palo Alto, we can grow grapes!"

"Ah, the fruit that make wishes come true." He moved forward to kiss me again but stopped himself. He put his hand on my stomach instead and brought his face down there, kneeling in the soil. "Hi baby. I see you're growing. That's good. Listen, your mother is the most amazing person, so you treat her nicely and don't cause her too much pain, okay? Deal?" His fingers ran down my stomach as though actually touching the baby. Then he kissed my stomach and rested his cheek against me. I held him there.

"I'm afraid you're not human," I said.

"No? What am I." He stood up straight and looked down at me, his green eyes intense on mine, still capable of taking my breath away.

"I don't think you are Carlisle's and Esme's son. I think you were born of a romance novel, and were so well read that you actually manifested yourself into human form."

"Are you calling me cheesy?"

"I'm calling you better than fiction."

He kissed me then draped an arm over my shoulder, guiding me back into the house, up the stairs and toward his room. "If I'm better than fiction, so are you."

* * *

I hope you enjoyed _The Path We Chose_, and that it lived up to your expectations.

Next is the sequel. I will post a teaser here as soon as it's ready to remind you it's coming. :)


	26. Sequel Teaser: Not Without You

Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight.

**A/N**: Here is a little teaser to the sequel titled,_ Not Without You_

I just wanted to give you a little something and show that I am definitely working hard on it. This is half of the first chapter.

**This is the short teaser, but the sequel has been posted.** Check out my profile to find it. :)

* * *

The Path We Chose Sequel teaser

Not Without You

Chapter 1: Rain (1/2 chapter)

It was the last week of July and it was raining. The rain was coming down hard and fast and it was the kind of rain that's loud and gets pelted into your face by the wind, and I was late. I was running late for my six month prenatal appointment. I pulled my hood tighter around my face and splashed through puddles to my truck. Edward was already working at the hospital--the warm, dry, hospital. So he was planning on meeting me there. Before I'd left the house, I'd thought about calling him, but I was only five minutes behind at this point and calling him, would have just made me later. I trucked through the pouring rain, my windshield wipers furiously attacking the splashing water, and still, they weren't quick enough.

I cursed as I hit the first red light. I knew that once you hit one red light in this town, you hit them all. I checked my watch. Even if I drove slowly and was stopped by every light along the way, I would still only be ten minutes late. But life, or God, or fate, had other plans.

I was thinking about Arizona--how in Arizona I would be hot right now, sweating, and wishing for rain. My thoughts were on heat-stroke-inducing Phoenix when my truck started to stall. It putt-putt-putted and then shut itself off. I turned the key in the ignition but all I heard was clicking. I pumped the gas a few times, but still nothing. I sat back in my seat for a minute and stared at the streaks of water ahead of me, now thinking about the fact that I still hadn't replaced my cell phone. I was about two miles from the market where I could use the payphone, but I had no choice. I zipped up my jacket, stepped into the puddled street and walked, pregnant, in the rain, with my head down.

Nearly four minutes into my walk, the rain began to slow enough so I could look ahead and not down at my feet. And once the rain slowed to a sprinkle, there was honking behind me. I tried to ignore it--didn't turn around, but then I heard his voice calling my name.

"Mike?"

"Hey, do you need a ride?"

He pulled over, got out of his car and opened the door for me. I frowned at him. "My truck broke down."

"Yeah, I saw it back there. I'll take you to Arnie's." It was actually, _Arnold's Auto Works_, but since this was Forks, everyone already knew Arnie, the old guy with the freckled bald head, long white beard and dirty hands, so Arnie's was what the place was called.

"You're all wet," Mike said, as he pulled away from the curb.

"It was raining," I said, because apparently when you're in the middle of an uncomfortable silence with someone you barely like, but who's helping you out, pointing out the obvious is the only way to go. "Do you have a phone I can borrow?"

He pulled his phone out of his pocket and I called Edward. He didn't answer with a, "hello," he answered with, "Why are you calling me?"

"Edward," I said.

"Bella? Where are you? What are you doing on Mike's phone?"

I told him about my truck, Mike and Arnie's. "Do you want Mike to take me to the hospital?"

"No, I'll come for you. I just have to finish up something here and then I'll reschedule your appointment."

At Arnie's I waited for his tow-truck driver to pick up my truck and Mike insisted on waiting with me so we sat in the office together next to the old morning coffee and the dusty water cooler.

"So, you're, uh, really having a baby, huh?"

"Seems so."

He gave me a nervous laugh. "Just think, if we had gotten together when we had the chance you'd be pregnant with my baby right now."

Okay, that got my attention. I looked over at him. "What do you mean, _when we had the chance_?"

"You know, last year when I asked you to homecoming. If it weren't for your fear of dances we would have definitely hooked up."

"Mike. Seriously? People really do live in delusions in this world."

"What?"

"Never mind. Thanks for helping me out, anyway."

"Anytime." He pointed at my stomach. "Do you have a name picked out?"

I shook my head at him wide-eyed. We hadn't picked out a name. I hadn't even thought about it. Edward and I had been calling the baby, "baby". Certainly that wouldn't be the name. Leave it to Mike to be the one to make me realize that my baby actually would need a name. I didn't have much time to think about it, though because Arnie came back, scratching his beard to inform me that my truck needed a new alternator and some brake work and it would cost me $1200.00.

"Whoa," Mike said and I took a deep breath.

"Mike, I appreciate your help, but you don't have to wait. Edward will be here any minute. I know you have other things to do."

"I don't mind, Bella."

I sighed and my neck was sweating. "Well, if you really want to wait, can you wait outside for a minute?"

I was so afraid he would ask me why, and I didn't want to explain to him that I needed privacy to try and beg Arnie to bring the price down for me. Thankfully, Mike obliged and left me there staring at Arnie.

"Does it really _need_ all that work? Because I can't afford that."

"Sugar, if you want to be safe and avoid breakdowns, then yes, the repairs are necessary. And I've discounted the cost of labor for you already."

I wondered just what kind of "breakdown" I would be avoiding if I coughed up $1200.00.

Late for my appointment, truck stalling, walking through the rain only to be picked up by Mike after the rain had stopped--none of that was as difficult as this. Had I been living with my father, he would have paid to fix my truck, but since I no longer lived with him, by choice, I had no right to even ask him to pay. There was no way in hell I was going to ask Carlisle and Esme to break out their credit cards for me. And I didn't have enough money saved up yet to cover the cost. Which way do you go in this situation? Swallow your pride and ask for monetary help, or impose on others for rides and live a truckless life until you can afford to fix it? Staring and staring at Arnie in his office, I couldn't come to a decision. I needed Emmett for this kind of dilemma. But if I went to him, he'd probably think I was hinting for him to help me pay and that would be humiliating.

"Do you accept payment in installments?" I finally asked after the sound of his throat-clearing broke through my silence.

"Here's what I can do for you. It will take eight to ten days to get your parts anyway, so you will have some time before we're finished with the work. Once it's ready to go, you can pay 50% then and 50% after one month."

I did the only thing I could do at that point; I shook his grease-stained hand and gave him the go-ahead to get started on my truck. Then I walked out of the office because it was too hot in there and I wanted rain on my face again. It wasn't raining anything but Mike outside.

"All finished?" he asked.

"Yes."

"Do you want me to drive you to--"

Edward pulled up and parked by the curb. "Hey," he said as he approached, "sorry. Sorry." He kissed me. "Thanks Mike, really." He shook Mike's hand and turned back to me as if Mike would just leave. "It took forever to get the appointment changed. The receptionist kept going on and on about how she knew you were having a girl by the way your face glowed and how she was never wrong about these things. I heard all about her niece, who she also happened to predict would be a girl. Oh man, if our kid is anything like her niece sounds, we are going to need real therapy." He laughed. "Your face does glow. She's right about that." He kissed me again.

"You're having a girl?" Mike said, reminding us he was still there.

"No!" I said. "I mean…we don't know for sure. We don't know the sex. Please don't say anything at all about that, Mike. You know how the people of Forks like to spread news."

He squinted at me like he wasn't quite sure what I meant, so I clarified. "You know, Jessica, Lauren, rumors?"

"Oh. I don't talk to Jessica anymore. Ever since she pushed you, nobody really talks to her. Except for Lauren."

It was my turn to frown in confusion. "Really?" I looked at Edward.

"What? You know I never did talk to her unless I had to."

"But you never told me that _nobody_ talks to her."

"I don't notice that kind of stuff, Bella. I go to school, get my grade, get back to you. That's it."

"Hey, I didn't mean to start an argument," Mike said holding up his hands.

I scoffed. "We're not arguing," I looked directly into his blue eyes. "We _never_ argue." God. If we could get out of this without Mike revving the rumor engine it would be a miracle.

Edward laughed, put his arm around me and kissed the side of my head. "What's up with your truck?"

I told him what the problem was but not how much it would cost. It turns out I didn't have to offer that minor detail because Mike did. This guy was going to be lucky to get out of this without _me _pushing _him_. "Mike. I really do appreciate you helping me out. Not many people would have stopped. It was actually really heroic of you, but this part, this is between Edward and me, you know? Maybe we'll see you again, soon."

"Okay, Bella. No problem. It was good seeing you." He started to lean in for a hug but I took a step back and he looked at Edward and must have thought better of it. Then he finally turned around and headed for his car.

"$1200.00?"

I took Edward's hand and guided him toward his car. "It's okay. I worked it out so I could pay part of it now and the rest later."

"Let me pay for some of it."

"It's not your truck, Edward. It's my responsibility and I've taken care of it." I opened his door for him.

"No, it's not my truck, but you're my girl. Let me help."

"Nope." I touched his nose as if that would put an end to the conversation. "You already help enough by being here and looking like that." I put my hand in his hair and messed it up even more. "Perfect." Then I kissed him and when I felt his hands grab my waist and pull me closer, I knew that was the _actual_ end of the conversation.

* * *

**A/N**: Tell me what you think so far. Feel free to ask me questions, I always reply.

This was half of the first chapter. The full chapter will be posted as a separate story: _Not Without You_. If you want to be notified once it's published, add me to your author alert.

**Sequel has been posted! :)** Reviews are always appreciated.


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